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My Boyfriend left me in the past for his EX. Him and I got back together and now even though he left me and came back I feel scared that he will do it again. What should I do?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 01/28/2020 at 3:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 31st, 2018 7:14am
Trust is not something that is easy to earn..Especially if trust is broken to achieve to earn that trust again will take a lot of time and effort..That is what your BF will need to work towards, earning your trust..
ValerieHasACupOfTea
July 2nd, 2018 4:36pm
It depends on how they feel about their past relationship. If they have gotten together with them multiple times, there is obviously quite a high chance that they will get together again, however if to you it seems like they have moved on, and to them like they have major interest in you rather than the ex, its probably worth staying in the relationship.
Anonymous
November 27th, 2018 2:05am
That is always something that you'd worry about being in a relationship I think. Whether he left, or cheated, or never did, if you love someone (or even are just attached to them) you'd worry that they might trade you for someone else. I think you just have to focus on the relationship and make the most of it while you can because you cannot really control the other person no matter how hard you try! In fact, I do hope you don't express your doubts and jealousy to him too often so that he does not feel pressured by you, then he may actually want to get out! Also, why not use this as an opportunity to be the best person you can be? Not cater to his every need I mean, but be an amazing person that he'd be proud to be with?
Anonymous
January 29th, 2019 8:03am
In my experience, the way I would deal with the fears is to have a conversation with my ex and explain how I feel. I would make sure my expectations were known and that I was honest and clear about how I feel. This gives him the option and the ability to make an informed decision that this fear exists and it will need to be respected and understood by both of us and if he doesn't think he can handle that, he was given the choice to make that decision. I would also have to accept that if I decided to work things out, I have made that decision to work things out with someone and either I accept his behavior and know that this could be a possibility of happening again, or I don't accept the behavior and have to change the nature of the relationship. Open, honest communication is the best tactic I have found when dealing in a relationship.
stileschase
March 12th, 2019 2:36am
You should sit dow with him and share with him your feelings. You shouldn’t feel scared around someone you love. Establish your standards for him in your relationship and show that you care about trying to work together as a team. Remember that it is you two against the problem, not you vs. him. If he continues to show faulty actions, consider breaking it off. Find someone you can rely on, and love completely. I’ll say it again, “you shouldn’t feel scared around someone you love.” I hope this helps, and you find peace in your life and relationship. Bye!
Anonymous
January 28th, 2020 3:55am
My advice is to have an open and honest conversation with him. Tell him that you're feeling insecure because of your past - ask him how he feels about the recent events in your relationship. Discuss how his actions made you feel, did you feel abandoned? Or did you feel jealous? Try to label those feelings so you can give them a name. Above all, remember that you are a valuable person who deserves to be in a committed and healthy relationship. Remember that you don't need to settle for a relationship where you don't feel like you're being valued and appreciated. Best of luck xxx