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My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 19th, 2016 8:52pm
This depends on the principles you value the most. If it is a necessity for you to be true and loyal to each other, it might be better to break up. If both of you value freedom over loyalty, you may talk about him or her about an open relationship or other measures to figure things out. First get your priorities straight and then go on talking to him or her about the incident. Tell each other how you feel about the situation. Figure out if you're on the same page. If all else fails, you should consider a break up.
delicateEars36
August 8th, 2016 7:04pm
It depends on how much you care about them and if it was a one time thing. If you decide to work it out then talk about ways to avoid this happening again. Maybe like not being alone with single people or drinking alcohol etc.
Alinium
August 9th, 2016 2:10pm
That is up to you. Some get over it, outgrow the cheating part, others outgrow their cheating partner. That is a completely personal question, answered by you, and you alone.
Anonymous
September 12th, 2016 12:29pm
don't tread too fast, have a talk, maybe they have a reason, maybe they deserve a chance ad if they fail to justify go on with your instinct
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 12:59am
I think so, depending on how long you two were together. Cheating isn't good, and also, what if they'd cheat on you again? I'd personally breakup with them, because I've had someone cheat on me before and I stayed. And they cheated again after.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 5:31am
If you think he doesn't deserve any second chance, You should. But make Sure you have a smile on your face after your decision. Because anyday, you matter more than anyone else. If you feel, you should give him/her a second chance, give it. Because your love is worth taking a risk. No matter if you are single or taken, what matters is.. you are happy or not 😁
Blessyou28
September 14th, 2016 9:11am
If he or she wants to start over and you trust them then continue the relationship. Do what is good for your wellbeing.
Fraz
September 14th, 2016 9:12am
It's basically up to you to decide. You've to question what it is that you seek from the relationship. Do you trust them not to do it again? Are you able to forgive them for their actions? Will you be able to go back to the way things were and so on...
openyourmindbeforeyourmouth
September 15th, 2016 11:54am
Definitely, You are worth more than any one cheating on you. And I understand that you may love them, but you need to love yourself as well and be with some one who treats you right.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:05pm
If you can move forward and cope with the impact of being cheated on then its your choice, but they do say once a cheat always a cheat so it could happen again,.
PuppyLove13
September 18th, 2016 7:56pm
Yes if he isn't genuinely sorry or blames you for it or is just being dumb about it.. If they don't immediately understand their mistake, they never will and you will always have to suffer..
ariahhughes
September 23rd, 2016 2:27pm
Definitely, your boyfriend or girlfriend obviously thinks there is someone that can give them better, but he or she does not deserve your time, love and care.
caringdaisy
September 25th, 2016 7:13am
Yes. If someone cheats on you it is not a mistake, its a choice. They knew what they were doing when they did it and they knew they will hurt you when you find out. If they do it once they can do it again.
Honeypuffs99
October 1st, 2016 1:26pm
You should have a completely honest and open conversation with them, and then decide if you should break up. If cou can't forgive you boyfriend or girlfriend it is better for both of you to move on, no matter how hard it may seem at first.
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2016 4:46pm
Well, that depends on the situation. Talk to them and figure out all of your feelings and why they cheated on you. After you've talked and you completely understand their side and why they did what they did it will be easier to figure out whether or not you can continue your relationship and make it healthier or if you need to end it.
Jordanc11
October 5th, 2016 12:32am
It depends if you can look past it, there's no right or wrong action , if you can look past it then it's fine
IAmTheOneRealZ
October 9th, 2016 9:45pm
Start by talking to them, tell them how you feel after what they did. Then both decide on what to do
HalcyonPhoenix
October 12th, 2016 10:22am
Definitely. You don't deserve to be with someone who isn't loyal. If they're not satisfied in the relationship, then you shouldn't settle as the second best option!
originalbraveheart63
October 27th, 2016 1:37pm
If your partner has cheated on you then it means that this was their choice. If that was their choice than you should move on and find someone better.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 8:15pm
Maybe you could try talking to them first. Maybe you could work things out. However , trust is a huge part of relationships. So , the main thing to consider is if you will be able to continue trusting him/her. Doing what feels right may be the best option
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2016 5:18pm
Honestly, it all depends on the nature of the original relationship. It's a personal choice but, it's safe to say you won't be able to trust the person the same way. But holding onto them and working through it might work out better! Just consider if you're okay with what happened or not, if you're not you definitely deserve better, wether it means getting your partner to change or breaking it off.
cosyheart21
November 5th, 2016 5:10am
Trust is the most important part of any relationship, and after that trust is broken, it takes a lot of time, energy, and dedication to work on building it back up. If you truly believe that working to rebuild your relationship is worth it, and both you and your partner are willing to work at it and make things right, then you should try and continue to work things out. However, if you feel like it isn't worth it, or, if your partner, doesn't want to work things out, or take responsibility for his or her actions, then breaking up is something that you should consider. Stay strong.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2016 9:53pm
It all depends on the circumstances. Humans make mistakes, and as humans, we should learn to forgive. But forgivness does not mean you still have love. So it's up to you to decide if they're worth it.
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 6:29pm
That all depends on 2 things, quite separately; can you forgive them and can you trust them again. If the answer to those questions is yes, then you might want to give them another chance. But it has to be conditional and it has to be something you have been honest with yourself about. Don't tel them that you trust them, it's fine and you've put it behind you if you haven't. All you're doing then is selling yourself short and everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them, cares for them and puts them first. If your partner compromised all that by going behind your back, have an honest conversation with yourself as well as them to see if there is a way past it for you.
DylanListener
December 30th, 2016 5:03pm
i think that is a decision you have to make yourself and many factors influence your choice like if this is the first time and can you trust them. try weighing up the benefits of being with the person and the costs while considering the fact they have been unfaithful
HeartofaPhoenix
January 26th, 2017 10:57pm
Whether you stay together or not is a personal decision and what was true for others may are may not be true for you. In my own experience that answer depends on whether or not you can forgive your partner and if your partner is truly repentant and can forgive themselves.
creativeStrawberry72
February 15th, 2017 3:28am
When someone cheats, the other partner has trouble regaining trust in the partner that cheated so even if you stay together it is all about if you feel like you can move on from that betrayal.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2017 6:48am
Is this the first time? Are you gonna be able to forgive him/her? Are you sure? Can you move on? . Ask yourself those questions
EveMarshal
February 23rd, 2017 12:26pm
Yes! because its not worth it to fight anymore with a cheater. Forgive him/her then move on. Find a better one that's never cheat! which is honest, faithful and loyal to you.
Anonymous
February 26th, 2017 1:56pm
It's not right for any one person to decide if you should break up but you should take a step back and look at the situation. Do I still love him/her? Would they cheat on me again? How often has this occurred? If they had any respect for me why did they cheat on me? After asking yourself some of those questions, then you should make the decision for yourself if you want to stay with your partner.