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My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
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Andrea Tuck, LCPC

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I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
JD821
March 24th, 2017 7:28pm
I would ask them if they're happy with you, be mature about it. It hurts when this happens as you give yourself to someone in hopes they will do the same. Be mature, and ask them if they're happy and if not, take the steps to move on, be the bigger person to admit that it will not work. Unless they admit that it's genuinely a mistake and they truly love you, move on. A person who cheats is usually unhappy in some aspect of themselves or the relationship.
HeartyHeartfelt
April 12th, 2017 3:01pm
I would say yes right off the bat but I won't assume that I know the situation. You know what went on. Was this person emotionally, mentally, and physically available to you when you needed him/her? Did this person make you feel safe? Did this person treat you with respect and dignity? If yes, then something really wrong happened in the middle that the two of you must discuss. If it can be worked out, great, but be discerning if it happens again. If no, then this person will probably make excuses which is NOT UP TO YOU to fix. No matter how much potential and goodness we see in people, it's not up to us to fix them when they do wrong. The must loving thing you can do for both of you, is to leave.
oceanthelightworker
April 16th, 2017 6:35pm
This is a very touchy subject. I would first decide if it was something i was willing to work through with my partner, if i had decided that it was not something i could get over, then yes. You should break up with them because staying with someone who you are not 100% completely comfortable with will damage your happiness, something that is very important in our lives!
AncientSoul
April 26th, 2017 6:46am
It's up to two things imho, A. Is s/he possibly going to do it again? and why did s/he do it in the first place? I can think of a mistake, unintentional and not related to this person personality, so it's not likely to happen again, but if it was intentional or the personality itself is not honest, sincere, loyal and devoted, and perhaps going to do it again, so it's a no-no for me. B. if A checks out (s/he's good, but made an honest mistake) so it's up to your forgiveness power and span, if you're able to really let go of that incident and totally forgive it, then it's cool, otherwise, it's not healthy for the relation to hold it as a leverage on your partner, to raise whenever you have a disagreement. If you can't let it go, then the relationship won't be healthy if you decided not to break up. Good luck
Suitcase33
May 5th, 2017 11:19pm
I was broken up with before cheated on. If they cheated, they knowingly hurt you. Try to decide for yourself if you see yourself truly forgiving them and trusting them. It will take a lot of effort and hard work and it will be different. Personally, I would not want to stay with someone who knowingly hurt me.
BenevolentWords
May 13th, 2017 9:13am
While cheating is the ultimate act of betrayal, sometimes mistakes happen and relationships can be repaired after cheating occurs. Take a look at all aspects of your relationship and decide whether or not it's worth fixing to you.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2017 7:35pm
You should first sit together and talk about it. Was this a situation that unintentionally happened or the other? If you are both able and willing to talk about it with each other then you may come to a reasonable agreement. Whether that'd be going on your separate ways or continue with your relationship. Seeking professional help is also advisable.
DazzlingMoon438
June 3rd, 2017 5:46pm
It honestly depends how the boyfriend or girlfriend tells you. If they are asking for forgiveness and it looks like they truly mean it, then you could stay together if you feel this way. If its been going on for a long time and show no remorse at all, I would question whether a break up would be the right thing to do ...
Anonymous
June 6th, 2017 3:48pm
Trust is a huge thing with relationships and if that person even managed to entertain the prospect of going for someone else while they are with you, then that tells so much of the status of your relationship. It's toxic. So yes, break up with them. It's not like break ups are the end of the line. You can take this moment to recover and also maybe you can rediscover and rekindle the relationship.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2017 8:26pm
That's not good. This can be a hard situation for you to be in after this, due to an understandable lack of trust on your side. This is entirely up to you, as you know yourself best. Do you care about him, still? Does he care about you? Is it worth staying in a relationship like that? Is there anything else you worry about to do with them? It's hard to know for certain, but in time you will either forgive them or break up with them. Good luck!
Anonymous
June 29th, 2017 1:13pm
First, it'd be best if you's sat down and spoke about this, adult to adult. Be openly honest about it and hopefully be able come to a civil conclusion.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2017 3:38am
Being cheated on always questions the trust that you thought was built between you and your significant other.. And it'll linger in your mind whether they'll do it again. Speaking to your partner about the trust that was broken and how it can be mended back can help in your decision.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2017 6:48pm
You should give him-her the chance to talk. After, you decide if you can live with that... You can afront this, good luck and keep strong.
calliista14
December 8th, 2017 1:08am
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AMomentInTime1830
September 13th, 2021 11:55am
That’s a personal decision only you can know the answer to. There is no right answer here, and what we each experience in our lives will lead us to different outcomes. It’s easy enough to say “YES, of course!!!” But depending on your circumstances that answer may not be what’s best for you. Look at the facts. Look at your partner. Decide what to do from here. This is not an easy process, nor is it something that comes without faults. There will be work to do on both sides, and rebuilding trust as well as self esteem will be the forefront of the situation. If staying together, working through this challenge is what works best for you and your personal circumstance, then be patient. Be kind, be forgiving, and be honest. If this is the choice you make, give each other the best shot at success as possible. If you choose to leave, then care for yourself. Heal yourself and take the time to learn to love who you are and what you encompass as an individual with a new experience to grow from