Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
December 16th, 2015 2:33am
In my experience, cheating is more of a symptom than the actual problem. There's probably something else wrong with the relationship and that problem sometimes manifests itself as cheating in some people. I have known people who have gotten past it and had a good relationship after. But this is incredibly rare. What you need to decide is if you think you can get past this emotionally, that you trust your partner to not do it again, or even if the relationship is worth the effort in the first place. Sometimes, there are just relationships that we cannot save, no matter how much we love the other person. If you think the other person will never treat you like they should, you should probably let the relationship go. You need to remind yourself that you don't deserve this kind of treatment and that there are other people out there who will treat you well. They won't be the same person, and it won't be the same relationship as your previous one. But what you need to ask yourself is, "Do I want my next relationship to be the same as this one?" If the answer is no, it's time to move on.
December 26th, 2015 10:54am
Yes. We are all human beings who are somehow scared, we make mistakes, we do stupid things that we regret later. But that doesn't justify our actions. If that person really loved, then he or she wouldn't even think about cheating on you. Life is too short to be with people who don't fully appreciate you and treat you like a toy, because you deserve someone loving and caring.
January 31st, 2016 2:42pm
If this is first time that your girl or guy cheated on you, and if they are asking for a second chance - ask yourself whether you want to or not, trust your instincts. Certain behaviors are simply not acceptable in a relationship. And if this is not the for the first time that he/she is cheating, then you should move on with your life. Before finding someone new there in your life, find yourself first. Love yourself, trust yourself, be in a relationship with yourself first because this relation would never end until you die. And you cannot expect someone else to understand you if you don't know yourself well. Stay strong:)
November 4th, 2014 3:22am
YES! That's not fair to either of you. He/she doesn't deserve you, and you can do better! Make sure you can confirm the fact that they cheated, and get the heck out of there!
November 8th, 2014 3:44am
It all depends on you. Maybe if he has a reason why and if you can work it out, why not? My father cheated on my mother but my mother forgave my father. Everyone deserves a chance but if he keeps doing it again, he doesn't deserve you. :) Hope you'll choose the right decision
April 29th, 2015 3:25am
If it feels as though you can't trust them anymore, and like you never will be able to again, it is likely best that you move on from that relationship It can become toxic through worrying about whether they'll do it again.
November 21st, 2015 1:14pm
I think the answer to this depends entirely upon the situation and the people involved. There are so many factors involved that could change the situation entirely.
December 17th, 2015 7:36am
You need to reflect on how you feel. Do you think you can trust your partner? Do you still feel love and attachment, or do you feel as though it will grow to resentment? A beautiful quote I have seen float around the internet is " when in love with two people, pick the second because if the first was good enough--the second wouldn't have happened." Follow you heart and know how much of yourself you are willing to put out there. Ultimately, make sure you and your heart are safe and sound.
December 24th, 2015 10:53pm
I personally believe that honesty and trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship. With that said, I don't and will never be able to cope with cheating. Every situation is different, but if I know I am treating my other half with love, compassion, selflessness and more, then it is inexcusable for him to cheat. If there are any issues and insecurities, then communication is the best option. Often times our insecurities and lack of attention makes us feel unwanted, and to some, that makes it ok to go seek for that attention elsewhere. If you feel you are falling into that trap, or see your partner heading there, then step up and communicate. Don't allow someone to cheat on you, or to drive yourself to cheat on someone else.
December 26th, 2015 1:53am
This has to do with personal preference in a relationship. In my experience I would break up with the person as I do not agree with infidelity. It is not fair to you to put the energy into someone who is willing to hurt you.
September 29th, 2014 5:49pm
Every relationship is different, it is something you need to talk to your partner about and figure out of it was a one time thing, or something more consistent. Go with your gut feeling, if you feel this is the final straw, move on and be happy wit the decision you made.
April 23rd, 2015 12:08am
Personally, I would. But your relationship is different and you know whats best for you. Ask yourself if you can forgive this person, and if you can accept why they did it and if you can accept them possibly doing it again. If any of those answers are no, then you know what to do. It also would depend on what boundaries were established in the relationship.It's best to discuss that with your partner.A possibility is this other person, may want to break up and not know how to tell you, or simply just doesn't have the respect for you that you deserve.
October 29th, 2015 8:51am
A partner that cheats automatically creates a toxic relationship. Sit them down and explain that their behavior is wrong and then break it off.
December 17th, 2015 6:35pm
Unless he approached you immediately after he cheated and confessed, and unless he's only cheated one my experience if he cheats once he will at least try to cheat again. When trust issues reach that level usually intense therapy is needed to maintain the relationship.
December 25th, 2015 1:39am
Every situation is different. There is emotional cheating and physical cheating. Physically cheating usually is physical attraction that occurs immediately and only lasts for a moment. Emotional cheating develops overtime and your partner may find more than a physical attraction. Either way, it's something that you and your partner should talk about together.
January 3rd, 2016 4:53am
In my experience. someone who cheats isn't inclined to stop. It's best to recognize cheating as an unacceptable habit that will repeat itself. It's also important to bear in mind that no matter how much we love someone, sometimes we have to do what's right for ourselves. And if we stay with someone that cheats, all that's going to happens is they'll continue with this habit and end up hurting us again. Cheating is never pretty on either end, but it's best to break up the first time, so there's no further hurt.
January 10th, 2016 11:24am
Absolutely. No excuses for it. Its as simple as that. Others might disagree but they'd be wrong. If they cheat then its just straight up lack of respect. A relationship without mutual respect is like a hole in a boat. Cheaters will tell you that there are exceptions but honest people know theres no excuses. If you want to have sex with others then break up first, its not hard.
February 3rd, 2016 7:36am
This is a question only YOU can answer. You have to think about how you feel about it: 1) Will you be able to forgive him/her? 2) Not only are you willing to forgive, are you willing to forget as well? 3) Will you be able to move past it? People usually say that they forgive someone but they will never forget, or they keep that person at arm's length, and that might work with work relationships or friendships but not in a relationship such as boyfriend/girlfriend/fianceé/husband/wife. These relationships are unique in that they don't work if you don't fully trust the other person. So in able for the relationship to work and BE HEALTHY, you not only have to COMPLETELY forgive, you also have to forget. Moving past it is another essential step. You may have forgiven and thought you've forgotten but an unrelated argument days, weeks, months, or years later might re-spark the issue. Once you've forgiven and forgotten, you cannot bring this issue back into the relationship especially in an argument. If so, it only means you really have not forgiven or forgotten. So think deeply before you make any decisions. Take your emotions and your feelings into consideration and see what you can and cannot deal with.
February 11th, 2016 8:59am
Yes. You deserve better than that. If they cheated once, they will most likely cheat again. If they truly love you, they will never cheat on you.
December 11th, 2016 6:00pm
It is never easy having someone you love betray you like that. Depending for the reason behind it, you may be able to get past it. Some people can, some people can't. It's all down to you, and how YOU feel. You are the most important person in your life. If you feel like it is time to move on because you cannot trust them anymore, then maybe it is time to leave.
December 14th, 2016 6:13am
Being cheated is really a hard feeling to cope up with. But, I think, if the other person is willing to change and be with us forever, I prefer to forgive and stay with that person. Everyone do mistakes, but if they are willing to correct their mistakes, a chance has to be given. In case, if the other person don't want to change, then it is highly preferable to break up.
December 16th, 2016 4:56pm
This is a question you should work out between you and your significant other. Ask yourself what the situation was, if you can forgive it and move forward- or if you feel you'll never be able to trust that person again. People make mistakes. Some will repeat them and others won't. Love needs trust, so ask yourself if you can regain that trust.
May 14th, 2018 10:13pm
It’s up to you, but it’s also up to you to understand that your special and deserve the best, so any one who’s giving you less than that should make you question wether it’s a good situation to be in or not.
December 18th, 2015 2:49am
The idea of ending a relationship can be quite devastating, but at the same time you need to think about what could happen in the long run. Ask yourself some questions first: are you okay with your partner cheating on you? Do you think your partner would ever cheat again? Will you ever be able to forgive your partner? Try listing out the pros and cons of being with this individual, sit down and have a discussion with them and see where that takes you. Communication is rarely used these days but it can help you figure out what you truly want to do. Hope this helps!
December 18th, 2015 5:20am
Yes, because you do not deserve someone who cheated on you. It puts you at risk for them cheating on you again. You deserve better than to be cheated on. If you stayed, you would most likely either no be happy or too worried if it will happen again.
December 23rd, 2015 5:46am
If this is his first time and it doesn't seem like he would do it again the no don't break up but if he seems like the person to do that then break up
January 13th, 2016 5:34pm
Sure .... a cheater isn't wirthy of being loved or cherished and I don't forgive cheaters personally
November 27th, 2016 6:24am
I cannot necessarily give advice, but it may help to sit down and talk it over with them to get clarity on the situation, and make serious decisions after doing so. But if you are ever in a relationship that you are not comfortable in, you do NOT have to stay, under any circumstances.
March 5th, 2017 11:18am
Hi there, Well I would say that it depends on numerous factors. Firstly, it depends how strong the relationship actually is. Also although cheating is totally wrong, what was the actual reason for cheating? I am saying this, because I was a little naughty and cheated slightly as I knew that it was practically the end of the road with my relationship, I know that's not a strong enough reason but it's the truth. If you think that you and have the potential to build something with this person then I do believe In second chances. If you are going to give a second chance though you need to make sure your trust is strong. I hope this helps.
June 30th, 2017 9:00pm
It depends on whether you believe you can rebuild the trust and intimacy that has been lost when they cheated. Cheating on someone is essentially violating their trust and the relationship itself; if you think you can still make things work without resenting them or it being an issue for your relationship's future, then breaking up is not necessary.