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My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
April 9th, 2015 4:29am
That is a call only you can make for your relationship. It will depend on if you feel like it was a one time thing and if you think you two can get past it and rebuild the broken trust.
April 30th, 2015 2:58am
Here's what I've noticed: people pretty much always know what they want to do. They're just waiting for someone to give them permission to do it. Give yourself permission to act in the way you think is best.
May 7th, 2015 6:52am
This is purely up to you. However, I would not stand for it and I would choose to depart from the relationship. You deserve better! :D
May 22nd, 2015 5:12pm
If your partner is truly sorry for what they did and you're willing to forgive them, try working on the problem first. Everyone makes mistakes. Yes, cheating is definitely one that is extremely horrible. But there is always hope for a relationship if both parties are willing to work on it.
August 21st, 2015 8:48pm
That is up to you. If you can forgive and move on then it's possible to stay together. Determine the feelings of your partner and find out if they would like to stay together as well.
August 25th, 2015 7:40pm
It really depends on whether or not you believe this relationship is worth keeping. Do you think they're likely to cheat again? Honestly, it will be tough because trust has been broken and it's a slow process to build it back up. If you are willing to forgive, and he/she is not going to cheat again.. then you may not have to break up.
August 26th, 2015 2:14am
well first you all have to talk about it and if the decision is to not be together then so let it be and sometimes it is a good thing to forgive and forget
August 31st, 2015 9:33pm
Nobody but the two of you can decide if you should break up. The best thing to do is to talk with your partner and for the two of you to talk over your feelings about what happened and why to see if you are both willing to move forward together or move on without each other. If you feel you need additional assistance, you could also look into seeking "couples therapy" for further help.
September 1st, 2015 9:23am
Yes. If he's done it once, he can do it again. You don't deserve someone who cheated on you in the first place.
September 22nd, 2015 6:41pm
When one partner in a relationship cheats it is a break of trust. Both the partner's emotions run high and the one who was cheated on has all types of conflicting emotions trying to understand why her/his partner cheated. Questions like, Is it because of me, changes in me, reduced attraction, etc. My personal experience is cheating is because of an emotional disconnection between the two partners and often subconscious hidden motivations. The important step to take is to talk openly about how this happened and to try and see if there is a chance to heal through the communication. Do little things to bring back the trust and it is hard to build trust again. There are cases where one cheats because of lack of emotional connection and can heal, while there are other cases where the relationship may have drifted afar. Take your time to discover your true feelings and communicate with your partner. In the end the decision depends on your feeling on how much you want the relationship to continue and how open your partner is and demonstrates openness and remorse for his/her actions. I hope this helps.
September 22nd, 2015 9:41pm
If he cheated then you should definitely break up.. what they did is absolutely wrong. You wont be able to trust them again.
September 27th, 2015 11:46pm
You definitely should, cause a cheater will always remain a cheater no matter what so i suggest that u do break up with him
October 22nd, 2015 4:25am
I do not feel as though there is a clear-cut answer to this. It all depends on the situation, the person, how much this affected you, and it especially depends on your values. If your partner does not see the problem with what they've done, or does not understand why you're upset/angry/annoyed, breaking up is probably worth considering- because this may happen again. However, if he/she is remorseful, this may be something you can talk about and move on from
October 22nd, 2015 10:09am
yes cause noone could ever change if he cheat one time means we will do it again and again so better to move on
October 22nd, 2015 1:30pm
If you want to give a second chance to see if he/she repent, then go ahead, but if you think its unforgettable. break up
October 23rd, 2015 9:36am
Before you make a quick decision, discuss it with him. Ask him questions to help you understand the situation. when you've discussed it, you can make the decision that's best for you
October 23rd, 2015 3:58pm
That is for you and only you to decide. In my opinion you shouldn't stay with a person if you won't be able to forgive them and let them earn your trust again. You should also think about whether or not the person deserves a second chance.
October 23rd, 2015 8:39pm
what do you feel inside? being an unhealthy relationship will just cause more pain to you in the end.
October 24th, 2015 10:36am
You should talk to your partner first. Don't make decisions when you're angry. Try to calm down first and talk to him/her with an open mind.
October 24th, 2015 11:56am
This is your choice. However, before you come to a conclusion, think carefully whether you believe this person is worth it or not. After all, no one is perfect, people make mistakes.
October 24th, 2015 4:09pm
Only you can decide if breaking up is the best approach if you think that the relationship is not salvageable.
October 25th, 2015 5:33am
yes, cheating is shit man, like that's shouldn't be tolerated, cheating is horrible and it hurts so many people
October 28th, 2015 1:40pm
Ask yourself, would I rather be alone or with someone that doesn't value me?If you find yourself making excuses for why your partner cheated, stop right now. People CHOOSE to cheat. Go separate ways and give yourself a year. Then evaluate the situation.
October 28th, 2015 4:25pm
How close are the two of you? Can you resolve conflict? What is a one time thing or a pattern? Do you know people that have worked through similar things and come out stronger eventually?
October 29th, 2015 5:54am
In my opinion an experience, "once a cheater, always a cheater" so I don't really tolerate that kind of stuff.
October 29th, 2015 8:35pm
it up to yours love and attitude of partner , if just mistake , you can open your heart and forget , you can continue in love , everyone in life have mistake so sometime can forget , but if you cant forget , or your partner dont change , may be yours love have some problem , and think careful if can't resolve is break up can be a solution
October 30th, 2015 12:38am
Breaking up with someone or staying is a very personal decision. If it were me, I would not stay with someone who cheats on me because I feel they would do it again if they did it once. I usually make myself pretty clear from the beginning of any relationship and tell the person if they want to cheat then they are not for me. If they cheat once then the relationship is over. That way if it ever happens, the person is never shocked that we are going our separate ways. Not everyone thinks this is a deal breaker and some couples work through infidelity. Its a very personal decision.
October 30th, 2015 10:20pm
Think about your future, ask yourself many questions. Can I ever forgive? Will he repeat it? Is he worth the pain I took? Does he regret it? And any other questions you see necessary; then you'll be able to judge by yourself.
October 31st, 2015 4:27am
YES. Although I do not agree with the term "once a cheater always a cheater", I do believe the bond of trust has been broken once cheating has been involved, and I think leaving is hard but necessary
October 31st, 2015 4:00pm
Yes, once a cheater will always be a cheater. If he respected you he wouldn't do this to hurt you. I would move on. It will be hard on the relationship if you knew they have cheated.