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My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
BatWings89
January 15th, 2016 7:47am
How important is sexual exclusivity to you? Do you have the will to rebuild the trust, which is hard work? Have you talked about why they cheated? Do they still have feelings for you? All of that are factors that can change the decision. In the end only the both of you can decide.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2016 7:49pm
YES. You should not be with someone who cheats on you. You are way better than that. I think you should breakup
HeartofaPhoenix
January 26th, 2017 10:57pm
Whether you stay together or not is a personal decision and what was true for others may are may not be true for you. In my own experience that answer depends on whether or not you can forgive your partner and if your partner is truly repentant and can forgive themselves.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:05pm
If you can move forward and cope with the impact of being cheated on then its your choice, but they do say once a cheat always a cheat so it could happen again,.
PuppyLove13
September 18th, 2016 7:56pm
Yes if he isn't genuinely sorry or blames you for it or is just being dumb about it.. If they don't immediately understand their mistake, they never will and you will always have to suffer..
ariahhughes
September 23rd, 2016 2:27pm
Definitely, your boyfriend or girlfriend obviously thinks there is someone that can give them better, but he or she does not deserve your time, love and care.
Honeypuffs99
October 1st, 2016 1:26pm
You should have a completely honest and open conversation with them, and then decide if you should break up. If cou can't forgive you boyfriend or girlfriend it is better for both of you to move on, no matter how hard it may seem at first.
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2016 4:46pm
Well, that depends on the situation. Talk to them and figure out all of your feelings and why they cheated on you. After you've talked and you completely understand their side and why they did what they did it will be easier to figure out whether or not you can continue your relationship and make it healthier or if you need to end it.
Jordanc11
October 5th, 2016 12:32am
It depends if you can look past it, there's no right or wrong action , if you can look past it then it's fine
IAmTheOneRealZ
October 9th, 2016 9:45pm
Start by talking to them, tell them how you feel after what they did. Then both decide on what to do
HalcyonPhoenix
October 12th, 2016 10:22am
Definitely. You don't deserve to be with someone who isn't loyal. If they're not satisfied in the relationship, then you shouldn't settle as the second best option!
originalbraveheart63
October 27th, 2016 1:37pm
If your partner has cheated on you then it means that this was their choice. If that was their choice than you should move on and find someone better.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 8:15pm
Maybe you could try talking to them first. Maybe you could work things out. However , trust is a huge part of relationships. So , the main thing to consider is if you will be able to continue trusting him/her. Doing what feels right may be the best option
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2016 5:18pm
Honestly, it all depends on the nature of the original relationship. It's a personal choice but, it's safe to say you won't be able to trust the person the same way. But holding onto them and working through it might work out better! Just consider if you're okay with what happened or not, if you're not you definitely deserve better, wether it means getting your partner to change or breaking it off.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2016 9:53pm
It all depends on the circumstances. Humans make mistakes, and as humans, we should learn to forgive. But forgivness does not mean you still have love. So it's up to you to decide if they're worth it.
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 6:29pm
That all depends on 2 things, quite separately; can you forgive them and can you trust them again. If the answer to those questions is yes, then you might want to give them another chance. But it has to be conditional and it has to be something you have been honest with yourself about. Don't tel them that you trust them, it's fine and you've put it behind you if you haven't. All you're doing then is selling yourself short and everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them, cares for them and puts them first. If your partner compromised all that by going behind your back, have an honest conversation with yourself as well as them to see if there is a way past it for you.
DylanListener
December 30th, 2016 5:03pm
i think that is a decision you have to make yourself and many factors influence your choice like if this is the first time and can you trust them. try weighing up the benefits of being with the person and the costs while considering the fact they have been unfaithful
HeartyHeartfelt
April 12th, 2017 3:01pm
I would say yes right off the bat but I won't assume that I know the situation. You know what went on. Was this person emotionally, mentally, and physically available to you when you needed him/her? Did this person make you feel safe? Did this person treat you with respect and dignity? If yes, then something really wrong happened in the middle that the two of you must discuss. If it can be worked out, great, but be discerning if it happens again. If no, then this person will probably make excuses which is NOT UP TO YOU to fix. No matter how much potential and goodness we see in people, it's not up to us to fix them when they do wrong. The must loving thing you can do for both of you, is to leave.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2017 8:26pm
That's not good. This can be a hard situation for you to be in after this, due to an understandable lack of trust on your side. This is entirely up to you, as you know yourself best. Do you care about him, still? Does he care about you? Is it worth staying in a relationship like that? Is there anything else you worry about to do with them? It's hard to know for certain, but in time you will either forgive them or break up with them. Good luck!
Anonymous
June 6th, 2017 3:48pm
Trust is a huge thing with relationships and if that person even managed to entertain the prospect of going for someone else while they are with you, then that tells so much of the status of your relationship. It's toxic. So yes, break up with them. It's not like break ups are the end of the line. You can take this moment to recover and also maybe you can rediscover and rekindle the relationship.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2017 7:35pm
You should first sit together and talk about it. Was this a situation that unintentionally happened or the other? If you are both able and willing to talk about it with each other then you may come to a reasonable agreement. Whether that'd be going on your separate ways or continue with your relationship. Seeking professional help is also advisable.
BenevolentWords
May 13th, 2017 9:13am
While cheating is the ultimate act of betrayal, sometimes mistakes happen and relationships can be repaired after cheating occurs. Take a look at all aspects of your relationship and decide whether or not it's worth fixing to you.
Suitcase33
May 5th, 2017 11:19pm
I was broken up with before cheated on. If they cheated, they knowingly hurt you. Try to decide for yourself if you see yourself truly forgiving them and trusting them. It will take a lot of effort and hard work and it will be different. Personally, I would not want to stay with someone who knowingly hurt me.
AncientSoul
April 26th, 2017 6:46am
It's up to two things imho, A. Is s/he possibly going to do it again? and why did s/he do it in the first place? I can think of a mistake, unintentional and not related to this person personality, so it's not likely to happen again, but if it was intentional or the personality itself is not honest, sincere, loyal and devoted, and perhaps going to do it again, so it's a no-no for me. B. if A checks out (s/he's good, but made an honest mistake) so it's up to your forgiveness power and span, if you're able to really let go of that incident and totally forgive it, then it's cool, otherwise, it's not healthy for the relation to hold it as a leverage on your partner, to raise whenever you have a disagreement. If you can't let it go, then the relationship won't be healthy if you decided not to break up. Good luck
Anonymous
February 26th, 2017 1:56pm
It's not right for any one person to decide if you should break up but you should take a step back and look at the situation. Do I still love him/her? Would they cheat on me again? How often has this occurred? If they had any respect for me why did they cheat on me? After asking yourself some of those questions, then you should make the decision for yourself if you want to stay with your partner.
creativeStrawberry72
February 15th, 2017 3:28am
When someone cheats, the other partner has trouble regaining trust in the partner that cheated so even if you stay together it is all about if you feel like you can move on from that betrayal.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2017 6:48am
Is this the first time? Are you gonna be able to forgive him/her? Are you sure? Can you move on? . Ask yourself those questions
EveMarshal
February 23rd, 2017 12:26pm
Yes! because its not worth it to fight anymore with a cheater. Forgive him/her then move on. Find a better one that's never cheat! which is honest, faithful and loyal to you.
openyourmindbeforeyourmouth
September 15th, 2016 11:54am
Definitely, You are worth more than any one cheating on you. And I understand that you may love them, but you need to love yourself as well and be with some one who treats you right.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2017 7:55am
Maybe you should sort it out first and then give them a chance to change. If it happens again, then maybe you should.