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My boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on me, should we break up?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 11:55am
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Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 13th, 2015 3:32pm
In my opinion you should take a break.....most times, cheating is a very complex situation for both the parties. Some space may help.
Matthew413
December 13th, 2015 5:00pm
In a moment of weakness, I had cheated on my girlfriend. My girlfriend did not break up with me because she believed that we could work through it. We are still together and recently celebrated our 5-year anniversary. I feel that no one can tell you for sure to break up or stay together because everyone has things they will and will not tolerate. If you feel that what they did is irreconcilable then it may be time to move on. If you feel like you can stay with them, that's okay as well but they need to be patient and work every day to rebuild your trust.
NorthernWayfarer
December 16th, 2015 12:20pm
The answer depends on whether or not you want to keep going and whether you feel you can still trust them.
Hannaria
December 16th, 2015 4:21pm
I would break up. But if you still got trust in him and you think he would not do it again keep going. :) Just make sure your happy with your choice :)
MarkoP
December 16th, 2015 9:08pm
Talking through it is sometimes the best options, you should consider your options. Never choose impulsively.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:15pm
For the best, yes. If both of y'all want to maintain and continue the relationship, then no, but keep eye out on him or her
StormyAngles18
December 17th, 2015 12:18am
Well it all depends on how you feel. Do u feel as if it will happen again? Does it feel like its not worth it? if you feel like the relationship is really important to you and they've proved to you they wont repeat the mistake go for it if you are not sure...step back and think it through, don't rush into anything give yourself time to think about it.
outgoingPlum171
December 17th, 2015 12:43am
Its a personal choice. No one deserves to be treated unkindly and being cheated on is definitely a way to treat someone kindly. I, personally, would break up with them--but it's your decision. I don't know the details on what exactly happened, but cheating is a big trust-breaker.
NeverGiveUpNeverSurrender
December 17th, 2015 2:42am
I think that depends on a number of reasons but what I can say is to listen to your heart :) The first thing might be to do a self-evaluation and talk to your partner about what you both want to have in this relationship. There's also trying to repair your trust in them, are you willing to go through it? Are they also willing to stay loyal? I think the keys to relationships are honesty and trust :)
Anonymous
December 17th, 2015 3:32am
I think so. If someone cheats on you, I dont believe that it was a mistake. However, ask for their side of the story.
Tinkerman84
December 17th, 2015 8:38am
Basically i can't make that decision for you at all. This is a trust issue i can imagine at in any relationship trust is what will keep you together eventually. Through life you'll be facing a lot of temptations from all around. First of all you need to confront your partner, talk this through. Your partner needs to understand in what way this affect you and your relationship. In order to stay together the damage done needs to be repaired. At the end you basically have to decide weather you'll be able to trust him/her going forward without you turning out to be a partner you don't want to be, in terms of jealousy etcetera. I'd say trust your gut on this. If you decide tome on it will hurt, you will be thinking about this and probably not forget either for a while. Eventually you will stop thinking about it for 5 minutes, then 10 the next day and eventually you have a brand new beginning.
MrRoboticWrites
December 17th, 2015 1:29pm
You might want to get some space for a few weeks, let everything cool down. Once everything has cooled down approach them and come to a rational conclusion with them, it might be breaking up or it might not. Ultimately it has to be up to you.
heavenlyWinter
December 17th, 2015 1:34pm
i dont think you should just break up. you should have a conversation to understand his or her reasons. when this happens somethimes its because something is missing...we need to solve it.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2015 11:06pm
This is completely your decision, think things through and then act. You don't have to rush things:)
Jake0952838
December 18th, 2015 1:12am
It is not our choice to suggest relationship outcomes here at 7 cups of tea, but we can suggest relationship advice. My advice would be to forgive, and try to move on. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, it means moving on. I believe that is what true love is.
Skept
December 18th, 2015 12:05pm
If they cheat on you, I would say you need to really think about what they did, and if you love them enough to keep continuing the relationship, but remember they cheated, so they don't love you that much to be with you, and you're not worth it. You're worth someone better.
BeWhoYouAre1234
December 18th, 2015 12:38pm
you should break up. because when someone cheats on you, that means, that she/he doesnt respect you, doesnt love you. but, well, my girlfriend also cheated on me and i forgave her. but after 4-5 months we broke up. and still i feel sorry that i forgave her. i should break up with her in this situation and not after 4-5 months
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 9:31pm
Yes, because you never know if he/she will do it again, they didn't respect you, to avoid getting more hurt than now better end it when it happens
Angellienabilla
December 19th, 2015 4:55am
Based on my past, you can always give someone a second chance. But NOT in cheating. He/she would do it again anytime. The decision is in your hand, It's you who know the best for yourself :) May the good deeds always be with you :)
kindFlamingo34
December 19th, 2015 6:51am
No I would just work though this and be honest with each other and do some games to help you understand more about why thos happend
justanotherfool
December 19th, 2015 8:19pm
It just depends on person to person. i do not think there is a ready made answer for that. Some people prefers to give the loved ones a second chance but some don't. But in my opinion giving him/her another chance if they are ready to admit the mistake, then giving a second chance would be fine. It is just my opinion, I am not a fan of breakups or divorces.
Swifting
December 19th, 2015 9:43pm
There are all sorts of conflicting issues with cheating. But, there is no right or wrong answer if you should stay with someone who cheated on you. They say "once a cheater, always a cheater" but the reality of it is you cannot simply categorize everyone the same way. You may want to consider, "Can I trust this person again?" and "Can I forgive this person for this indiscretion?" and let those answers lead you to if you should remain in a relationship.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 11:32pm
Follow your Heart ! Everyone is human. If he/she rectifies himself/herself then i think you both can go back to being together
Susannah82
December 19th, 2015 11:40pm
You have to decide what will make you happier in the long term. Starting afresh or fixing the relationship. Why did it happen?Was it a one Off? Could you trust them again? Could you be happy with them again. Can you get over what they have done and not constantly bring it up?
AmarG
December 20th, 2015 7:20am
First of all, you both should talk about it. You should discuss the reason behind cheating. And if it is found that you both are not happy with each other then, yeah, you should break up with him/her. Relationship should be based on trust and love. If he/she is not happy or don't want to be in relationship then there is no other way. You can't force someone to love you.
MrWhiteSuit17
December 23rd, 2015 12:53am
Ultimately, it's for you to decide, however, trust is a very difficult thing to grow back. Nothing damages trust like cheating.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 12:33am
I would. You don't need someone like that in your life. You deserve so much better than your bf or gf
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 8:32am
In my personal opinion, when a boyfriend or girlfriend cheats I wouldn't give them another chance. I do understand that everyone makes mistakes and that's a part of life. But the person that you love and that is also supposed to care for you should not to go off with someone else as you two are in a relationship.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 7:31pm
You should talk first of all it is key to understand one another , even though it may be hard you should try and explain things and come to a conclusion together
SacredSimplicity1011
December 25th, 2015 8:41pm
A break up due to promiscuity is a personal ideal. One of the biggest issues associated with cheating is a lost in trust in the relationship. You have to know whether or not you are willing to forgive and forget and work toward building your relationship stronger or if to call it quits and find someone who appreciates you and only you for all that you are.