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My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?

348 Answers
Last Updated: 05/04/2020 at 8:54pm
My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 5:01pm
You can change to a better person or fix the mistakes you made but you can't change their mind.You can try to do better
heatherishere64
January 1st, 2016 3:02am
It should be their choice whether or not if they want to break up with you because sometimes you can't just change your mind that if you love someone or not, right? If you are really wanting to, show them all the cons to the breaking up that they are wanting to do. Be as loving and supportive as you can.
Lalaxoxo
January 1st, 2016 5:47pm
Unfortunately, if they feel like it isn't going well and they don't want to continue further, you need to let go. You need to respect their decision. You can't change them, and you can't change their mind. If they want to leave, they will. The more you try to convince them to stay or change their mind, it will push them away even more which may create an unhealthy breakup which will not be good on both ends.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 5:26am
Communication is key. Ask your romantic partner what it is about you or the relationship that bothers them. If there is something concrete that you can fix, do your best to fix it to preserve the relationship, if it won't harm you in any way. If there isn't, you will have to accept that some things are out of your control, and you will have to let your partner go. (But remember there may be someone just as good for you who wants to preserve the relationship!) Good luck.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 7:37am
First know Its gonna be a bit challenging to change someones mind once they settled on the ideal. If he or she is thinking about breaking up with you, they are obvious not happy in the relationship they are in. And the fact that they want to end the relationship instead of fixing it shows they want to move on. Its pretty obvious you want him/her back soo the best thing you should do is to meet up with this person and just have a honest 1-on-1 talk about how your feeling and how there feeling. Who knows you might find something interesting you didn't know before!
Hotspring26
January 3rd, 2016 7:46pm
prove them they are wrong with their decision. just prove that whatever is the reason for the breakup is not there. and remember, youre awesome!
divinewillpower86
January 4th, 2016 12:36am
If someone asks you, Can you pls tell me the direction to ---- then you can only tell direction. However you still can give some suggestion.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 2:30am
Unfortunately, you can't force someone to love you. It hurts and it sucks, but in the end, it is better than being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you. If it was meant to be, they might realize that they made a mistake, but remember to put yourself first and don't spend your days hoping for that. And remember for every door closed, another one opens.
findthebeautythatsleft
January 6th, 2016 3:08am
This is circumstantial, but in most cases: don't try to change their minds. This is happening for a reason, and it's awful but you'll be okay.
Lifeislearning
January 6th, 2016 6:12am
Well, if you think you can reverse the situations.. Then you must apologise them first and ask them why he/she is wanting breakup.. If their is problem about understanding, compatibility or habits.. Then you can apologise for a new fresh start to change and improve the things... You can make changes and develop better understanding with time to overcome problems which are the reason for breakup.. And if their is some other issue.. You can talk to them without leading any fight.. And try to solve the matter
simran14
January 6th, 2016 10:53pm
you cant force them.....and if its your fault only then u can mend it but maybe if they just dont want to stay then they arent worth working on
Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 11:16pm
Establish why they want to break up with you to begin with, and see if those reasons can be addressed and worked on together.
StarEars
January 7th, 2016 7:47pm
Recognising their autonomy as an individual is important, in fact this is important if you you want to foster any kind of relationship with anyone. If they decide to break-up with you it might because they see it as a decision that best "fits" the circumstance. We all love being in control of situations, however, at times, there are things that are beyond our control. Accepting this might reduce the scale at which the effects of your boyfriend or girlfriend's decision has on you.
kianaranae0
January 7th, 2016 9:01pm
Try to talk to them about it. Find out what had happened for them to feel that this is the right option.
Geminisecret
January 8th, 2016 3:13am
just dont MAKE him/her change their mind, just try to tell him/her that u love him/her, that if you both try, the relationship can work out, its hard but its better than let him/her go. sometimes you gotta do your best for your love one, and this is one of those moments. talk and try.
Friend20
January 8th, 2016 3:26pm
At first I don't think so... if someone is lacking interest in you can stay with you for much long... But Still... Try to mend up things.. try to do what they love to keeping aside your interests Only for a while But beware! If it continues still then they are not ryt choice to be with.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 4:55pm
If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with you, you must consider why would you want to change their mind? Why be with someone who does not want to be with you. Each of us deserve someone who loves and cares for us and actually wants to be with us.
ThatSweetGuy2511
January 10th, 2016 7:18pm
For whatever reason they wish to break up with you is on them. In my experience, there's no guarantee that you can change their mind 100% but it's definitely not impossible. If there's any problems in a relationship then it's probably best to talk it out face to face and see how you both can resolve this situation. But be open about it and get ready to hear answers you'll probably don't want to hear, and get ready to save your relationship.
gracefulCat64
January 13th, 2016 11:06am
First understand that what makes him/her willing to break up with you . Then accept the problems he/she is facing and talk how can you both come over it . And if he/she still wants to respect then respect the decesion .
wonderfulWaterfall86
January 13th, 2016 3:16pm
You can't. You have to accept it. Do not make empty promises. That will only worsen the situation.
BatWings89
January 15th, 2016 3:04pm
You can ask them why they want to break up and if possible change the things that are an issue. This does not guarantee that their mind will be changed. You could also ask yourself if you want to be with somebody that does not want to be with you.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 5:24pm
Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Just remember no matter what life goes on and you don't need a man or woman to make you happy. You have yourself, the most important person of all.
Soarfree
January 16th, 2016 7:44pm
I am sorry to say this but most likely you cant. Unless you guys sit down and talk about the problem.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 1:54am
Don't force a relationship
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 1:28pm
You need to let them have some time. and talk to them. Be honest about how you still feel about them.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 8:59pm
I would first want to find out why they wanted to break up with me before deciding if it was worth the effort of trying to get them to change their mind. Does he want to break up because of something he is doing and the trust and integrity of the relationship is gone or is it something that I am doing that is causing him pain or grief. This is why rational communication is so important. Making assumptions without any proof to back them up is hurtful to both of us, especially if they turn out to be untrue gossip. If he has met someone else and feels he is now in love with that person, there is absolutely nothing I can do to force him to love me instead. As a matter of fact, the more that I point out all that I have done for him, all the things I have forgiven him for and the more of the past I throw in his face, the more he is likely to believe he is making a better choice by leaving. No one wants to be constantly reminded of their faults every time there is a disagreement. If I am at fault, if my personality seems to make it look like I am flirting or that I complain about everything and appreciate nothing, then I would hope, depending on the time invested in the relationship that both of us, if we still have some feelings for each other, would consider couple counseling. If one person is adamant about wanting to leave the relationship and unwilling to help the other person have some kind of emotional closure by explaining why they are leaving, I would hope the person being left would consider individual counseling to not only work through the grief of being left behind, but to also learn and accept what their part was in the relationship, even if it was allowing bad behavior from the other person to increase throughout the relationship for fear that the person would leave if criticized. There are two things to remember. First, people treat us the way we let them, usually because it is the way we have been treated all of our lives. Secondly, we cannot force anyone to stay, to change their mind, to love us, we can only love ourselves enough to build a support system to help us get through all the traumas of life. Someday he or she may mature and realize what they passed up, but by then, you may have also matured and are with someone who can see your true value and worth.
electricHug43
January 23rd, 2016 10:52pm
Show them you love them by being there for them at all times and tell them how you feel everyday. :)
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 11:13pm
The answer to this question honestly depends on the reason why they want to break up with you. However I will say this, one thing you could try is to have a heart to heart with them and tell them that you didn't mean to hurt them. the thing is though. you have to mean everything you say and you have to be honest with them
crownrosemary
January 24th, 2016 2:57am
Maybe you should try to ask them why do they want you to break up with if they can't do it themselves.
FaithGreen16
January 27th, 2016 8:35am
part of being in a relationship, is that you both love each other. If love is only coming from one side of the relationship then maybe it is for the best that you break up. you need to respect each others opinions and decision, and support each other through what ever the outcome is.