My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?
348 Answers
Last Updated: 05/04/2020 at 8:54pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Changing their mind should not be your priority. Clarity is key. The two of you need to discuss what has occured to how the situation has become how it is, in order to establish a conclusion. Being it a breakup or staying together.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2016 9:58am
Sometimes changing their mind may not be the better option. Go through the relationship, good/bad, happy/sad. Healthy? If you feel as though it is not a positive relationship or that it is going anywhere than maybe changing their mind may not be the best.
It is not about changing their minds, It should be more about correcting what ever is wrong, listening and then, doing what is best for you both.
You can't keep someone who doesn't want to stay. If you try to stop them from leaving, resentment will grow in your relationship and it will just get toxic for both of you. Be brave, let them go and remember that you are not defined by other human beings.
You can't change their mind -- not if they want to change it themselves. If things are not at the breaking point yet, sit down and have an open, honest and calm discussion with them. Talk about your concerns and address each other's concern, and try not to turn the discussion into a fight or argument. If he/she has made up their mind for a breakup, respect their decision. Don't contact them for a while. It's hard, but you probably both need a bit of time to think it through and to calm down. Remember a breakup is not the end -- life will either bring you two back together or guide you to find someone better. It will be sad, and it will take however long it's necessary for you to recover. But you WILL get through it. My heart goes out to you
You shouldn't want to. You should want to be with someone you don't have to fight for and reciprocates your affections.
most of the time you cant. and the hard truth is, you dont really have the right to. just like nobody has the rght to force you into a situation you arent comfortable being in. people are always learning about themselves and their wants and needs. always. and sometimes people just come to understand that things arent going to meet whatever needs they have. it sucks. and it hurts. but the key thing to remember is that its not your fault. again, just like its not somone elses fault if you have certain realisations about your own needs
You can't. It's there decision to break up with you. Maybe you could still be friends but for closure purposes ask them why they wanted to break up with you.
If he/she can't appreciate who you are and wants to leave the relationship, it is best not to flog a dead horse. It will save you heartache and not break down your self esteem
Anonymous
April 16th, 2018 10:23am
Try to find out the reason of breakup wish. If the problem is a thing that can be solved, do it. And if that doesn't work, try sorting everything out, have a talk , have a conversation about possibility of you still being together
one of the best things to do is to have a conversation with them and talk out the situation together.
Sometimes you can't change their mind. Sometimes they are set in their ways and there's a specific reason to why they want to break up. Sometimes it doesn't even involve you, it involves them and possibly it involves them and their issues. It's hard; but all you can do is show that you love them and are there to support them. If that isn't enough then sometimes their mind is already made up.
You have to let them go try to be there for them and show you still care about them and see if they come back if not it wasn't meant to be. You never want to have someone who does feel the sa.e about you as you do them.
If he or she wants to break up then I believe you should let them go. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't feel the same way towards you. It's unfair to the both of you.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 8:20am
Talk about what is making them break up with you! Talk things out and straighten things out, start from there.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2016 11:13pm
If someone truly wants to end their relationship, you should respect their feelings, and go along with it. Remember, your feelings aren't the only ones.
You shouldn't try to change his/her mind, it's their choice and you need to respect their choice. If they don't want to be with you, it's better that you're apart.
It depends on the reason they want to break up. Sometimes we need sometimes to digest things around us and not rushing the decision making. I guess give it some times and don't try to push ourselves onto the other person would be the best option.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 1:02am
Talk with them, that is the most simple way it can go. Talk to them about why they want to break up, and if they are persistant on it, let it go. Don't forge something that isn't meant to be either.
Well as hard as the situation may seem, there is really no way to change someone else's mind. Only you are responsible for you and your actions. You can't be responsible for someone else's. The best thing you can do is to talk with the person you are with about the way you are feeling. YOu will have to accept whatever choice it is that they make. In the end, the best you can do and hope for is that you are able to remain friends no matter the situation and do your best to move forward. And to also know, that this to shall pass and there are plenty of "fish in the sea"! So keep "fishing'!
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 5:55pm
When your girlfriend or boyfriend wants to break up with you, then you can't make them stay. Every one in this planeet is free. You shouldn't change their mind. There are ways to fix the problems in a relationship, but no way to change someone's mind.
I went through the same thing before with my ex. We weren't meant to be and It shouldn't be forced, its okay
You be respect and love them regardless, and respect their decision. Be mature and just show them how much you love them and Im sure they will realise it themselves. Don't worry bro if she really loves you and is worth it, she will stay trust me. There were a Million times i thought my girlfriend was going to be leave me, but she truly loves me and we are still together
Anonymous
August 15th, 2015 12:51am
You may have to try understanding why your girlfriend/boyfriend wants to break up and discuss solutions by working together harmoniously. If they do not want to fix things however and as hard as it might be, you have to allow them that space to consider if the relationship is worth fighting for or not.
communication is key in any relationship, when something goes wrong, is up to both to fix it. first thing would be then, sitting down and talking with your partner, see if the reason they want to break up for is fixable, or if its worth fixing. but, most important of all in my experience, never compete with anyone nor change yourself in order to keep with someone you love; even if you think that way you would stick together, losing yourself in the process is not worth it
You can talk to them about how you feel. At the end of the day, it's their decision. You are strong, and can take care of yourself.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2015 2:31am
Ultimately, you can't. Accept the choices they made, they will have to move on and live with them. If it's meant to be they will come back. If you love something, let it go, if it comes back, it's yours. The same can be applied to people. Be at peace with yourself and with them. If they jump ship and never return, it's their loss.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2015 1:19pm
look for your expectations with you. give love and support as well as care. find out reason why they want break up and if you really want him/ her back try to make them happy if possible
You can't. You can talk to them and try and come to an understanding with them, try and compromise with them and see if they are willing to give you another shot but if someone has made up their mind, you can't change it. You can accept it and although you will be upset and hurt by splitting up, you won't feel that way forever.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 2:59am
Tell them how much you care for them. Talk through it with them. You cannot force them but only show you care about them and are willing to stay and support them through anything and everything
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