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My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?

348 Answers
Last Updated: 05/04/2020 at 8:54pm
My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
MotherWillow93
June 27th, 2015 4:03pm
You can't make someone stay if they don't want to. But someone who doesn't want you isn't worth your time.
thesecretkeeper1115
June 27th, 2015 4:05pm
if that's the case, let her/him decide. You may try everything but if she/he has made up her/his mind, it will be ineffective. Do what you do best. Just be yourself. Don't try so hard. Remember, you cannot control other people, but surely, you can control how you think and feel about things.
frothySmiles42
June 28th, 2015 12:12am
you can't change someone else mind if they want to break up with you maybe its best to walk away because if they don't want to stay in the relationship with you then it won't be worth it in the long run
Anonymous
June 28th, 2015 5:47am
Maybe it is best not to change their mind. If they don't feel the same way, they shouldn't feel forced to be with you
Daishy
June 28th, 2015 9:21am
first thing first, Why do they want to break up with you? that's the first question you ask yourself or him/her. there's got to be a reason. and it depends on you to fix that... if the problem is from you, fix it; it might be the beginning of something wonderful in your relationship. :)
alfonsojon1997
June 28th, 2015 5:47pm
Well, I wouldn't say "change his or her mind", it's more of trying to discuss the issues at hand. I don't think making a failing relationship work by force can resolve anything, as the issues will come back later and the situation will repeat itself. I'd say just be honest with your feelings with him or her, and take things as they come. If he or she does break up with you, you can know you tried and attempted to resolve things.
AcornCactus
June 28th, 2015 9:41pm
I don't think convincing them not to is the best thing to do here, only because they might stay in the relationship even though they don't want to. This can lead to a lot fights/or even cheating. Seriously, though.
coolgirl69
July 1st, 2015 1:51am
be yourself, show them what they'll miss, bring out the good in your realtionship. and if they don't accept why should you be with someone that wants to leave?
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 10:15am
Changing your (boyfriend/girlfriend)'s mind depends on you. To change someone's mind, you need to have a great place in there hearts or you won't even reach talking to them. That's what you need to change your boyfriend or girlfriend's mind, you need to show them how much they need you and how much you love them and you care about them. And with that you will be able to have a great place in their hearts and they will listen to you and never leave your side.
BLMlove15
July 1st, 2015 10:44pm
You can't unfortunately. Trying to change his/her mind won't be the most beneficial thing for you. You can work out how to react to the situation. Don't be afraid to talk to him/her, and reach an understanding about why the breakup may occur.
kashu510
July 2nd, 2015 2:14am
Unfortunately, when someone wants to breakup there is no convincing their minds. It means they have been thinking about this for awhile. I believe if they want to breakup, then breakup on good terms so you can remain friends. And you never know, in in the future you may end up back together again.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 4:21am
You can't. You can only choose your actions and reactions, respect them enough to let go, respect yourself enough to not settle for someone with who decide not to want you in their life
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 7:20pm
Ask them why they want to break up, make them express their feelings. Talk to them and see how they feel.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 10:10pm
You don't. If they have made their decision, and you change their mind they are either going to be unhappy in the relationship, things will be completely different or both. Maybe in the future you'll be able to try again because people grow and change, but if they aren't feeling it anymore, you can't change it.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 12:12am
In my experience, once someone has made a decision like that it's very hard to change their mind. I think the best advice here is to focus on you. Do you want to be with someone who isn't so sure that they want to be with you? You deserve the best, and to be loved fully for who you are.
neverendingMelon46
July 3rd, 2015 6:17am
Listening, talking, discussing the issues between you. Make all your feeling clear and tell them what you want. Figure it out between you so that you know what the problem is and how to fix it.
LoveYourself21
July 3rd, 2015 12:54pm
The mind is a creative thing and is really smart but sometimes, it can be wrong. Try to treat them the way you would treat you. Don't act fake,but act you. Flood then with memories, and If it doesn't work out, there out if there mind. ;)
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 3:11pm
You should ask them how can y'all relationship be better for each other so it can be healthy for one another.
Stainedglass
July 4th, 2015 2:33pm
You can't, unfortunately. You just need to become accepting. If they're not willing to be in a relationship with you, it's not worth trying to force them to stay in one, you'll just both be unhappy.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 4:50pm
you can't change their mind and you shouldnt try. what you can do is understand why they want to break up with you and then according to their answer you can try to help them or make it easier
Mimii1
July 4th, 2015 6:37pm
No matter how much you want to change someones feelings, it is not healthy. Love comes naturally and placing restrictions on it or trying to make someone stay when they do not want too is not liberating. Rather, take time to heal and do things you love.
car18gc
July 5th, 2015 5:16am
you can't control their feelings, but you can try and confront them about that and try to change it.
stewy
July 5th, 2015 7:13am
make them want to stay with you, make you impossible to live without. make them the centre of your world as if all your life revolves around
Lucascondee
July 5th, 2015 4:49pm
At first, you need sit and talk to to he or her, ask why they want break up, what's going and what can be solved and improved to going back normally their relationship
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 4:50pm
Sometimes it's not possible to change their mind, people can be very set in their ways especially once they've made their mind up. Maybe just remind them of all the good times you've shared together and explain that their happiness is what matters to you more than the relationship?
Iam80Here
July 5th, 2015 4:52pm
You can come to an understanding with them before you decide to break-up with them, there's always a chance that things will revive. Remember, better late than never. Be absolutely honest to yourself and your mate and set a dialogue with your mate so that you can talk about all of those arbitrary or the-usual-matters-that-you-come-across when you are in a relationship. You can always work it out, if you truly love your mate. However, at one point, you also need to prepare for the worst-case scenario too if things go nuclear and you have gone to every extent to fix them, but you just could not. Choose what's best for you, and what's best for your mate.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 11:57pm
You really can't. It's their decision to make, and honestly if you're planning on keeping them with you, act more considerate towards them; shower them with love.
ShadowsWillScream
July 6th, 2015 11:49pm
Talk to them about all the funny, sweet, cute, and romantic memories you've made with them. They might think about what they'll be missing in the future, someone who was memorable enough to spend time with :)
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 8:09am
The best you can do is ask them to hear you out, express your emotions and feelings in hope that they will understand if you want the best out of your relationship. Ultimately it is important that you mutually respect and understand each other in making decisions and not all choices can be changed by you. Good luck!
Lucie27
July 8th, 2015 1:25pm
It might be useful to sit down with them and talk about whats on their mind and if there are any issues in the relationship that could be resolved. Its really really tough to come to terms with, but ultimately it is their decision if they want to end the relationship.