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My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?

348 Answers
Last Updated: 05/04/2020 at 8:54pm
My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 6:50pm
In life you can not control another person. As much as we would love to, because we just want to protect ourselves from pain. You can not tell someone to change their mind that is their decision as painful as that is to accept. Listen to their reasons as to why they want to end your relationship. Try and work out if you can fix those issues together. But in the end not all relationships work out, but it doesn't mean you will not find another.
Gilbertron
July 8th, 2015 9:50pm
Tell them how much you love them. Tell them you never want to leave them, that they're your world and you can't live without them.
intellectualvoice29
July 9th, 2015 4:16am
You honestly can't, if they aren't happy you can't keep them in a relationship, and if they realize oh man i really miss you then you guys could work something out im sure.
NDS369
July 9th, 2015 10:36am
It's time to give each other space, for the more you try to hold on tight the more they drift apart
warmPumpkin67
July 9th, 2015 12:46pm
If someone wants to break up with you it means that he is not happy or that he doesn not love you like he used to. Sometomes it is better to let people we love go and if they are happy than we are happy, too.
boo
July 9th, 2015 12:48pm
You can't. People end relationships for various reasons. In my case, I broke up with my boyfriend because he was too possessive and controlling. He tried to stop it by saying that he is like that, but he will try to control it. I kind of knew you can't because he seriously can't. he is like that, I don't want him to change for me, if he wants to, he will
Personalitikhum
July 9th, 2015 2:39pm
It is such a sad situation but there is nobody in the world that could change someone else's mind. If you did, it is manipulation rather than changing their mind. The best possible way, although hard and painful, is to change oneself.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 12:36am
It's always good to talk to each other and to work on your common problems, but in my opinion there is a point where you have to let somebody go. Even if it hurts really bad in that moment, it's still the better thing to do in the long-run. Trying to convince somebody who's already done with your relationship in his mind, is not only nearly impossible, but it's also very hurtful and it will just postpone the breakup.
Imhereforyou88
July 10th, 2015 4:19am
Show them the best im you let them know that you care and you don't want to end your relationship.!!
MathewTheBull
July 10th, 2015 6:58am
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 3:17pm
Changing another person's mind is not an easy thing to do and often times, its not the right thing to do. You wouldn't want to be with someone that truly doesn't want to be with you and has to be convinced otherwise, so would changing their mind really benefit you? Think big picture and focus on what's really best for you at this time.
heavenKoala44
July 10th, 2015 8:30pm
i don't think you can't change your mind, you can't force someone to stay. but you can do your best to demostrate her/him how much you care and love him/her.
DarkestBeforeDawn
July 11th, 2015 3:35am
The unfortunate truth about this one is that you can't. They aren't happy and, chances are, there is little you can do to change their mind. It is already made up. It hurts, but this is the truth more often than not.
butterflykisses27
July 11th, 2015 5:53am
You can ask your partner why they wish to break up with you. They must have their reasons. Its best to talk through things in a calm and rational way. No finger pointing or getting heated. This never helps when trying to sort through things.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2015 3:38pm
if they want to break up with you let them, there obviously not worth your time because there not the one clearly, just keep looking for the right person, you cant change someones mind
Anonymous
July 11th, 2015 8:19pm
yes that depends on them you can't never change their mind …but you can always tell them how much you love them and how you feel ..and always be responsible of your own actions and what you have control of. you can't be responsible of their actions and mind. only they themselves can if they want to give you another chance maybe cuz they still love you or cuz they still care for you.
lyricalRecipe90
July 11th, 2015 10:24pm
By making hum/her realize that you truly love him/hee and you need him/her as he/she is an integral part of your life
Avery27
July 12th, 2015 4:04am
If your boyfriend/girlfriend would like to break up, there is nothing you can or should do. A relationship is between two people, and if you're the only one putting effort into making it work it simply will not be enough. You are strong, and it is by far the persons loss.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2015 7:25am
Sure, you can get creative and romantic and try and make things work, you can beg and you can plead and hope that they change their mind, but what you have to realise is that sometimes it's for the best. Sometimes it's best for both of you to just let go.
Stormearth
July 12th, 2015 2:24pm
A break up should be a persons own opinion and decision. You can try to talk with the person and try to figure out what's the reason.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2015 4:56pm
Honestly that is one of the tough things about relationships. You can't control them. They are based on the feelings of two different people and when one person doesn't feel then anymore then it tends to cause some tension. The best thing is to give them their space and see if they come back to you. If not, it wasn't meant to be and you'll find some one better.
friendlyEars70
July 15th, 2015 12:25am
This is a question I feel like so many people want the answer to. You love someone, you want to be with them and the thought of losing them is scary. So naturally, you will want to do whatever it takes to keep them in your life. But, to be honest, if you've talked to your partner about this and you know that they want to move on…You owe it to yourself to find someone that loves you as much as you do them. I know a breakup can be hard, but trying to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you right now can be harder. What people need to remember, in my opinion, is that a breakup can be a learning experience. It might sting at first, but there is a lot you can take away from it.
silverSound86
July 15th, 2015 2:17am
I can have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her what I feel about her and how much staying with her means to me. I need to ask her why she feels the need to break up with me. When I have listened clearly and calmly and have understood fully, I can ask her to give me an opportunity to rectify my mistakes over a specific period of time. If she doesn't see a change in me during this period, she is free to break up with me. I commit myself more to the relationship and invest in it. However, if nothing works I let her go free.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2015 11:29pm
I believe you should focus on yourself. If they want to leave you, let them. It isn't always easy, but you shouldn't have to persuade someone into being with you. You deserve better!
Anonymous
July 17th, 2015 3:43am
If they want to break up with you,find out the reason first.What's causing their desire to split with you?Is the problem caused by them,you,or both?Can this problem be fixed easily,if so,are you both willing to work on it as a team?If not,then it is really time for a breakup.To have them change their mind in an enviroment where no improvement is taking place then it's unhealthy for either them or yourself to stay in the relationship.The question is whether or not you SHOULD change their mind.
SubhoListening
July 17th, 2015 1:57pm
You can't. Be supportive of their decision and tell them you only want what is best for them. If they realize the fact you are not trying to hold them back by force, they might not leave yet.
scarlet25
July 18th, 2015 8:03am
Communication is the key to relationships according to me. If you feel like there is still chance to save the relationship then do whatever you can, talk to them, ask why things aren't working out. Try solving the things /together/ because relationship requires both the members to be happy and working together. But in the end never be afraid of ending a relationship. Because yes things don't always work out with some people but it will always work out with the right ones.
BriannaBee123
July 18th, 2015 10:17pm
The best desicion would be to do what you think would be best for the both of you ! If your partner is not happy in the relationship and wants to end it then that will be their desicion to make . You shouldn't try and overwhelm them by pushing them to do something they don't want to do .
Anggi
July 19th, 2015 4:59am
Maybe try and talk to them about what causing them to want to break up with you. If it's something that can be fixed then you can try to fix it, but if it's something that can't then maybe it's better to let it go.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2015 10:01pm
It's probably best to leave them be without trying TOO hard to change their mind. You can, however, have a talk with them about why they want to break up and if there's anything you two can do/work on to stay together.