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My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, I don’t want him back and i’ve Listed all the flaws and bad things about him and our relationship but I can’t seen to get him out of my head! What do I do?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 10/08/2018 at 4:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

April Zamzow, CSW, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

There are many times in our lives when we could use an ear to listen and help us through the things that we are struggling with. I can do that.

Top Rated Answers
July 10th, 2018 2:45pm
Be grateful for the good times you had with him. He will always be a part of you, but you may want to allow him to sink and start to allow other happier parts of you to rise.
July 16th, 2018 4:52am
Well it's only been 2 months .. it takes time to move on . If I were you I would just let life happen
April 3rd, 2018 7:53pm
Find activities that you're willing to try. Fill your head with as many things as you can, get involved in big projects, this will help with keeping your mind busy.
April 30th, 2018 4:22am
This, unfortunately, is normal. When you've been in a relationship with someone and you've seen such a great side of that person, it is hard to get over them, even if they give you countless reasons to. Two months may seem like a long time but in the grand scheme of things, its not a very long time; don't feel guilty about still thinking about your ex. When your ex begins to creep into your mind, remind yourself of all of the reasons that the relationship was not a good one or like you said, his or her flaws and faults. In the meantime, try staying busy and distracting yourself with healthy activities. Try going out of your comfort zone and meeting new friends or turn to something like working out or your career/school. Time will heal you and because of the beneficial habit you've taken up, you will be better off than before :) Hope this helps!!
May 7th, 2018 8:15pm
Time heals all wounds. Break ups are always difficult 'cuz you've got history with him. Take some time to explore yourself and focus on your own needs. It doesn't help to quickly "rebound" and replace the void 'cuz that just perpetuates an endless loop that can become a habit. Just do you for awhile. Enjoy the freedom for a bit.
July 9th, 2018 2:40am
For all of the flaws you have listed, I wonder if they are the only traits you are holding onto. Are there also positives about your ex you can't seem to throw away with the rest? Seeing as a person cannot be divided into pieces, you may still love parts of them, memories you made, but you cannot tear it a part from what is an obvious obstacle in the way of true happiness with that person. You must understand that when things are meant to work, they just will. There will not be many flaws to count in a situation that is good for you. But let's say you can't get that person out of your mind for a different reason. Maybe one of their flaws was being too controlling or commented a lot on your behavior. Well, sometimes long after something is over, that there is a change is felt throughout the dwelling in you it used to have. Adjusting is key and natural to everything we pursue after the fact. Whatever it may be keeping you from letting them go... ultimately, if you truly have made up your mind about it, that should be that. If there is something in the way of that, be honest with yourself, settle it, talk about it with someone, contemplate it, and again begin the process of moving forward, unburdened. You can achieve it. When something is truly decided, I'll tell you, say in this instance, even if you listed ALL of the positive things, it could not persuade you. Be sure in your decisions and reasons. Be secure. Know that everything will always work out, anyway.
October 8th, 2018 4:50pm
I know exactly how you feel. When I try to get certain people out of my life, I do the same but it's hard because the impact they made on you may have shaped you into the person you are today. What I encourage is to instead list your short and long term goals and stick to them. Short term goals can consist of getting a good grade on a test or even try to workout that night. Long term goals can consist of going to college, or even getting married. There, you'll have something to focus on and know that this small bump in the road will not come in the way of your hopes and dreams.