My ex thinks I mentally/emotionally abused her I loved her and still love her It's been 3 months. We share the same friends I accept its over.I'm grieving but it kills me she thinks I abused her Help?
Last Updated: 12/30/2019 at 4:00pm
Traci Seery, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.
Top Rated Answers
The best way to get past the elephant in the room is to just talk to your ex about it. If you don't understand what you did to her, she seems to have a pretty good idea. Just ask her if you can talk and ask her what you did that made her feel this way.
Sadly, if you know for a fact that you weren't mentally or emotionally abusive toward her theres not much you can do. Her perception of what happened is just that "her perception" If you know you didn't do those things than don't let it bother you. As long as you know the truth who cares what others say or think. the truth is the truth. People can fabricate stories all they want, but it doesn't change the truth. I say move on and move on knowing that you are not the villain she's making you out to be.
It sounds like your definition and her definition of "abuse" are at odds. Have you tried talking to her? Asking her what she considers "abuse"? If no such abuse ever took place, perhaps her perception of abuse is skewed from previous relationships or experiences. On the other hand, is it possible that you said something to her that you wouldn't consider abusive, but she does (e.g., "Wow, that was such a stupid mistake!" -or- "You're always dropping things, butter finger!"). If you genuinely cannot understand where the disconnect is coming from, it may be time to talk about it.
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