Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My girlfriend of 18 months broke up with me by email. It’s been a year and I’m still angry. Should I tell her how angry I am?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2021 at 2:54am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
April 24th, 2018 5:11pm
YOu must not its her life let her leave the way she wants dont force her as you loved her before and letting go someone shows how strong you are.
May 2nd, 2018 11:42am
it's a bit due but, yeah sure why not. if it'll make you feel better to discuss with her that you had expected or deserved a better closure and a different way of ending such a relationship than just via email, then do it, but also try not to be hurtful or aggressive, it's about expressing yourself and how you're feeling not about throwing blame or anything else.
May 14th, 2018 4:25am
If you tell her how angry you are, do you think it will help after? or will you feel guilt ? Think it through, mean stuff flows out sometimes when we are angry
May 15th, 2018 9:24am
You cannot control the emotions of others, only your own. Dealing with your anger is important as part of the closure, whether telling her how angry you are may not resolve the issue, your closure is important and it this is part of this closure I would support this, however, in isolation, this may not assist with closure.
July 9th, 2018 12:42pm
If it has been a year already, I think it's time for you to slowly move on. She probably has moved on as well.
January 13th, 2020 7:59am
Sometimes you have to let bygones be bygones. It’s hard but the anger you feel is natural. Moving on will be hard, but you will feel so much better in the end. I was broken up with through a text my ex sent to my mother. I was angry for nearly 3 years. I’m happier now that I have stopped pining on the past. Love is a strange and difficult thing to understand some days. You’re young with a lot left to live for. Enjoy it and live it up!
December 15th, 2020 6:41pm
If it helps you get over your feelings of bitterness, it may be the right thing to do. The girl may also be feeling guilty but afraid reach out, so it may help her to make peace with her conscience. When approaching her, remember that; 1. 18 months is a long time, she may have moved on with her life and you establishing contact may disrupt her current relationship. 2. She may get defensive and it may escalate into an argument. 3. Breathe and calm down before speaking to her. In short don't go shouting or using violence to express yourself. 4. You can have a neutral third party in sight so that the situation may not get out of hand.
June 1st, 2021 2:54am
Telling her about your emotions would just hurt you more now since she probably isn't even thinking about it. Break ups hurt a lot and change the way we look at relationships but you mustn't hold grudges against someone who is dealing with their own issues and can't love you the way you deserve to be loved. Someone will come along when the time is right and treat you so much better. You don't need to waste your emotional energy on someone who didn't even have the decency to face you and broke up over email. You should focus on channelling your anger in trying to become the best version of yourself and become so happy on your own that you don't even have time to think about her.