My partner and I keep breaking up and getting back together again. I don't know what to do any more.
144 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2021 at 4:38am
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Take some time apart to cool down and think things through. It's normal to have disagreements, but breaking up constantly over them is not a good sign. Identify what's causing the breakups, and see if they can actually be solved. If you are breaking up for the same issue each time, which you had already talked about working it out without success, then that may be a sign to call it quits and start moving on.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2015 2:59pm
Try to understand what both you want and look forward to and then decide how helpful it has been for your personal growth.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 10:01am
It's time to move on. It's hard, it hurts, and it seems like it can work, but ifor you and your parter keep breaking up, its apparent that you both need to go work on loving yourselves and if it works out down the road awesome! But life is too short, and there's so many people with values that match up to yours. Give yourself a break from the Rollercoaster and even if it hurts, go work on the person you want to be for a little while.
Ah, okay! Let's break this down ^-^ What do you like and enjoy about your guys relationship? Feel more than free to vent and reminisce.
weigh the pros and cons of this on again off again behavior. ask yourself is it time to let go. is it time to move on? are you hindering your meeting that someone special?
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 8:40am
I've been there before. I thought she could be the one. Sometimes love is such a strong feeling that blinds us from the truth. If you want to stay with him/her together in future, sit down and communicate, If not, tell him/her the truth. Love is letting the person we love to be happy. If you can't let that person happy, then stop the pain. If you can, solve it with him/her. It's not easy, but it's possible to end the chaos.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2016 7:00pm
Fights in a relationship are normal. But breaking up and getting back together frequently is however, not healthy. It doesn't lets your mind to move on, and keeps going back to that one person.
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2016 2:31pm
Tell them how you feel about it. If it's not something you want then just block them out but only if you want to!
If that's how you want to live your life and all then go for it. But if not then i suggest that you guys talk it over and decide what to do, there isn't much else, having a deep conversation about what to do should be the first step so that you're both on the same page.
If your partner and you keep breaking up and getting back together. Perhaps you need to ask yourself what lead to you guys breaking up? I have two really good friends who have been in your situation. They would get close and then break up and continue the same cycle. If you guys are breaking up it's clear that you are not meant to be together. Perhaps you need to spend some time apart from this partner and avoid contact so you can gain some clarity.
If you break up and make up repeatedly, before you ask yourself why you make up with your partner, you need to ask yourself why you break up. If one of you lacks respect for the other and mistreats them, then the relationship is not healthy. You can choose to be back with them if you truly believe that they are worth it, but if there is a clear problem with a clear solution, you should avoid having a relationship together until the problem has been dealt with.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2016 10:10pm
If the relationship keeps promoting a break up, and if the causes are recurrent, then it isn't healthy for either party and it's time to separate for good.
You need to decide if you really want to be with your partner. If it's on and off it may be a time to just stand back and really take a good hard look at you twos relationship
Anonymous
April 24th, 2016 10:35pm
either work out your problem maybe even with a therapist or it could be it is not a stong relationship and maybe you should see new people.
Getting back together again and again is indeed a positive sign. Maybe you need to work on what leads to the break ups. Work together and find what triggers this. If there are unresolved issues from the past that keep repeating, it is time you concentrate on reducing them if not able to erase them. Since you are able to bring yourself up against it beautifully. But if the issues are new every time, then it probably means you need to spend more time together and focus on understanding each other better.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 10:11am
every relationship have some or other problem but this doesn't mean that u should break up try to figure out what is the real cause of your break ups... generly its insecurity bt still try to figure it out and talk to your partner about it
I have been in this situation. Thinking of going through with the relationship because I didnt want to waste the time and emotion I invested. Assess the situation. Are you still happy? Is the relationship toxic? Will you really be okay with this kind of set up in the long run?
Be true to yourself. Trust your instinct. Trust yourself and your decisions. Most of all, reaffirm your love for yourself. You'll know deep inside what to do.
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 8:04am
It's called love. If you are fighting with someone and also you care about a lot for that person, so you are in love with that guy. Further, about fight "where is the fight, there is a love".
From what I have seen, Its often because both parties are in denial about what they really want.
99/100 if its off and on its best left off. You broke up for a reason if that reasons is cleared up okay maybe, If its not or if its something that doesn't go away. It will only repeat again and again.
Anonymous
January 24th, 2016 11:38am
I recommend you to talk about it with him and give some time to see if it works. If not I think you should end it because I know you deserve better and sometimes you should be your own person. Everything's going to be alright :)
Remember why you break up, then remember why you get back together. Once you have, decide which one of those is better for your life. Love yourself and good luck x
Perhaps its time to take a break and find your own identity again as hard as the transition could sometimes be.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 10:25pm
I think you need to break up permanently. The reason of your getting back every time can be out of habit.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 9:56am
Keep going. You will get used to it. Its not a big deal. everything will be ok. Its common among teenagers.
Are you happy in this relationship? Because if so then maybe it's the best choice for you. But make sure you are doing this for you and not others
Well Honestly If you still love your partner, give him another chance, if you don't its time for you to move on
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 12:16pm
Know the reasons why this keeps happening. Own to your part of it and assess if the relationship is lacking commitment or if it is worth staying for.
The big question is do you still want to be with this person? Most people I know that have revolving door relationships are generally afraid or don't know how to be alone.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 6:59pm
You are afraid of new relationship. That's why you always end up with your partner. And if you are breaking up that much it means something is has to be fixed
It’s up to you as always, but think, if this problem continues, is it really a good choice to stay with someone who will break up over and over again? It’s hard to give them up and push them aside for sure. But if they won’t give you the same time and effort to staying with you, then it really isn’t the best option to stay with them. This could go on forever and ever. If you do decide to breakup, always consult with friends or family, because a lost like this is a tough one, and you have to refrain yourself from getting back together.
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