My partner and I keep breaking up and getting back together again. I don't know what to do any more.

141 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 6:59pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Nora MacQuarrie, MEd

Psychologist

Calgary counselling psychologist assisting clients in times of stress, change, loss, worry, sadness, confusion, distress, and crisis.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 8:17am
This is an unhealthy relationship. I call this the roller coaster. One day, you're fine. The next, you're broken up. This will eventually end and it usually isn't by staying together.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:30pm
Stay apart this relationship appears to be toxic. And are you committed to each other don't stay if you're unhappy
StormyAngles18
December 17th, 2015 12:46am
Communicate with your partner about how your feeling and explain exactly what is going on in your head and see if they try and fix it if not they resort to needed measures.
shiningCherry13
December 17th, 2015 5:46am
Getting back together again and again is indeed a positive sign. Maybe you need to work on what leads to the break ups. Work together and find what triggers this. If there are unresolved issues from the past that keep repeating, it is time you concentrate on reducing them if not able to erase them. Since you are able to bring yourself up against it beautifully. But if the issues are new every time, then it probably means you need to spend more time together and focus on understanding each other better.
KRN
December 17th, 2015 10:04am
Have a serious talk with that person.reevaluate your relationship, and if things go wrong, enough! You shoukd think and stop for a while.
CuddlyOasis98
December 17th, 2015 4:55pm
If you guys love each other than keep fighting for your relationship but first see what's creating the problem between you two and try to solve it.
BeWhoYouAre1234
December 18th, 2015 12:32pm
well, just think if you love your partner and if your relationship cost that much for you, to resistance those feelings, when you break up. I also were at the same situation. I was torturing, because of my relationship and one day i said "it must be over! I will break up with her. this relationship is so dangerous for me and my feelings." we break up and tbh i'm really happy now
sereneOcean99
December 18th, 2015 6:51pm
is it always for the same reason or do you just constantly fight in order to find a solution you first have to analyse the problem itself i would spend some time alone thinking if this relationship is worth fighting for if after thinking for some time you come to the result that it is then keep fighting and try to tackle your problems but as i said first find the problem and then find out if its worth fighting for or not hope this helped and have a nice day :d
Ricky13
December 18th, 2015 11:03pm
Ah, okay! Let's break this down ^-^ What do you like and enjoy about your guys relationship? Feel more than free to vent and reminisce.
Nightrain2001
December 19th, 2015 1:13pm
Talk to your partner about how confusing it is to be braking and getting back together all the time
comqlicated
December 22nd, 2015 4:04am
Breaking up and getting back together is a sign of a unhealthy relationship. My last relationship was just like this, we would break up weekly it was crazy. All it will do is cause stress and unhappiness in both of your lives and you don't want that right? You deserve a healthy and loving relationship with the partner of your dreams instead of trying to fix a relationship with someone you're obviously not meant to be with no longer.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 3:26pm
Have you talked to him about how you feel? Try to give him space to open up or be honest on how you feel
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 8:10am
Try to talk to him about your relationship.If he seem to be negative to all of your porpuses you should really think breaking up with him for real.
alwaysbelieve8
December 24th, 2015 6:40pm
Relationship can end up as love and hate..but what truly matter is your happiness and peace of mind.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 11:01pm
if your relationship keeps going on and off, take a moment to think if he/she really loves you or if you really love him/her
miraculousRecipe28
December 25th, 2015 5:03am
Leave the reasons behind those are causing you break up, but hold on to the reasons those are bringing you back together again.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 8:30am
Personally if a couple keeps leaving each other and getting back together I would say that they are not right for each other. Ina relationship, there is supposed to be communication and a connection with each other. If you keep leaving and coming back it doesn't seem like the bond or connection is very strong including communication.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 10:11am
every relationship have some or other problem but this doesn't mean that u should break up try to figure out what is the real cause of your break ups... generly its insecurity bt still try to figure it out and talk to your partner about it
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 7:27pm
Talking generally solves every problem without communication we wouldn't be able to know what other feel , maybe you and your boyfriend should have an honest talk and see what both of you think
joyfulApple58
December 27th, 2015 12:09am
Figure out what the real issue is and work on it from there. If it an issue that can be easily soved, Great! If it's not it might be a good thing to end the relationship.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 3:55pm
In times when you are having second thoughts about your relationship always ask yourself, "Is he/she worth it?" and think of the reasons why you gave your relationship another shot.
generousTouch42
December 27th, 2015 6:14pm
You and your partner keep getting back together and you don't know what to do? How do you feel about that?
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 2:01am
Is there a reason why you keep breaking up? Perhaps that reason needs more attention and is something you could work on?
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 3:48am
Talk to him and decide if you are going into this relationship or not, but you cannot be breaking up and getting together all over again so many times
OceanBreeze
December 30th, 2015 3:00pm
If I were you, I would ask myself: "Is it worth the pain of a heartbreak?" If it's not, then why stay with your partner if you just know that y'all are possibly going to break up again?
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 6:24pm
Well if you are looking for a serious relationship, i think that you should call this off. If you really love this person talk to them and tell them how you feel about the relationship but consider their feelings too. And in the end if it doesn't work out there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
kindBeach39
December 30th, 2015 6:29pm
I have been in this situation. Thinking of going through with the relationship because I didnt want to waste the time and emotion I invested. Assess the situation. Are you still happy? Is the relationship toxic? Will you really be okay with this kind of set up in the long run? Be true to yourself. Trust your instinct. Trust yourself and your decisions. Most of all, reaffirm your love for yourself. You'll know deep inside what to do.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 9:47pm
Well in this case try facing him and talk with him try to find out what's wrong and if you can make it right if you don't have feelings for him you don't have to stay with him it's not right for both of you
professionalRainbows11
December 31st, 2015 2:09pm
I don't think you are going to like what I am going to say, but I think it's obvious the relationship doesn't have much future. I think you should pull back, and meet new people.
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 8:04am
It's called love. If you are fighting with someone and also you care about a lot for that person, so you are in love with that guy. Further, about fight "where is the fight, there is a love".