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Should I break up because my partner is getting hurt by my mental disorders?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 09/21/2021 at 10:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
December 14th, 2015 7:21pm
You can discuss your worries with your partner, but if you just break up "for them" let it be their desicion, not yours. You can tell them what you're worried about, but if they are strong enough and don't mind, please don't push away your partner. You deserve support and if they are strong enough is their call.
June 8th, 2015 12:48pm
It's best to talk to your partner and find out what works for the both of you. It's a very challenging thing to deal with a mental disorder for yourself and anyone supporting you through it. If your partner understands the challenge and is willing to stay with you despite knowing how hard it will be then good for you both. Otherwise give them an out making sure there will be no guilt attached so that they are not staying because of any other reason but to be with you through this. It looks like you understand how hard it is on them so it depends on your partner if they are willing to do this with you. Talk to them, it is your best option :) I hope things work out for you well.
January 19th, 2016 12:08pm
This can be considered. but of course, it's a personal decision. I made the decision but it turned out to be selfish and a projection of my own insecurities, and feeling inadequate to be loved. people who are ill NEED love too
July 12th, 2016 6:25pm
That depends on you. If you can still work on your mental disorders and your partner forgives you and is supporting you along the way, perhaps there is hope in the relationship. However, if the problem is severe and both parties get hurt, then perhaps it is for the best to part ways
October 25th, 2016 5:44am
Mental disorders are something uncontrollable. Breaking up will only make these situations much more problematic.
April 11th, 2017 5:09pm
When we get hurt physically, we go to doctor, take medicine, follow the right diet and wait till the physical wound get healed, In the same way,, mental disorders are emotional wounds,,, with proper guidance, love, support and care mental disorders can get treated,,, yes this is hard for anyone who stay with someone with mental health issues, to deal with it,,, but with professional support and constant love it is very much possible to affectively deal with it, No need to break any relationship because of this difficult phase,,, love and affection has the power bigger than anything else, be it disorders,,, physical or mental,,,
March 14th, 2015 3:44am
If you can work things out, then think about doing so. Partners who truly love each other will always be there for each other and help one another in their time of need. However, you must do your part to seek help too. Consider seeing a psychologist even though it can be an extremely hard thing to do. Improve yourself in order to get the best out of your life, and also for the betterment and happiness of your partner as well. I'm sure they would love to see you at your best! Good luck!
July 18th, 2017 8:26am
I think it is up to your partner to decide if they can no longer handle that hurt or not. If they have stuck around through all of it so far, they must really care about you. They can determine for themselves when all of it becomes too much for them. Enjoy the love and support for now! Don't worry about it.
November 11th, 2015 6:16pm
No....try to relax yourself...get some out to him about your problems..he might help u or get u some help..just talk..
June 27th, 2016 6:49am
It really depends on your partner. To be together is for better or for worst so if your partner wants to be there then maybe you should let your partner do so.
July 13th, 2016 5:49am
Your partner must decide as it is concerned for him/her. If your partner feels comfortable in relationship with you then you don't need to break up. And as you have mentioned mental disorders it must be proven by doctor and psychology specialist. Sometimes a person may just overthink or mistaken normal conditions
October 30th, 2018 4:34pm
If he is supportive but still he is getting hurt to see you mentally not well, then you should not break up. It's natural for partners to feel upset or get hurt to see their partner not well mentally. But they can try coping techniques for it and give you more support to recover from it. If he/ she loves you then they can do that for you. And if you feel doubtful that you can't see them hurt, talk to him, share with him/her about why you feel like breaking up your relation, work on it. If you both feels it's not going to work then you can take decision of ending it. But again remember break up will cause you more added pain to deal with your mental disorder.
April 21st, 2020 7:26pm
no you should speak with them first and see how you can resolve the issues, might also help to speak with a dr together. always important to talk things out before making big choices. after that if things look like they need to end then at least you know you both gave it your all and tried your best. you should both feel comfortable by the end of your talk to make a clear and right choice for both of you. having a mental disorder does make things a bit more hard to make the right choice. talking it out is always best.
September 29th, 2020 4:45pm
It depends largely on what is happening specifically between you and your partner. It should not be a decision made by one party or the other, but should be discussed between the two of you. If you feel like you both need space in order to be better in your own lives, then I would consider it; however, if just one side feels like this is an issue that needs to be debated, then I would recommend discussing what you and your partner could do together in order to be better off, both together and as individuals. If that means getting more help outside of the relationship, or if it means contributing more to their mental health personally, it needs to be a decision you come to together. You are a couple, and therefore, your long term decisions should come from both of you, not just one of you.
January 11th, 2015 4:03am
Communicating your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with the people closest to you is always a good first step when trying to decide how to move forward in a relationship. Try talking to your partner about what they want, but remember that you should always put your mental health first.
July 6th, 2015 12:15pm
If your partner truly loved you, he/she would accept you as the person you are, and support you unconditionally.
December 15th, 2015 7:53am
Based on my personal opinion no. You have mental disorders you need someone to be there for you. As it may sound selfish but you need to be and feel better. If you break up with him or her you might say that you still have your family but it will never be the same. Sometimes it's much easier to talk to your bf rather than your family.
December 21st, 2015 11:32pm
You can discuss your worries with your partner, but if you just break up "for them" let it be their desicion, not yours. You can tell them what you're worried about, but if they are strong enough and don't mind, please don't push away your partner. You deserve support and if they are strong enough is their call.
July 12th, 2016 5:43pm
Nope. Because if he/she is your partner then must help you with it. But if he/she is getting hurt because of it, still you can't make up your mind alone. Talk about it with your partner
September 21st, 2021 10:18am
Not necessarily! Making an impulsive decision on your relationship can be more harmful to both parties. A decision on where you stand in your relationship might be best made after a calm conversation between both people. Your partner might be hurt because they are unable to help you in your journery to recovery and not because they want to move away from you. There are many aspects to being with you that your partner might want to be around as well, as you are an individual who is more that just your disorder. Removing you and your partner from a supportive environment might not be the best solution unless you can discuss it and decide that it would be healtier to work on yourselves seperately. Seperation from your loved ones or constant sacrifice is not the only option.