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Should I go back to him/her?

206 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 11:13am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, MSc Psychology


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
June 3rd, 2017 5:08pm
This is a kind of question where another's answer doesn't matter. This is your choice and your decision. If you were to ask this question to me though, I would ask if he/she has hurt you in the past and why you would consider going back to him/her. For starters, it's wise to list the pros and cons of the person and what your heart is saying to you. Will it hurt you more if you go back to him/her? But this is something you should decide, not others. Follow your gut.
June 11th, 2017 6:07am
you should go back to him/her only if they are treating you with love and respect , if the feelings are mutual and you can't be without them stay together .
July 7th, 2017 12:32pm
It does depend on what happen between you first time to split up. What was the reason why you left each other and what you did not like about them.
July 9th, 2017 2:52am
If you really love them and want to be with them, then yes. If things didn't work the first time, doesn't mean they won't a second. Who knows, it could be a way better relationship the second time around.
July 13th, 2017 6:58am
It's your choice. Ask yourself, you really want it? And, will s(he) appreciate it? Because you're in the best place to know why you should go back to him/her. If you feel you should, then Yes else No. So, it's your call. Just do what seems better to you.
August 9th, 2017 4:21pm
This is something that only you can decide. There are many ways you can go about it. You can write a list of pros and cons, you can follow your gut feeling. Just don't feel pressured to make a decision right away. Take as much time as you need to make up your mind.
August 11th, 2017 9:55am
Time heals all wounds, right? Maybe all you two needed was some time apart to do some soul searching. Or, it could be that you are both more mature after some time went by
August 12th, 2017 3:12pm
Dependent upon why you guys split apart in the first place. If they lied/cheated or did something to break your trust, you must think very hard about how long and what they would need to do in order to gain your trust back, and talking to them about your feelings helps you realize if you really want to get back together or if you just may feel guilty for leaving.
October 19th, 2017 9:12pm
Does this person make you happy? Or are you just missing the thought of them that you had in your head? Sometimes the thought of someone is better than the reality of being with them. You tend to fixate on the positive parts of the relationship, but remind yourself of the negative. Remind yourself of those times when you felt like you needed to leave, you wanted to leave. Why was that? Yes, you might feel empty now, but are they doing anything to keep you from feeling empty? Are they putting in an effort to show you they miss you? Is it worth it - or are you just infatuated with the idea of them?
October 22nd, 2017 12:25am
Should I go back to him/or her? Why did you leave them in the first place? Do they deserve to have you back in their lives? Some people make mistakes and deserve second chances but once that mistake is repeated it becomes a choice.
November 1st, 2017 4:47pm
Should you go back to him or her? Well... in my opinion you left them for a reason, go back and take a good look at that reason. Has he or she cheated, lied to you, hurt you (emotionally, physically or mentally), taken advantage of you, pressurised you into doing things you do not want to do? if your answer is yes then love do not go back to him or her. I know it my be hard but if he or she don't treat you right they aren't right for you. You need to know your worth so you will know how you should be treated.
November 8th, 2017 7:08pm
Forgive once....forgive twice after that DO NOT go back no matter how much you want too. If people make the same mistake more than twice they will not change !
November 16th, 2017 3:35pm
No. Returning to a partner you've recently been fighting with/have broken up with will only cause negatives. You ended things for a reason, and those reasons will continue to occur if you let them back into your life.
November 17th, 2017 5:19am
A broken heart can never fully go back to the one whom spoke it into existence. You could go back but chances are it will be less than the first incarnation of the relationship.
November 17th, 2017 10:08pm
Depends, honestly. On a whole lot of things, like why you broke up, who broke up, and has he or her moved on with a different people. We usually obsess over the past because of our selective memory. We only remember the good stuff, and forget the bad stuff. So on lonely nights the happy memories haunt us, if you beleive that all the bad stuff was less than the good stuff and your feelings are strong enough to overpower you, then it isn't wrong to give it a shot, because otherwise you'll just agonize yourself. But you have to be careful, and set some ground rules before the makeup. Try not to be ruled by passion.
November 24th, 2017 2:21am
if you was on a break then feelings shouldn't drift as easy, maybe think about moving on as problems will only persist
December 6th, 2017 9:14am
It depends on your situation. I believe you should do what will make you happy in the end. Focus less on what others tell you to do and more on what your heart, soul and mind is telling you to do.
December 15th, 2017 12:44am
It depends on what they did. Reflect on what happened between him/her. Truly look into the situation and decide if you want that. Do not go back if they are hurting you physically or emotionally, though.
December 20th, 2017 3:29am
It depends on what they did and how you feel. If you truly love them and are willing to forgive them, then it's up to you. But, you must put a lot of thought into it, in order to do what is best for you.
December 28th, 2017 2:29pm
Think about the reason you are not together firstly. Have they noticeably changed if that was the reason? Did the problem soothe down? Will the relationship be healthy? Do you think he/she would make you happy? Do you see them being a good impact in your life? Ask yourself these questions and decide. Remember if the person is toxic then you can meet someone else, there are 4 billion people in the world. Have a good day!
January 5th, 2018 4:13pm
Depends why you left him or her in the first place or why they left you. If they supposedly cheated or something then dont go back, don't let your feelings get the better of you. However if things weren't working out and you ended it and you still have feelings ask yourself what would be different this time.
January 13th, 2018 1:04am
Its up to you if you go back... Ask your self did you have more good days than bad and if the good outweighs the bad the reconsider and try to work it out.
January 13th, 2018 2:32am
If you have to ask yourself if you should go back... then you probably shouldn't. Think about the future and ask yourself is you can see yourself with them.
January 18th, 2018 8:40am
it depends on why, and what your emotions are. You also need to make sure that they too are worth the forgiveness and understand the mistakes they made.
February 7th, 2018 7:28pm
the biggest question to ask is what brought you both to breakup in the first place? was it something you can live with knowing it might happen again (cheating, etc)? are you both willing to resolve the issues in your relationship that caused you to break up? it takes 2 to have a relationship and if the relationship was never healthy to begin with or was only one sided, that might not change, no matter how much you want it to
February 8th, 2018 3:28pm
yes if he\she has realised their mistake but don't do the mistake again and again always be smart enough to judge!
February 9th, 2018 10:30am
No not now make him or her know your importance. that is very important in realtionship now a days what i thought
February 15th, 2018 6:04pm
It depends. If the reason you broke up was bad-timing, lack of growth, misunderstanding, or lack of communication, these are all things that you could very well change and have grown enough to make amends and have a good relationship. It really depends on the individuals, and if they have thoroughly dealt with the issues that lead to the breakup in the first place, otherwise you may end up in a self defeating cycle where nothing has changed. Ask yourself, why did our relationship end, have we both made the appropriate changes and grown enough to get past these issues? What is this relationship worth to me and how will it better us both as individuals?
February 21st, 2018 7:11pm
Was it broken off for a good reason? Or a justified reason? Do you think it might happen again or was it a one time thing? Most of all, will it cause you any pain if you do or will it help you?
February 22nd, 2018 3:50pm
No, you shouldn't. There is a reason why you guys broke up and you should always remember that to prevent ending up in the same situation again.