Should I stay with my husband who cheated with a much younger friend?
Last Updated: 09/22/2020 at 1:06pm
Johanna Liasides, MSc
I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.
Top Rated Answers
Do you think it's something you can forgive. If not I would move on. If you can't forgive him and remain in the marriage you will hold it against him and most likely not notice any efforts that he makes to better and change himself.
Do what you feel is right. If you feel you should stay with him stay with him. If you feel like you should move on then move on.
To answer that question, thoroughly consider what happened. Ask yourself if you have forgiven him for what happened? Take the time to consider how you truly feel. Was the friend someone you was also friends with? Consider how you will be financially if you all separate or divorce. Discuss what happened with your husband without being judgmental; truly listen to what he has to say. It also should be determined if he wants to leave you. Once that has been established, the two of you all should see a therapist to help get to the root cause of the infidelity. Relationships can be rebuilt after this type of incident. It really depends on whether it is a deal breaker for you. The fact you asked the question shows you are uncertain. The age of the person does not matter. Infidelity hurts regardless of the age. If there are children involved, the affect it will have on them should also be considered. What happened is painful but try not to make a hasty decision.
No. Cheating is a very shallow act and as long as your husband did it consciously, it gets difficult to put your trust in him. If your husband did not care enough for you to be cheating with a younger friend shows that he does not respect you enough. You deserve to be exclusive. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be loved by your husband and if he can't do that, there is no reason to be living with him. Furthermore, it should be him leaving the house, because he was wrong. Even if you do give him a second chance, trust him for real, he might do well or he might take advantage of this chance and cheat again and this time it'll break your heart worse.
Its a complicated situation. Probably yes and probably no. See, loyalty plays a pivot role in a relation. You can have a long talk with him and talk things out seeking as to why he did that and how would he feel stepping into your shoes in this situation. See if you guys can work out a healthy conversation where in he accepts his mistake and shows promising signs to work on it. If nothing results to be fruitful and he seems to not to be working on himself then its best to leave him for your own happiness.
I do not think that anyone can appropriately and effectively engage with your situation better than you can and I think that it is your decision to make and that it is safe for you to do so as long as you are aware of your own strength and self worth, remember that you do definitely have a support system here at-least, whether you choose to leave or stay. I imagine that what you're going through must be heartbreaking and extremely difficult but, you have reached out for help, a sign of strength and so, I think that no matter what you choose things will get better for you.
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