Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated?

231 Answers
Last Updated: 08/17/2019 at 1:46am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Terri McDermott, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, I'll partner with you to improve your mood and your life in a nonjudgmental and supportive way.

Top Rated Answers
Caiellan
May 24th, 2016 8:14pm
Usually, yes. Being honest and truthful is very important in the maintenance of a relationship. Also, you have to put yourself in their shoes. Would you like to be lied to about something? Of course, if you want to avoid certain negative consequences such as a break up or a fight that you think would lead to nothing, you can hide it. It all depends on you and your situation. Would you do it again? Is there any unsual reasons? (etc.)
MariaCuddleBunnyCx
May 31st, 2016 11:17am
Every relationship is built on trust so you should. It's better if you tell him than for him to find out himself.
SmileyPita
June 7th, 2016 6:37pm
Yeah you should, you will feel better and coming with the truth it´s always better than keep a lie for yourself, also ask yourself why did you cheat and evaluate if you are feeling happy in this relationship!
Yupanqi78
July 5th, 2016 1:49am
If it a one time thing, perhaps no. If it is something that you plan to continue for some time, yes.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2016 11:45am
Yes, you should. It won't only relief the burden for yourself, but it will also be the first step towards honesty.
cosyheart21
September 17th, 2016 11:30pm
Communication and honesty are the most important aspects of any relationships. If you don't tell him that you were unfaithful, it's very likely that he will find out anyway. And if you own up to what you did, and told him yourself, it will speak volumes on whether or not you value your relationship, as opposed to having him find out eventually on his own.
TheTripleS719
September 18th, 2016 6:26am
Yes. Give him the same respect you'd want from him. If he had cheated, you'd want him to be open with you about it.
amayacloud10
September 25th, 2016 6:46pm
Always be open and honest to prevent any drama or negative feelings about yourself. I would straight up be honest and tell him everything.
CalmingCoffee89
September 30th, 2016 7:53pm
Being open with your partner is a key sign of strength. If you're able to confront issues together, truthfully, it will be better than hiding this.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2016 3:25pm
I think it depends on the situation (how long ago/what exactly happened/where was your relationship at) but I usually believe honesty is the best policy
Anonymous
October 6th, 2016 1:22pm
Honesty is the base of relationships, I think you should talk to him, and accept the consequences of your acts.
BlaireMack198
October 8th, 2016 3:21am
Honesty is the best policy, even though this could end a relationship it's always good to remember to never keep secrets from the other person. I know from experience that secrets can cause rifts between people and ruin friendships, relationships and trust.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2016 4:11am
You should think how it would make you feel if you did tell him or if you kept if from him and choose what to do based on that.
braveTouch10
October 12th, 2016 9:20am
Yes.you should tell.say him about everything . why you cheated .how you did that..and you should tell about his fault
KindBean2002
October 12th, 2016 5:07pm
Yes, you should. I think you should do it in a respectful way. He deserves to know, although he probably will react very strongly to the news.
originalbraveheart63
October 13th, 2016 1:54pm
Yes you should, the worst thing you can do is to hide it from him, hiding it will hurt a lot more than telling him.
SheyIsHere
October 13th, 2016 10:23pm
Yes, because a painful truth is better than beautiful lie and it is very difficult to live and to hold lies. Whatever may happen, deal with it. At least you have been truthful to your self and to him.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2016 4:55am
you should definitely have a talk with him. Honesty is one of the most important keys to a relationship, you wouldn't want a relationship built with lies should you? It's always better to say the truth wether it's good or bad because if he doesn't hear it from he might feel like he can't trust you anymore if he finds out through someone else. This way if your honest with you can tell him how you feel and why you did it and things nights just end in a good term.
Gat89
October 22nd, 2016 6:33pm
That's a tough one. But if you intend to take the high road, you must make the difficult choice of disclosure. I guess he deserves that and the consequent choices.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2016 12:11pm
Yes, he has the right to know that you cheated on him. He will obviously be mad, but he still has every right to know
Anonymous
October 30th, 2016 7:57am
The key to a successful relationship is honesty. Telling the truth will make you feel at ease and if he still forgives you thats wonderful.
ElliotIsGoingPlaces
November 5th, 2016 6:55am
Yes, you should. It is extremely important to be honest with your boyfriend, because he will need to know all these things that happen in your life.
Milesss
November 9th, 2016 1:59am
Yes, you should. As someone who has been cheated on, it hurt A LOT to know that when they cheated, they didn't let me know. One of my boyfriends told me if I were to cheat, to tell him, and we would talk it out. This was because he believed in words. I do not know your relationship standpoint, but I do know that you are in the wrong and he should know.
ca2listen
November 12th, 2016 3:23pm
Yes. Relationships must be based on trust. Not just for your boyfriend's sake, but for yours too. Keeping something like that secret, it doesn't go away. It will eat away at you, which will sabotage your relationship either in the short term or the long term. Being honest may cause a breakup, but unfortunately, there is no win-win option when it comes to cheating.
RainyDaysLover
November 20th, 2016 3:12pm
The best answer would be yes, to tell him the truth, but I recognize that the fear of losing him might stop you from doing so. But think in it as doing it for yourself, don't think in the consequences, leave it for a bit later, you should first think that if you tell the truth, you will be showing true regret to yourself as well as being honest with yourself, and even if things do not endup the best way, you have personally grown to be someone better. Not someone better to please others, but someone better for yourself.
Espirit203
December 30th, 2016 7:29am
Yes , despite how hard it is a honest relationship is always better. Explaining to him why you cheated is helpful and if he is commited to you he will stay
Anonymous
February 16th, 2017 1:06am
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships. If he finds out later it could be ugly or worse if you wait.
Youcount
February 23rd, 2017 10:29pm
Yes. I think that trust is VERY important in a relationship. You can not have a relationship without being honest to each other.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2017 12:50pm
If it is bothering you then you should, if you don't tell him that there is a chance that he will find out by himself somehow later on in the relationship and that will destroy all elements of trust. furthermore. By telling him you are showing that you are sorry and that he can trust you, since you are doing it out of your own free will and not telling just because he asked you to.
LittleMissJoy
March 4th, 2017 6:09pm
This can be a tricky one, especially because you know it's going to shed anger, pain, sadness and everything else that goes with cheating on a person. I always think about that I would like to be told the truth if I was the one who was cheated on. It's never easy coming to terms with your partner cheating but if they own up for the mistake and are genuinely sorry about it happening then you can work through it. I think you should tell him....