Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 6:52am
I would say YES right away! This very feeling would drain you out of constant guilt consciousness. Also, it's not fair enough for your boy friend to be unaware of this. Not opening up initially might have undesirable effects i the future.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 1:29pm
Well it's good to be truthful ,but you need to be strong for what ever after effects of saying a truth
Anonymous
March 11th, 2018 7:29am
Yes, A healthy relationship starts with communication. If he no longer wants to be a part of your life, then now it's just a life lesson and something you may need to work on.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2018 5:50am
You should. As hard as it may be for you, he needs to know the truth before he finds out another way and thinks that you lied to him and wanted to keep it from him. Telling him shows that you feel bad and can't hurt him by not telling him.
Just flip the coin, if he were you and you were he, would you want him to tell you? He deserves to know. Just know, a sad truth is better than a happy lie.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2018 3:00am
yes, have him find out from you rather someone else, he will be pained either way but less when its directly from you
It sounds like you're experiencing some guilt and want to share this information with him. I think being honest with him would be best - maybe telling him can be a way for you to start having conversations that might help you navigate the relationship?
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 2:42pm
Be honest. This is the best you can do. Then he'll decide if he still wants to be with you or not. But as an advice... don't cheat again. It's a very awful thing and I can relate based on my experience. I didn't feel good when my ex told me that.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 12:09pm
yes i think you should tell your boyfriend you cheated on them its better to hear it from you then from some on else
Anonymous
April 18th, 2018 10:40pm
If you think that he is your boyfriend you should have a real relationship with him. Cheating may be a mistake but the best think you can do is telling him the truth. He may be disappointed and lose his trust on you but you can try to expand the situation.
Anonymous
April 20th, 2018 6:26pm
Yes, he might even forgive you. Lots of people prefer to know what is going on but be sad than to be oblivious to the things going on around you and be happy. Wouldn't you rather be happy in a world where you were never lied to?
Yes.. Its only fair because you would want him to tell you that he did if he ever did rather than he find out from someone else
Yes, honesty is always a key component in relationships. If it breaks your relationship, that is always okay.
The answer to this is tough since we fear losing the one we love over a mistake, but put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to know? How can you be sure that wouldn't happen again if you don't reach out and communicate. Things happen and most of the time can be repaired, but it is really fair to allow the person you have cheated on to make the decision as to what they are able to take. I am not saying it will be easy, but it is the fair and honest way. I would suggest if you choose to be honest, plan a time (or even a therapy appointment) to give the news so that it is as gentle as possible.
Witout any doubt you should.You were in a relationship with him, and thus he has the right to know.Hiding it will make things worse if he gets to know it from any other source.The best thing would be to tell him everything as soon as you can and apologise wholeheartedly. Hiding it and lying about it will be of no good. It'll affect you both at one point or the other in your lives if you do so.So tell him as soon as you can.
Yes, if you hide it from him he will probably find out and it will end up worse than if you are just honest and tell him the truth. He might be mad at first but he will probably appreciate your honesty more than you hiding it from him and him finding out.
Yes, he has the right to know but if you loved him you wouldn't cheat on in the first place. But just tell him work it out
Communication and trust are the peanut butter and jelly of any relationship sandwich. If you lose trust you lose communication and vise versa. If it was to be then you’ll make it work with him.
Yes. It would be the right thing to do. What if he cheated on you and didn’t tell you. At least your being honest, honesty is a lot gain in a relationship. Hope it works out:)
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2018 12:01pm
For a better relationship, i think yes. But you should end up your relationship with the other man. Just say you are very regreting what you do. I think honesty is very important in a relationship
Yes. To be honest, cheating is increadible disrespectful. I believe you did have a reason for it. There is no reason at all to cheat, it just a act of cowardness. You should tell him right away.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 10:51pm
If you take your relationship seriously and expect a future with them, I think so. Building a relationship with lies does no good. And even if you don't want that, it's still wrong to lie because that person trusted you and it's unfair they have a certain image of you which is untrue.
Yes - honesty is the best policy, and owning up to your mistake is better than having him find out on his own.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:36am
it may make you feel guilty nonstop and wear down on your mind a lot... telling him would most likely not end well, but telling the truth would give some type of comfort. there is no right or wrong answer, really... both situations have a bad ending. do what you feel is right
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:55am
Yes, of course. Dishonesty is never good in a relationship, and chances are he will eventually find out. It's better to just be truthful and tell him now.
Its totally up to you.. to know how he would react and if you really do love him i think being honest is the right way
Anonymous
May 31st, 2018 2:54am
Yes you should, because it will most likely always lie on your conscience. You don't want to end up going down the relationship longer with him without him knowing. If he ends up finding out later down the road he may feel betrayed and then those years neither of you can get back. Whether or not he stays with you or gives you another chance afterwards would be entirely up to him.
Being truthful and honest are both very important to maintain a relationship. Personally I do not approve of cheating and I would say yes, you should be honest as even if you lie to him now, you won't feel good and there are always consequences and ways of things going back to him. Allowing him to find out from other is more hurtful than learning the truth from you.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 7:46pm
Honesty is the best policy. Keeping something like that from him is not smart. He needs to know, whether it will hurt him or not.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 12:59pm
It would be wise to be as honest as you possibly can. If roles was reversed you must think if you would want him to be honest with you.
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