I wonder what you are feeling at the time when you see his pictures and stories? its not uncommon to want to know what the ex is doing but really it comes down to why. Are you still in love with them ? Do you want to try and get back together ? Are you jealous they might have found someone or are happy ? really I think right now its a good idea to focus on you rather than the ex and decide what you want in your life, and perhaps start making some plans for that direction
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This is totally normal, but extremely harmful to your own mental health. The problem with social media is that we only put our best, happiest and brightest moments. We are particularly susceptible to harm of this effect when we ourselves are in a bad place because we get an extremely skewed perspective that everyone else is 'so much happier and more together'. Breakups are really tough for everyone, but they can also be the most perfect and beautiful excuse to be a little selfish and just focus on you and what makes you happy. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity and you'll be surprised at how much you can love yourself when you learn how great you can be :)
No, it just brings up old feelings and doesn't allow you to move on from the relationship. Seeing what they're up to every once and awhile is fine, especially if you are still friends. Otherwise, it just makes the breakup more difficult for you.
It will cause you stress, and you will keep your mind on your ex-partner and their behavior. In my experience, if you don't give yourself a break from this, it will be much harder to get over the break-up. The best thing you can do for you to heal is to go 'no-contact'. Ask your friends not to discuss your ex with you, remove/block any notifications from them, block yourself from being able to look at their online life. Do this for at least a month or so to give yourself the chance to heal some more. It will be very tempting to contact them, but isn't it more important that you can get past this? Good luck and take care! You can do it!
It's normal to still want to feel connected to the person you spent so much time with. Many of us have resorted to spying on an ex significant other or friend in order to be close and keep lookout. Going from being the first to know something to the last is hard to adjust to. It hurts to think of them moving on, but it feels even worse when we witness it. Think about your emotional and mental health and reassess whether or not this is something you should keep doing. Although, by asking this question, it seems like you may already know the answer.
Always keeping up with what they are doing will only cause you more pain. It's best to just try your best to let go even if it feels like you are going to die. Think about it, out of sight out of mind. If you don't keep up with them, then you won't know what they are doing, and therefore it will save you a lot of tears and pain.
do it if you want to. do as much as you want and one day you'll get bored and realise this is so nonsense and that will be the same day his name doesn't effect you anymore.
You shouldn't be spying on your ex. If you want to speak to him or try and see how hes doing, why dont you take a chance and talk to him in person? It couldnt hurt to try and be friends with him :)
Doing so will only feed the sad and negative feelings you have. It's better to not dwell and to go outside to take your mind off of your ex and do the things that you enjoy and love.
Do you think its helping you? To bring sadness to yourself its not a good idea, its bad for you, dont you think?
Ethically - sure it's okay. I wouldn't necessarily describe looking at his social media updates as "spying," as your ex is knowingly & willfully putting whatever you're looking at out there on the internet for everyone (including you) to see. Emotionally - maybe not, but that's up to you. Is monitoring his profiles taking up an excessive amount of your time that could be better spent on more productive activities? Is seeing a fun status update or photo he posts causing you to feel jealous & insecure? If you feel that doing this is negatively impacting your life & preventing you from moving on after the breakup then this behavior may be harmful for your emotional well-being. It's a difficult first step but ultimately the easiest way to resist the temptation to "spy" is to remove yourself from the situation - block or unfollow his accounts. As the old saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind."
After my last break up i did that as well but I learned that by doing that I wasn't moving on. I might have even seen some things I didn't want to see and wouldn't have seen if I wasn't spying.
It's natural that you would be curious as to what your ex might be doing. Time will help heal you, and I think when you pass the point in which you truly care about what he/she is doing, you'll stop. Is it okay? I can't answer that. Will you overcome it? Yes, yes you will.
Well i'll tell you from personal experience that it's okay, i've done the same thing you have done, you'll get over it eventually, you just have to give it time
from personal experience i would reccomend not spying on your ex's profile because then you are re living all of the horrible memories you went through which will make you upset or the great memories which will also make you upset. An ex is an ex for a reason and especially if your trying to get over them leave your ex in the past .
From personal experience, it is not okay. Every person needs time to heal from a breakup, and monitoring social media can cause reflections of the past and that can lead to hurt emotions.
Whether it's ok or not isn't clear cut- but it's definitely not healthy in getting over them. It's a lot more common than you think- don't feel guilty about it. Just know that it's only going to make it hurt more and do no thing towards easing your suffering. Best case scenario if it's really over, is to delete/block/unfriend them and deal with the initial pain. It will get better with time, I promise.
No, that's not okay and it's also not healthy for you. Supposing you check out your ex's social media, and all you see is them having a good time and being themselves. It will only depress or anger you that they've managed to get on with their life without you in it while you are still recovering from your breakup. This will only lengthen and worsen the process.
you will have a difficult time moving forward. It is absolutely necessary for you to get past your obsession for which you will need to sit down and reflect on why you are doing such things.
well what to say?? spying on your ex after break up on social media handles is like you are looking at the spoiled ice cream on road and still wants to pick it us. its truly useless.
Okay well that's up in the air. Normal definitely I would imagine we all do it a little but sooner or later you have to stop because it can become unhealthy you have to be able to move on to the next phase of your life
Typically, no. This is not an acceptable thing to do. Best bet is to delete her as a friend and then you won't have access to all her info so easy.
If you are looking at your ex's social media to find out what they are doing: who they are talking to, where they are going, what they are doing, and you feel that it is hindering your ability to move on, then don't do it. Based on the word you used here – "spying," you must feel guilty about it, and feel that it must be kept hidden. You know it is wrong. If you need to, remove your ex from your social media accounts.
yes that is ok. it is natural to see if he/she is involved with anyone else, its hard to help it, just follow your instincts
I think the important question to ask and be honest with yourself, is how does it make you feel, or how will it make you feel, finding something you don't like? Example, seeing a picture of your ex with somebody else, or seeing your ex looking happy without you. You can misinterpret both those situations, think the pic with sombody else is somebody your ex is interested in or seeing him happy may make you think he has moved on. The thing with social media is that it's just a small sliver into a person's life, and only allows you to see what the person wants you to see, and in the they want you to see it, creating an illusion of their life. This can be a really unhealthy habit if it doesn't make you feel good. And it may not allow you to accept the situation and move on with your life. Think about slowly reducing the number of times you check, busy yourself, make it hard for you to access your ex's social media, or go cold turkey and block and delete. It will be hard but worth it, and will make you feel better in the long run. Good luck!
It isn't. And to move on, you have to move away from this. It can be really difficult but gets easier over time. Start caring for yourself and do things that make you feel good like grooming yourself, hanging out with friends, playing a sport... whatever works for you. As you build your Life back... you'll see it's easier to deal with that urge.
Is it really the okay-ness that matters to you? Your behavior isnt exactly socially acceptable. It probably wont be easy for you to move on if you keep exposing yourself to them. Developing an obsession also wont be healthy for you or your ex. Perhaps its best to find another hobby, something that occupies your mind entirely, so you wont even think of checking for your ex's latest tweets.
That's not productive, and in my opinion leads to more heartache and makes it harder for a person to move on.
how does this make you feel it is right to do this maybe find other activities to occupy your mind breakups are always hard
If you want to move on from him/her, doing this will not help, but if you don't let it effect you, monitor away! ;)
NO. I strongly feel that it will not resolve your problems. You should distract yourself and indulge yourself in some other activity.
I have some experiencing with exactly this. It's important to remember that it is unfair to bring that baggage from the previous relationship to your current one. In my personal experience, after being cheated on I went through a similar situation and got caught spying on my significant other's accounts, it was not pretty, and that damaged the relationship more than either party ever desired. Fast forward to the present, now I am in a marriage I have learned that trusting your significant other is key and unless they give you a reason to do otherwise, always do your best to give the benefit of the doubt to any intrusive thoughts you may have. Trust is a solid foundation to any relationship. Just my $0.02 based on my past.
Does it feel okay to you? It seems like you might not be asking the question if it did. Trust your gut feeling about what you're doing. If it feels wrong, it's probably not what you want for yourself.
If he/she has moved on and there is no chance that you will be in a relationship with him/her, what's the point of spying on the profile? Well, in the initial stages of breakup, it's not abnormal to spy on those profiles. But, if you have been doing the same for some months, you definitely need some help my friend.
It will be okay to still be attached or concerned to your ex because he/she was someone you loved at one point and you are still working to get over it. Eventually, you will make the effort to accept the end of the relationship and move past it.
Being concerned about a past relationship is definitely normal, however if it's been months and you still find yourself viewing his/her page everyday, try to maybe limit yourself to once or twice a week or every couple of weeks. Continue to space this out and distance it farther apart until you completely forget to do it!
no you shouldnt keep checking i guess its only natural especially after a long lasting one you wanna know if shes moved on but dont check it means you are still wanting her and she might take that for grantage
It's okay for starting. It's really hard to deal with breakup specially the starting phase is really tough once you move on with your life you won't spy on social media
Not really. You should disconnect maybe even delete them. You should move on and be happy and learn to live without them
Spying on their accounts may leave little room for you to move on. Not checking the accounts will allow you to worry less. Out of sight, out of mind.
Personally I believe that spying on ex's social media is the worst thing you could do for your mental health. If your breakdown has already happened and you're sure it's permanent - you should start your way to build a new independent life, even if your life was built all-around that person before. Even if it seems impossible at the moment - try to think of your life before you met your ex. Was it different? What are the things you enjoyed the most when you were alone? Maybe there're some activities you had to cancel because of your relationship or probably some people you loved to communicate in the past? Think of your past as an useful experience to become a new, improved person that will be successful and beloved in the future. Spying on your ex will eliminate all of the efforts to change your life, because you can't build your new future if you're going to keep living in the past memories and feelings. Try to refrain yourself from keeping the track of your ex' life - that will help you to accept this loss and it could be the first, but the most significant step to your bright future.
A breakup is surely not an easy thing to get over and move on from. You probably don't feel like you can right now. The pain is still there and it may feel like it is everywhere. Though it seems like deep inside you don't feel right about the obsessive monitoring. Your gut feeling might be telling you that it might be making things worse and not allowing you the distance to properly heal. So, this is not a question about whether it's okay or not. What really matters is that constantly checking in on ex's social media will prolong your pain. Ask yourself why you are checking on them? Do you want to see them move on? Do you want to see them suffer? Do you want to find they are happy or miserable? Work with these answers to help you move on.
It's an unhealthy and unproductive thing to do. Unfortunately, this person has made the decision to step out of your life and you should respect their decision. The sooner you stop monitoring them online, the less you will think about them about them and the quicker you will move on. It's hard - we all get a weird satisfaction out of torturing ourselves - but you will be better off in the long term and will be able to return to your own life sooner. Good luck.
I think that there's nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't effect you in some negative way. If it makes you mad or sad, I would try to stop.
To be honest, i think it's okay to do this. It takes time to eventually get over someone. In due time you will realise he/she isn't worth it and you will finally move on...
It's normal but you need to lessen and to stop doing that..Because if you won't, you will end up being sad and you won't be able to move on...Try to do other things that will keep you busy and refrain from doing that
honestly its not ok..for one its envasion and its really saying that you dont trust them..i have done that before and honestly its kind of a painful thing
If your ex moved on from the relationship, it's probably healthiest for you to as well. They say that looking in the rearview mirror has a downside...you're missing the view through the windshield! Look forward and enjoy what the future has to offer!
It is completely normal to still be interested in how is the person you've been so close with doing, how is his/her life after all. However, it should be taken in account that this could result negatively on you. There is going to be a variety of posts which will not make you happy if you still have any feelings to this person. For example, seeing that your ex is moving on can result in sadness, irritation, frustration and dozens of other negative emotions and feelings. In my opinion, staying interested in the ex's social media account is not bad, if it is healthy and not crossing the line (so not causing you any negative emotions). However, if this becomes constant stalking it is not really okay. It is better to try to clear your head, distract you with something, take up a new hobby or just do something, which is pleasant and interesting to you. These could also help you to move on, so in a couple of weeks or months your "spying" could turn into healthy interest of how is your ex doing. And maybe even being happy seeing her/him moving on.
If your ex's social media is public and you aren't hacking accounts, then it isn't wrong. But is it right for you? If you find yourself obsessed over what your ex is doing, it's probably unhealthy. If you still talk to your ex, you could ask them what is new in their lives. If you don't talk to them at all, you may be trying to hold onto some sort of a relationship. Consider looking at 'Understanding Breakups' in our Self-Help section. Good luck!
It's okay to be curious about what your ex is up to and I'd be lying if I said I have never looked at an ex's profile after we broke up! But looking at your ex's social media also may not be good for you. If your always being reminded of what he's up to and who he's with you may find it harder to get over him. Try blocking him or deleting him from your social media if you can't stop yourself from looking at his stuff - it's hard though.
i think prying on what your ex could be doing by browsing her social media pages could easily turn into obsession, and you may find yourself consumed, anxious and even paranoid; thinking of all the possibilites of where she is, what she's doing and who she could be talking to. i don't know if it's a question of it being okay or not, but more if you think it's a healthy for you to be doing, and what you could be doing instead.
I have been in the exact same situation and I am here to say it's not good for your self esteem and can only make you feel worse. Time WILL heal everything but you need to do some work as well. I would block your ex from any social media and work on yourself.
Ok first of all I get how u feel and I know that even if u aren't going out with him u still care and u still have feelings for that person and at the beginning it's normal to spy and to make sure that person is ok but don't hurt yourself more don't stay stuck at the past don't break your heart even more move on cuz both of y'all deserve to find someone that will make y'all happy and even if it hurts its time to move on and to let go there is someone better for u put there waiting to find u
It's pretty normal, a bad habit most people tend to have, you miss them and are focused on what might be going on in their life. But it's important to remember that you have to eventually move on, as they have.
It's not the best thing emotionally for you, however, I cannot admit I haven't dabbled myself. The best thing for you is to take a step back and avoid their profile.
You are not the only one who does this, many others spy on their ex partners social media. However, stopping may help you move on. You may see something that will upset you, it is best to steer clear of the potential hurt by avoiding their social media.
Sometimes that happens, sometimes it helps you move on. He was your other half/lover at one point. I can understand why you're doing that. I personally think it's normal.
Of course that's ok! I think we all do it from time-to-time. You will eventually get over him/her and stop spying on their social media pages when you are ready to let go and move on.
It's not a great idea to do this because he's your ex and you wanna be able to get over him so you don't hurt yourself in the long run. there's nothing wrong or unusual about checking in on his personal life occasionally, but I'd be careful to not get hung up on it.
It's not healthy but I think everyone is guilty of doing that. If you feel yourself wanting to do it, do something else instead. You need to find distractions. Download a puzzle game on your phone or watch a funny video.
It is okay to be hurting, but becoming obsessive is not a good thing. Obsessiveness is an unhealthy habit to get into and will almost always result in you getting hurt again.
It is ok to do this and most people do. It is a difficult habit to stop because you were both very important to each other, and you probably still both care about each other! Who wouldn't want to know what their ex is up to! Having said this from personal experience I know that checking an ex's social media accounts regularly after a breakup can prevent people from moving on, and may cause a lot of pain if you see something that hurts you. So trying to resist this urge can be helpful to take care of yourself. Remember that what people show on social media is not always an accurate representation of their lives. So even if you do check, and see that your ex has a new partner, it doesn't tell the whole story. They may be using this person to get over you, or they may be secretly unhappy with their new partner, we just don't know. I can also tell you that they will still think about you now and in the future regardless of how they move on because you shared a part of your life together. Try to focus on yourself right now and be very gentle with yourself! If you give in to the urge to look at their social media accounts forgive yourself, and try to resist next time. Over time I promise you the urge to check them will decrease. It may take a long time, but it will decrease and you will be happier! The best way to resist this urge in the short term is to fill your time with activities and people who care about you, and putting yourself out there to meet new people. Try to talk to your parents, friends, and others about something other than your ex. Try to go outside with others and do something that doesn't involve your ex!
I feel that it isn’t okay nor healthy to do so. Spying is just a nice way of saying stalking. When you let go of the hurt and pain truly you won’t feel the need to spy!
At some point you will stop doing that but if you want to seriously move on you should stop doing it since it will hinder the process
although you may want to see whats been going on, you cant spend your life constantly checking up on someone who doesnt matter anymore. it wont get you anywhere
For some time I think it's quite normal, you've been involved with this person for some time and you want to know how that person is living after you. But it's healthy to look through it each time less and less.
If you want to move on then no in my experience, i don’t thibk it’s okay. It acts like a constant reminder of all that’s happened. We keep looking back. In order to move on we gotta break free of these habits. You know what they say “out of sight, out of mind”
Breaking the emotional link with your ex can be hard and spying his or her profiles on social media it's a way of keeping this link alive. The good news is that the sooner you broke this kind of links, the faster you will heal your wounds. You have the power to decide your recovery speed ;)
I think people do this as a way to stay connected, but really, it's a reflection of the fact that you're not letting go and accepting the end of the relationship. It's not a very healthy way to behave, particularly if it goes on for any period, as it just signals an inability to move on with your life.
No this is extremely unhealthy and it only brings you misfortune, jealousy and sadness. Do yourself a favor and uninstall your social media for a while. Tell your closest friends and family you're taking a short break and no cheating. You need time to find things you enjoy besides spying on others lives because you want to see their life fail without you with them.
It is normal to do that- but you are only doing yourself more harm. Try to keep away from social media for a while after your breakup, or maybe just take a break; it'll clear your mind. Try to focus on the things that you love doing in life and think positive!
After a breakup, it can be very difficult to let go of someone especially if we were very close and in love with that person. While it can be unhealthy in the long run in terms of letting go and moving forward, it can help us feel better at the time of the heart break. Even I look back sometimes but it becomes less and less overtime as I learn to let go of that person and move on to new opportunities. Best of luck to you!
In this day and age it is almost like an addiction to stalk every single thing that another human being does. When you date someone you are quite used to seeing their every move. An "internet footprint". However when things go south what do you do? Unfriend? Unfollow? Block? Probably all of these for our own sanity. At some point you goota stop. You dont need to know who he's going to the movies with. And you dont need to know who she parties with. Past is better left in the past and this habit has to be curbed like ripping off a bandage. If hes blocked force yourself to keep the person blocked
Completely okay. But if you are planning to get over your break up, you should stop from spying and move on.
No its not ok as they are now your ex and its none of your business and on top of that you're torturing yourself.
It's certainly normal to want to see how your ex is getting on. It could be out of jealousy that you don't want to see them with someone else, it could be anger that you don't want them to hurt another, clarity for the reasons why you broke up with them, or it could even just be habit from how much you're used to caring for them etc. However, it's not healthy. If the decision of the break up was final then you need to be able to function happily without them in your life. Time is the best healer for that but you need to be able to move on and live for yourself.
Sure, but the only one that's gonna get hurt is you. Spying on them doesn't bring you anything besides seeing their pictures or what they have to say. And one day you'll see something you don't like, that's just bound to happen, and you'll get yourself hurt because care about someone you should be forgetting.
Technically speaking, you can do whatever you want, but since the dynamics are very different now, it wil be considered stalking if he finds out. Also, stalking your ex prevents you from moving on from the relationship cleanly, and you might find yourself clinging on to it which is bad for your emotional well-being. I suggest you block him entirely and treat your relationship as a relic that you don't want to be reminded of. Treat you current situation as starting anew and look to the future as a blank scape.
First off, this isn't healthy even as a coping mechanism, but if you feel as if you can't change it at all, then at least try to browse healthily. Search for their happiness and be happy for them if they're happy!
Each breakup is unique and for this reason so is the 'correct' procedure on how to handle it. In my own experience the moment you decide to delete the numbers, remove the messages and block both yourself and your ex from being able to see each other on social media - you gain a huge about of control and momentum. At first, you may find yourself counting the days since you checked and wondering what you may be missing but ignorance is truly bliss! Slowly but surely by lack of exposure to your ex - you will begin to heal and move on without even realising.
In the beginning is okay, but if it has been going through longer, you might have some problems with missing affection and intimacy with somebody. Try to distract yourself with friends, studies, work, social life or hobbies. If the emotions are too overwhelming still, consider seeing a counselor or therapist.
I feel like this question is very subjective, however I feel that over-time it is healthy to begin to distance yourself from an ex. Once you begin to distance yourself further and further, you will begin to discover more things about yourself, through experiences, that you may not have known,
It's difficult to get over some people. But it's not healthy to spy on your ex. You need to make a conscious effort to try and stop. It won't help you in anyway. Instead go make some social media worthy memories for yourself. Go out. Enjoy with friends. Try new things. Have fun.
It is normal to be curious about someone that you use to speak with everyday, however it is time to move on, if you have split up recently then take time to let your emotions out. By looking at their social media for any clue about what they are doing is just prolonging the feelings you currently have.
That is definitely okay, as long as you both are still friends afterwards, there is nothing preventing you from seeing what they are doing.
It´s not. That has maybe to do with the fact that I am still missing something in my story with him out. If I still want to know how he is doing or looking, that shouldnt be a problem. Still I think it wouldnt be a problem to ask him directly how is his life going. That would give us a much more real, practical and true answer than what we can get from social media. And who knows, maybe he might be glad you looked out for him and something new might start!
Of course it's okay! It may not help you to move or but it's a normal thing to be curious about! Try limiting yourself to one 'look' a day, and eventually you will stop caring what they are doing in their life!
It is completely normal to do so, afterall, love is not that easy to be forgotten. It is good to take your time to heal and then build your life back again.
It's totally normal behavior, but you want to try to fight against that urge as best as possible. After my ex and I broke up I blocked off everything, which helped me a lot in the process of getting over him