Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

303 Answers.
Last Updated: 06/04/2018 at 9:21pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Top Rated Answer
Brettlstar
September 28th, 2014 5:32am
I wonder what you are feeling at the time when you see his pictures and stories? its not uncommon to want to know what the ex is doing but really it comes down to why. Are you still in love with them ? Do you want to try and get back together ? Are you jealous they might have found someone or are happy ? really I think right now its a good idea to focus on you rather than the ex and decide what you want in your life, and perhaps start making some plans for that direction
Newest Answer
Sielf
June 4th, 2018 9:21pm
Not necessarily bad but it is very unhealthy. Monitoring someone after a break-up keeps them close to us, even when they do not want us. It only adds to the pain and desire of wanting them back.

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Top Rated Answers
emidee
January 1st, 2016 8:20pm
This is totally normal, but extremely harmful to your own mental health. The problem with social media is that we only put our best, happiest and brightest moments. We are particularly susceptible to harm of this effect when we ourselves are in a bad place because we get an extremely skewed perspective that everyone else is 'so much happier and more together'. Breakups are really tough for everyone, but they can also be the most perfect and beautiful excuse to be a little selfish and just focus on you and what makes you happy. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity and you'll be surprised at how much you can love yourself when you learn how great you can be :)
RayofHope
July 21st, 2018 6:28pm
Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.
Blue1
September 16th, 2014 10:13pm
No, it just brings up old feelings and doesn't allow you to move on from the relationship. Seeing what they're up to every once and awhile is fine, especially if you are still friends. Otherwise, it just makes the breakup more difficult for you.
SillyFrenchFemme
September 16th, 2014 12:02pm
It will cause you stress, and you will keep your mind on your ex-partner and their behavior. In my experience, if you don't give yourself a break from this, it will be much harder to get over the break-up. The best thing you can do for you to heal is to go 'no-contact'. Ask your friends not to discuss your ex with you, remove/block any notifications from them, block yourself from being able to look at their online life. Do this for at least a month or so to give yourself the chance to heal some more. It will be very tempting to contact them, but isn't it more important that you can get past this? Good luck and take care! You can do it!
PippaCalisto
March 19th, 2015 9:41pm
It's normal to still want to feel connected to the person you spent so much time with. Many of us have resorted to spying on an ex significant other or friend in order to be close and keep lookout. Going from being the first to know something to the last is hard to adjust to. It hurts to think of them moving on, but it feels even worse when we witness it. Think about your emotional and mental health and reassess whether or not this is something you should keep doing. Although, by asking this question, it seems like you may already know the answer.
JulieDarling
October 25th, 2014 4:56pm
Always keeping up with what they are doing will only cause you more pain. It's best to just try your best to let go even if it feels like you are going to die. Think about it, out of sight out of mind. If you don't keep up with them, then you won't know what they are doing, and therefore it will save you a lot of tears and pain.
saltywhale
December 30th, 2015 3:58pm
do it if you want to. do as much as you want and one day you'll get bored and realise this is so nonsense and that will be the same day his name doesn't effect you anymore.
Illstaywithyoutonight
October 8th, 2014 1:34pm
You shouldn't be spying on your ex. If you want to speak to him or try and see how hes doing, why dont you take a chance and talk to him in person? It couldnt hurt to try and be friends with him :)
Majoss
October 4th, 2014 9:56pm
Do you think its helping you? To bring sadness to yourself its not a good idea, its bad for you, dont you think?
lonelyghost
October 30th, 2014 2:31pm
Doing so will only feed the sad and negative feelings you have. It's better to not dwell and to go outside to take your mind off of your ex and do the things that you enjoy and love.
Noel24
October 4th, 2014 5:49pm
After my last break up i did that as well but I learned that by doing that I wasn't moving on. I might have even seen some things I didn't want to see and wouldn't have seen if I wasn't spying.
amiableAmy
June 17th, 2015 6:59am
Ethically - sure it's okay. I wouldn't necessarily describe looking at his social media updates as "spying," as your ex is knowingly & willfully putting whatever you're looking at out there on the internet for everyone (including you) to see. Emotionally - maybe not, but that's up to you. Is monitoring his profiles taking up an excessive amount of your time that could be better spent on more productive activities? Is seeing a fun status update or photo he posts causing you to feel jealous & insecure? If you feel that doing this is negatively impacting your life & preventing you from moving on after the breakup then this behavior may be harmful for your emotional well-being. It's a difficult first step but ultimately the easiest way to resist the temptation to "spy" is to remove yourself from the situation - block or unfollow his accounts. As the old saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind."
LevisCorde
November 6th, 2014 3:00am
It's natural that you would be curious as to what your ex might be doing. Time will help heal you, and I think when you pass the point in which you truly care about what he/she is doing, you'll stop. Is it okay? I can't answer that. Will you overcome it? Yes, yes you will.
JustCallMeAce
August 31st, 2015 11:57pm
Well i'll tell you from personal experience that it's okay, i've done the same thing you have done, you'll get over it eventually, you just have to give it time
courageousApple87
November 13th, 2014 5:04am
from personal experience i would reccomend not spying on your ex's profile because then you are re living all of the horrible memories you went through which will make you upset or the great memories which will also make you upset. An ex is an ex for a reason and especially if your trying to get over them leave your ex in the past .
Kharisma
October 16th, 2014 9:48pm
From personal experience, it is not okay. Every person needs time to heal from a breakup, and monitoring social media can cause reflections of the past and that can lead to hurt emotions.
molarbear
November 2nd, 2014 11:10pm
Whether it's ok or not isn't clear cut- but it's definitely not healthy in getting over them. It's a lot more common than you think- don't feel guilty about it. Just know that it's only going to make it hurt more and do no thing towards easing your suffering. Best case scenario if it's really over, is to delete/block/unfriend them and deal with the initial pain. It will get better with time, I promise.
djbuyi
January 1st, 2016 10:43pm
No, that's not okay and it's also not healthy for you. Supposing you check out your ex's social media, and all you see is them having a good time and being themselves. It will only depress or anger you that they've managed to get on with their life without you in it while you are still recovering from your breakup. This will only lengthen and worsen the process.
healingPillow43
December 23rd, 2015 1:09pm
you will have a difficult time moving forward. It is absolutely necessary for you to get past your obsession for which you will need to sit down and reflect on why you are doing such things.
divinewillpower86
December 23rd, 2015 10:59pm
well what to say?? spying on your ex after break up on social media handles is like you are looking at the spoiled ice cream on road and still wants to pick it us. its truly useless.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 4:21pm
I think the important question to ask and be honest with yourself, is how does it make you feel, or how will it make you feel, finding something you don't like? Example, seeing a picture of your ex with somebody else, or seeing your ex looking happy without you. You can misinterpret both those situations, think the pic with sombody else is somebody your ex is interested in or seeing him happy may make you think he has moved on. The thing with social media is that it's just a small sliver into a person's life, and only allows you to see what the person wants you to see, and in the they want you to see it, creating an illusion of their life. This can be a really unhealthy habit if it doesn't make you feel good. And it may not allow you to accept the situation and move on with your life. Think about slowly reducing the number of times you check, busy yourself, make it hard for you to access your ex's social media, or go cold turkey and block and delete. It will be hard but worth it, and will make you feel better in the long run. Good luck!
Anonymous
October 18th, 2014 12:26am
Okay well that's up in the air. Normal definitely I would imagine we all do it a little but sooner or later you have to stop because it can become unhealthy you have to be able to move on to the next phase of your life
BillNIndy75
October 22nd, 2014 5:32pm
Typically, no. This is not an acceptable thing to do. Best bet is to delete her as a friend and then you won't have access to all her info so easy.
jollyfox
November 2nd, 2014 8:36pm
If you are looking at your ex's social media to find out what they are doing: who they are talking to, where they are going, what they are doing, and you feel that it is hindering your ability to move on, then don't do it. Based on the word you used here – "spying," you must feel guilty about it, and feel that it must be kept hidden. You know it is wrong. If you need to, remove your ex from your social media accounts.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 10:52pm
yes that is ok. it is natural to see if he/she is involved with anyone else, its hard to help it, just follow your instincts
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2014 9:30am
It isn't. And to move on, you have to move away from this. It can be really difficult but gets easier over time. Start caring for yourself and do things that make you feel good like grooming yourself, hanging out with friends, playing a sport... whatever works for you. As you build your Life back... you'll see it's easier to deal with that urge.
Aasyed1
February 15th, 2018 5:37am
No, not at all. It means that you are still forcing yourself into their life even though they are out of yours.
PrincessAngelique4665
October 8th, 2014 12:58am
Is it really the okay-ness that matters to you? Your behavior isnt exactly socially acceptable. It probably wont be easy for you to move on if you keep exposing yourself to them. Developing an obsession also wont be healthy for you or your ex. Perhaps its best to find another hobby, something that occupies your mind entirely, so you wont even think of checking for your ex's latest tweets.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 7:22am
That's not productive, and in my opinion leads to more heartache and makes it harder for a person to move on.
BeamSea
October 15th, 2016 1:28pm
Personally I believe that spying on ex's social media is the worst thing you could do for your mental health. If your breakdown has already happened and you're sure it's permanent - you should start your way to build a new independent life, even if your life was built all-around that person before. Even if it seems impossible at the moment - try to think of your life before you met your ex. Was it different? What are the things you enjoyed the most when you were alone? Maybe there're some activities you had to cancel because of your relationship or probably some people you loved to communicate in the past? Think of your past as an useful experience to become a new, improved person that will be successful and beloved in the future. Spying on your ex will eliminate all of the efforts to change your life, because you can't build your new future if you're going to keep living in the past memories and feelings. Try to refrain yourself from keeping the track of your ex' life - that will help you to accept this loss and it could be the first, but the most significant step to your bright future.
KenziiShy
November 8th, 2017 4:34am
No this is extremely unhealthy and it only brings you misfortune, jealousy and sadness. Do yourself a favor and uninstall your social media for a while. Tell your closest friends and family you're taking a short break and no cheating. You need time to find things you enjoy besides spying on others lives because you want to see their life fail without you with them.
HerforU2580
September 14th, 2014 2:40pm
how does this make you feel it is right to do this maybe find other activities to occupy your mind breakups are always hard
CeGeorge
October 5th, 2014 7:54am
If you want to move on from him/her, doing this will not help, but if you don't let it effect you, monitor away! ;)
GoodGreen
October 16th, 2014 9:55am
NO. I strongly feel that it will not resolve your problems. You should distract yourself and indulge yourself in some other activity.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2014 7:13am
I have some experiencing with exactly this. It's important to remember that it is unfair to bring that baggage from the previous relationship to your current one. In my personal experience, after being cheated on I went through a similar situation and got caught spying on my significant other's accounts, it was not pretty, and that damaged the relationship more than either party ever desired. Fast forward to the present, now I am in a marriage I have learned that trusting your significant other is key and unless they give you a reason to do otherwise, always do your best to give the benefit of the doubt to any intrusive thoughts you may have. Trust is a solid foundation to any relationship. Just my $0.02 based on my past.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2014 2:49am
Does it feel okay to you? It seems like you might not be asking the question if it did. Trust your gut feeling about what you're doing. If it feels wrong, it's probably not what you want for yourself.
PeaceTrain
November 10th, 2014 7:58am
If he/she has moved on and there is no chance that you will be in a relationship with him/her, what's the point of spying on the profile? Well, in the initial stages of breakup, it's not abnormal to spy on those profiles. But, if you have been doing the same for some months, you definitely need some help my friend.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 2:32pm
It will be okay to still be attached or concerned to your ex because he/she was someone you loved at one point and you are still working to get over it. Eventually, you will make the effort to accept the end of the relationship and move past it.
Madelenemariee
December 31st, 2015 12:01am
Being concerned about a past relationship is definitely normal, however if it's been months and you still find yourself viewing his/her page everyday, try to maybe limit yourself to once or twice a week or every couple of weeks. Continue to space this out and distance it farther apart until you completely forget to do it!
SpyNipple
January 14th, 2016 3:38pm
no you shouldnt keep checking i guess its only natural especially after a long lasting one you wanna know if shes moved on but dont check it means you are still wanting her and she might take that for grantage
listen2yourself
February 6th, 2016 4:35pm
It's okay for starting. It's really hard to deal with breakup specially the starting phase is really tough once you move on with your life you won't spy on social media
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 1:06pm
Not really. You should disconnect maybe even delete them. You should move on and be happy and learn to live without them
Concretewall
October 14th, 2016 8:15am
It is completely normal to still be interested in how is the person you've been so close with doing, how is his/her life after all. However, it should be taken in account that this could result negatively on you. There is going to be a variety of posts which will not make you happy if you still have any feelings to this person. For example, seeing that your ex is moving on can result in sadness, irritation, frustration and dozens of other negative emotions and feelings. In my opinion, staying interested in the ex's social media account is not bad, if it is healthy and not crossing the line (so not causing you any negative emotions). However, if this becomes constant stalking it is not really okay. It is better to try to clear your head, distract you with something, take up a new hobby or just do something, which is pleasant and interesting to you. These could also help you to move on, so in a couple of weeks or months your "spying" could turn into healthy interest of how is your ex doing. And maybe even being happy seeing her/him moving on.
sereneZebra18
October 14th, 2016 11:44am
Spying on their accounts may leave little room for you to move on. Not checking the accounts will allow you to worry less. Out of sight, out of mind.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2016 3:55am
A breakup is surely not an easy thing to get over and move on from. You probably don't feel like you can right now. The pain is still there and it may feel like it is everywhere. Though it seems like deep inside you don't feel right about the obsessive monitoring. Your gut feeling might be telling you that it might be making things worse and not allowing you the distance to properly heal. So, this is not a question about whether it's okay or not. What really matters is that constantly checking in on ex's social media will prolong your pain. Ask yourself why you are checking on them? Do you want to see them move on? Do you want to see them suffer? Do you want to find they are happy or miserable? Work with these answers to help you move on.
CircleHettie
December 10th, 2016 1:57am
It's an unhealthy and unproductive thing to do. Unfortunately, this person has made the decision to step out of your life and you should respect their decision. The sooner you stop monitoring them online, the less you will think about them about them and the quicker you will move on. It's hard - we all get a weird satisfaction out of torturing ourselves - but you will be better off in the long term and will be able to return to your own life sooner. Good luck.
Ashley1226
September 23rd, 2014 8:52pm
I think that there's nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't effect you in some negative way. If it makes you mad or sad, I would try to stop.
Welfffy24
October 7th, 2014 1:04pm
To be honest, i think it's okay to do this. It takes time to eventually get over someone. In due time you will realise he/she isn't worth it and you will finally move on...
akr
November 20th, 2014 6:33pm
It's normal but you need to lessen and to stop doing that..Because if you won't, you will end up being sad and you won't be able to move on...Try to do other things that will keep you busy and refrain from doing that
amoyrycorazon
January 13th, 2016 10:24pm
honestly its not ok..for one its envasion and its really saying that you dont trust them..i have done that before and honestly its kind of a painful thing
allnaturalUnicorns70
June 6th, 2016 3:07pm
If your ex moved on from the relationship, it's probably healthiest for you to as well. They say that looking in the rearview mirror has a downside...you're missing the view through the windshield! Look forward and enjoy what the future has to offer!
AutumnLeigh
December 16th, 2016 5:11pm
If your ex's social media is public and you aren't hacking accounts, then it isn't wrong. But is it right for you? If you find yourself obsessed over what your ex is doing, it's probably unhealthy. If you still talk to your ex, you could ask them what is new in their lives. If you don't talk to them at all, you may be trying to hold onto some sort of a relationship. Consider looking at 'Understanding Breakups' in our Self-Help section. Good luck!
phi123
December 22nd, 2016 6:31am
It's okay to be curious about what your ex is up to and I'd be lying if I said I have never looked at an ex's profile after we broke up! But looking at your ex's social media also may not be good for you. If your always being reminded of what he's up to and who he's with you may find it harder to get over him. Try blocking him or deleting him from your social media if you can't stop yourself from looking at his stuff - it's hard though.
JakeSGH
June 6th, 2017 4:35pm
First off, this isn't healthy even as a coping mechanism, but if you feel as if you can't change it at all, then at least try to browse healthily. Search for their happiness and be happy for them if they're happy!
SpunkyMonkey100
September 4th, 2017 10:23am
i think prying on what your ex could be doing by browsing her social media pages could easily turn into obsession, and you may find yourself consumed, anxious and even paranoid; thinking of all the possibilites of where she is, what she's doing and who she could be talking to. i don't know if it's a question of it being okay or not, but more if you think it's a healthy for you to be doing, and what you could be doing instead.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2017 8:36pm
In this day and age it is almost like an addiction to stalk every single thing that another human being does. When you date someone you are quite used to seeing their every move. An "internet footprint". However when things go south what do you do? Unfriend? Unfollow? Block? Probably all of these for our own sanity. At some point you goota stop. You dont need to know who he's going to the movies with. And you dont need to know who she parties with. Past is better left in the past and this habit has to be curbed like ripping off a bandage. If hes blocked force yourself to keep the person blocked
TheHoneyDoll
September 23rd, 2017 10:35pm
After a breakup, it can be very difficult to let go of someone especially if we were very close and in love with that person. While it can be unhealthy in the long run in terms of letting go and moving forward, it can help us feel better at the time of the heart break. Even I look back sometimes but it becomes less and less overtime as I learn to let go of that person and move on to new opportunities. Best of luck to you!
GoodGirl21
October 18th, 2017 7:07pm
I have been in the exact same situation and I am here to say it's not good for your self esteem and can only make you feel worse. Time WILL heal everything but you need to do some work as well. I would block your ex from any social media and work on yourself.
Loveyourself24444
November 12th, 2017 5:07am
Ok first of all I get how u feel and I know that even if u aren't going out with him u still care and u still have feelings for that person and at the beginning it's normal to spy and to make sure that person is ok but don't hurt yourself more don't stay stuck at the past don't break your heart even more move on cuz both of y'all deserve to find someone that will make y'all happy and even if it hurts its time to move on and to let go there is someone better for u put there waiting to find u
Recent Answers
Anonymous
May 7th, 2018 7:31am
I understand your situation. It is perfectly normal. You just have to give yourself some time. And eventually you’ll move on.
hereforyou2121
February 14th, 2018 10:33pm
It is very understandable, however, not necessarily helpful for you. Spying indicates and interest and most likely a willingness to get back with your ex. However, simply spying and unavoidably coming up with different assumptions is not where true happiness lies. First and foremost putting someone else as your priority number one does not indicate a healthy relationship with the self as we should be in the centre of our lives, the drivers of our life-mobil. In the case of willingness to reverse the situation, one may be better off talking openly in a heart-to-heart conversation. If the spying stems from curiosity then one should question why this curiosity exists. My best advice to any addictive behaviour is to ask yourself the question if you would recommend a person who you truly love to do this. The chances are that if you are advising a loved one you would avoid recommending harmful in one way or another activities. Then try loving yourself and give your best advice to your favourite person - yourself. You deserve the best.
peacebeliever927
February 11th, 2018 11:24pm
if you feel that its okay and you feel good by doing this then its okay. but dont let that person hurt you in anyway or you hurt your self . that would not be nessasary if you think that its is not fine and for any reason this thing is hurting you more then you should move on try to be strong and try to find a better person which will make you happy and make u fall in love
Sixthreemini
February 11th, 2018 1:29am
If you are doing this you are probably a little jealous and are still getting over the breakup. Try to focus on your own life and forget about your ex. You go girl!
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 9:36pm
At first, it's okay it is very natural and i would do it too. Though, it is not healthy to do it forever, at some point you should stop and move on, it's okay if you can't because that is where you can talk to us for some help :)
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:32pm
that's not healthy. the only way you will find closure and the ability to move forward into a healthy relationship (when you are ready) is to find closure in letting go. If you continue to spy on your ex you're not allowing yourself the chance to heal and find closure.
greatfulShoulder82
February 7th, 2018 4:21am
No,because he will think that your stalking him and that is really really creepy so no. not O.K. at all
LilSam18
January 31st, 2018 1:51am
Its incredibly normal to do this after breakups. In today's world its hard not to get away with the amount of social media options we have. I cant think of a person who hasn't monitored their ex's social media at some point. To answer your question, yes! Perfectly normal. For the sake of your well-being however it's best not to make a routine of this. It makes the process of getting over them last much longer than it need to.
Freedomtochoose
January 26th, 2018 8:18pm
I think the temptation is there. However, it is a bad habit that needs to be broken. I think it makes it difficult to move forward. Try blocking him. Remember the phrase "Out of sight, out of mind". Good Luck!
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 7:50am
Not really, You are not letting yourself go from the past. Dont look back, you can only look forward.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2018 7:31am
It is normal, we all have been through this phase but what is important here is why do you want to monitor their activities. Seeing their pictures or statuses is only going to hurt you. Why do you want to hurt yourself? It is not the time to focus on what they are doing in their lives, you should try to keep the focus on yourself and move on in your life.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 2:27pm
It's not healthy but I think everyone is guilty of doing that. If you feel yourself wanting to do it, do something else instead. You need to find distractions. Download a puzzle game on your phone or watch a funny video.
Anonymous
January 11th, 2018 12:37am
It is okay to be hurting, but becoming obsessive is not a good thing. Obsessiveness is an unhealthy habit to get into and will almost always result in you getting hurt again.
YoYoshi
January 5th, 2018 2:29pm
It is ok to do this and most people do. It is a difficult habit to stop because you were both very important to each other, and you probably still both care about each other! Who wouldn't want to know what their ex is up to! Having said this from personal experience I know that checking an ex's social media accounts regularly after a breakup can prevent people from moving on, and may cause a lot of pain if you see something that hurts you. So trying to resist this urge can be helpful to take care of yourself. Remember that what people show on social media is not always an accurate representation of their lives. So even if you do check, and see that your ex has a new partner, it doesn't tell the whole story. They may be using this person to get over you, or they may be secretly unhappy with their new partner, we just don't know. I can also tell you that they will still think about you now and in the future regardless of how they move on because you shared a part of your life together. Try to focus on yourself right now and be very gentle with yourself! If you give in to the urge to look at their social media accounts forgive yourself, and try to resist next time. Over time I promise you the urge to check them will decrease. It may take a long time, but it will decrease and you will be happier! The best way to resist this urge in the short term is to fill your time with activities and people who care about you, and putting yourself out there to meet new people. Try to talk to your parents, friends, and others about something other than your ex. Try to go outside with others and do something that doesn't involve your ex!
MalignantLove
December 30th, 2017 5:18pm
It's pretty normal, a bad habit most people tend to have, you miss them and are focused on what might be going on in their life. But it's important to remember that you have to eventually move on, as they have.
caringHope26
December 15th, 2017 12:16am
I feel that it isn’t okay nor healthy to do so. Spying is just a nice way of saying stalking. When you let go of the hurt and pain truly you won’t feel the need to spy!
cuddlyDay48
December 8th, 2017 10:22pm
At some point you will stop doing that but if you want to seriously move on you should stop doing it since it will hinder the process
Anonymous
November 29th, 2017 8:07pm
although you may want to see whats been going on, you cant spend your life constantly checking up on someone who doesnt matter anymore. it wont get you anywhere
75Ktea
November 28th, 2017 11:25pm
For some time I think it's quite normal, you've been involved with this person for some time and you want to know how that person is living after you. But it's healthy to look through it each time less and less.
hibsta
November 22nd, 2017 6:59pm
If you want to move on then no in my experience, i don’t thibk it’s okay. It acts like a constant reminder of all that’s happened. We keep looking back. In order to move on we gotta break free of these habits. You know what they say “out of sight, out of mind”
2ears4u
November 19th, 2017 4:17pm
Breaking the emotional link with your ex can be hard and spying his or her profiles on social media it's a way of keeping this link alive. The good news is that the sooner you broke this kind of links, the faster you will heal your wounds. You have the power to decide your recovery speed ;)
creativePalm12
November 15th, 2017 7:26am
I think people do this as a way to stay connected, but really, it's a reflection of the fact that you're not letting go and accepting the end of the relationship. It's not a very healthy way to behave, particularly if it goes on for any period, as it just signals an inability to move on with your life.
Verne216
November 3rd, 2017 8:25pm
It is normal to do that- but you are only doing yourself more harm. Try to keep away from social media for a while after your breakup, or maybe just take a break; it'll clear your mind. Try to focus on the things that you love doing in life and think positive!
KHA123
August 20th, 2017 9:05am
Completely okay. But if you are planning to get over your break up, you should stop from spying and move on.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2017 7:59pm
No its not ok as they are now your ex and its none of your business and on top of that you're torturing yourself.
HakunaMatata2k
August 2nd, 2017 2:56am
It's certainly normal to want to see how your ex is getting on. It could be out of jealousy that you don't want to see them with someone else, it could be anger that you don't want them to hurt another, clarity for the reasons why you broke up with them, or it could even just be habit from how much you're used to caring for them etc. However, it's not healthy. If the decision of the break up was final then you need to be able to function happily without them in your life. Time is the best healer for that but you need to be able to move on and live for yourself.
LilSun
June 23rd, 2017 2:13pm
Sure, but the only one that's gonna get hurt is you. Spying on them doesn't bring you anything besides seeing their pictures or what they have to say. And one day you'll see something you don't like, that's just bound to happen, and you'll get yourself hurt because care about someone you should be forgetting.
EricaAnne
June 8th, 2017 4:38am
Technically speaking, you can do whatever you want, but since the dynamics are very different now, it wil be considered stalking if he finds out. Also, stalking your ex prevents you from moving on from the relationship cleanly, and you might find yourself clinging on to it which is bad for your emotional well-being. I suggest you block him entirely and treat your relationship as a relic that you don't want to be reminded of. Treat you current situation as starting anew and look to the future as a blank scape.
YOUHAVEWORTH
May 11th, 2017 11:35pm
Each breakup is unique and for this reason so is the 'correct' procedure on how to handle it. In my own experience the moment you decide to delete the numbers, remove the messages and block both yourself and your ex from being able to see each other on social media - you gain a huge about of control and momentum. At first, you may find yourself counting the days since you checked and wondering what you may be missing but ignorance is truly bliss! Slowly but surely by lack of exposure to your ex - you will begin to heal and move on without even realising.
warmPudding59
May 10th, 2017 8:57pm
In the beginning is okay, but if it has been going through longer, you might have some problems with missing affection and intimacy with somebody. Try to distract yourself with friends, studies, work, social life or hobbies. If the emotions are too overwhelming still, consider seeing a counselor or therapist.