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Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 06/06/2022 at 1:11pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
exquisiteGrotto32
January 13th, 2016 2:31pm
It's normal after a breakup, I'm sure everybody does this but it is best to try and let them go. It won't help to be obsessing over their life, when you could go out and have your own fun, and not worry about what your ex is doing. I would say try and stop spying on their account and to just have your own fun 😊
WhatColorWouldYouLikeToBe
January 15th, 2016 10:06am
There is nothing wrong with having curiosity, asking yourself "What´s up with her/him?". Continuously spying on someone´s media can and will only be harmful to you. Moving on will be significantly harder with constant reminders of the other´s life as it triggers emotions that we can't really control. Peek at your own risk but if it´s not going to help you better not even have the temptation and block or delete that person´s media; if you simply can't do it, ask a friend to do it for you, but one you can definitely trust.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 5:22pm
I've done that too. Once you've fully moved on you won't feel the urge to anymore. Try working harder to focus on yourself, which is what's really important.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 11:26pm
I think it's something that most people are guilty of after a relationship however it isn't particularly helpful or productive. Social media only shows what that person wants the world to see.
whimsicalBreeze39
January 21st, 2016 12:47pm
No it is not. You wont move on if you keep doing so. Please either delete or block him to stop yourself.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 4:35pm
No, it isn't. I understand maybe you went through a rough break up? Would you like to talk about that.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 12:11am
No! no! NO! its bad it shows you still have an attachment and its time to cut that string in half and stop it from growing longer!!
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 8:40am
No. That is considered stalking spying is never a good nor right thing to do. It is very wrong and you could get caught.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 4:27pm
Thats completely fine as you are not over the breakup. However, in time you must reduce the amount of spying as this can become unhealthy for you.
briaannasaurus
January 24th, 2016 8:13pm
It's normal to want to see what your ex is doing but don't let it become a habit. Watching other people and envying their new life is unhealthy.
maskedanonymous
January 27th, 2016 1:02pm
How long have you been separated? It'd be normal if you just broke up. It's part of the denial stage - the checking up on him/her. It wouldn't be normal if you broke up a couple of years ago, and you're still hung up on him/her.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 7:14pm
So you recently broke up and now you feel the need to find out somehow what your ex is up to? Why do you think you are feeling like this?
RayeSafeSpace
January 27th, 2016 7:43pm
Hey. Spying on ex's social media is tempting, but don't do it. Don't fall prey to temptation, especially if you want to get over them. Remember; while you are busy spying they are out living life! To get over the temptation of wanting to spy on them go out and have fun, do something entertaining. It will be the best thing, I promise :)
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 5:49pm
No its not okay because its not healthy, yeah it can be tempting but it will hurt to find things you dont want to see
Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 1:01am
Well, to an outsider it may seem obsessive and even implying an un-severed attachment to your ex...
Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 5:50am
No its not. Then whats the point of breakup. You had a breakup because what you wanted is peace. But by doing so you are simply worring about it. And by doing so you will only lead to an unpeacefull mind.
softedita
January 30th, 2016 8:16pm
Yes, it's okay to check up on their social media every once in awhile to see what they're up too. A lot of people do it!
BatWings89
January 31st, 2016 6:50pm
How does it make you feel? How would you feel if someone did the same thing to you, assuming you didn't have any feelings anymore?
Daniela95
February 3rd, 2016 1:47pm
It's normal that we check out how our ex is doing from time to time just because this is a person who we once deeply cared about, but if this effects your everyday life, it's best to find someone to talk with about this.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:31pm
you should not do it because what he does is none of your busness i did it once and i got pummeled k
HappyFrogger998
February 4th, 2016 4:10am
It's going to make it a lot harder for you to move on from the relationship. It would be good for you to take a break from social media for a while and stop checking up on them.
Tahsin
February 5th, 2016 5:05am
Many people do this, but it doesn't make it okay. I think you should work on stopping, and eventually moving on. Holding on to your past helps you in no way possible.
Katie727
February 7th, 2016 9:44pm
I think it's normal to look at what's going on in their lives since they left you, but don't obsess over it, try to focus on yourself and your own life, but I would say it is normal and okay in moderation.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 2:26pm
It's not illegal, but if you find something that upsets you, it will inevitably not be worth it. While we can't quite our need to feel like we are still in their live, we do need to recognize maybe it's better that way. You should let them be, as hard as it is.
ShiningBright19
February 11th, 2016 3:53pm
if you want to move on. is not okay then because its like you touch the wound again and again. and then you cant forget him. but if you think both of you can get back together and you dont want to move on its absolutely okay
KristalVargas
February 12th, 2016 12:41am
Its common to cope with a breakup this way- Its hard going through breakups when you really cared about the person you were with.
CourageousNotDangerous
June 7th, 2016 10:17am
As long as you aren't doing anything illegal, it's okay.
lonestar87
July 12th, 2016 2:15pm
Although you still care for this person checking their social media will only prolong the healing process for you. The best thing to do is go about your own life and enjoy yourself. Cut contact on social media. What you don't know can't hurt you and concentrate on doing things that make you happy.
cosyheart21
September 17th, 2016 10:53pm
If you keep picking at the wound, it will never heal. It might be hard, but it will save you so much pain if you stop focusing on what your ex is doing, and focus on you. Put yourself first!
creativePalm12
November 15th, 2017 7:26am
I think people do this as a way to stay connected, but really, it's a reflection of the fact that you're not letting go and accepting the end of the relationship. It's not a very healthy way to behave, particularly if it goes on for any period, as it just signals an inability to move on with your life.