What are some ways to help get over a breakup?
Last Updated: 03/09/2020 at 11:25am
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
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In my personal experience, getting over a breakup is like learning how to tie your shoes as a kid. Not everyone does it the same way, goes through the same experience, but in the end, everyone does it. Somehow. My advice would be: don't let your emotions rule your life, but let them be heard. You need time to mourn the end of the relationship, but you do not need to let it take over. Watch lots of sad movies, eat lots of ice cream (or your favorite foods), and most importantly, surround yourself with those that care about you. Crying is optional, laughing is mandatory.
Think about some good things about the person you were in a relationship with. Realize that your life was enriched by the relationship, and that one day you will be a better partner to your life partner, partially thanks to what you learned in this relationship.
Try to get some closure between the two of you. It's also helpful to have support from family and friends who can be there for you and keep you busy.
Give yourself. Do not expect to feel great or perfect right way. But, be grateful for every time you feel better. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judging them. And it is usually better if you can maintain a distance from this person till you are over him/her.
Cry and listen to break up songs for three hours straight, then go to sleep and don't stress yourself with upcoming tasks. Instead, wake up the next morning and distract yourself. Don't look at your phone or expect anything. Just take time for yourself and listen to happier music. Get outside or call a friend or read a book you know you love.
The first and most important thing to do after any break up is give it some time to settle. Emotions can cloud judgment and reason, especially right after breaking up so the time allows reason to come back before doing anything rash or hasty. Regardless of whether you think it was a mistake or not, you have to keep going in life as if you are not going to get back together. It may be hard but this way you won't have any disappointments. The best thing to do is distract yourself with things you enjoy. It could be as simple as reading books to the extreme of skydiving. Whatever makes you happy, do it. Over time the pain of the break up will begin to fade and life will return to normal.
Just give yourself time, and more time. Don't be too harsh on yourself, because all kind of emotions are normal during and after breakup. All that numbness, grieve, hate and everything between. Be honest to yourself and talk to someone. The more you repeat over and over those thougths, the more you make progress and the easier it gets. Sometimes it will be too much to handle, and you can split that for a moment with a good movie. Watch a lot of movies. everything that feels natural. I myself watched a lot of really sad and anxious movies, because I wanted something to relate. I wanted rolemodels, a character who deals with the same issues. The same goes with music. You probably have already collected your own grieving/hate/surviving soundtrack, so go and repeat it over and over. After a while you may want to draw or write some of your thoughts down. Expressing your emotion is always a step more on getting over. I also recommend to hide everything that reminds of the current breakup. Style your room for your new lifestyle, this way you get something to do and some new personal space for you. Protip: the booze may give you some short-time peace, but for long-term it will only slow your progress down. its like shutting down the engine, that is getting you over. Sometimes it can even trigger you to go backwards. Try to keep your dosages at minimum, even if it were more socially accepted to drink or smoke during a heavy breakup. Think it as a way to attract your coming partners, or as a healthy revenge against your ex. .---)
I've been through break ups before. It hurt to really do anything, but I found distractions such as latch hooking, watching movies, and hanging out with friends. Everything gets better in time.
Breakups can be difficult to deal with , they can be tough but you are strong and your ill get over this with the correct mindset :) times like this when you feel down you should surround yourself with people who make you happy such as friends and family , also diving into hobbies and interests can help as you are kept occupied and busy which keeps your mind busy . Maybe even try something new rather than a hobbie ! Stay strong !
Here are just a few brief suggestions about letting go. To let go of an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, or spouse without closure: Write a letter to your ex, expressing yourself fully. Don’t send the letter right away (if ever). The letter can be as long as you need; you can add to it for days or weeks. Change your environment. If your ex moved out of the house, you might consider finding a new place to live. You might even consider moving to a different state or province. Explore a different lifestyle. My reader mentioned that she worked hard on her career; after the breakup, she might carve out more free time to explore her hobbies, travel, or take classes. Make new friends. You don’t need to abandon your old friends to find relationship closure. However, you may find it refreshing to build new friendships with people who don’t know you from your relationship days. Get counseling. I’m a huge fan of counseling because therapists help you see yourself and your love relationships objectively. A counselor can help you see why you’re having trouble letting go of an ex, and help you learn to find closure on your own. Recognize that you are responsible for your feelings. Nobody can “make you feel anything.” When you feel any emotion, you can choose whether to let that feeling sweep you away or derail it and put a more positive emotion in place. Those feelings of worthlessness or being unlovable are emotions you have control over – you do not have to feel that way.
Turn on the music and dance. Go out and try to have fun. Talk with your friends. Don't stay alone. And sometimes cry, if you need cry how hard you can.
Throwing yourself into other activities and distracting yourself helps (friends, family,sports, etc)
What really helps is to talk about it with people around you. You don't have to deal with it on your own.
start making good connections with your single friends and hang out with them. Always be in a group and get involve in your work
Spend time with friends. Engage in your hobbies. Find new hobbies. Write a letter to your ex, getting everything off your chest so you feel like nothing is left unsaid.
Meditation really helps, also, Eating healthy and sleeping well. Gettiing around friends helps too. Working out is a way to take the mind off of it and music is a great way. Never ever stalk your exes because you should accept the fact that they're gone. Time heals all wounds.
Occupying yourself with other activities to keep your mind off it, Spending your times with other emotional support such as your friends and family.
Talk to a confident and read self help books and looking over the break up as an experience and etching the lessons and think optimistic and to know u deserve better
concentrate on yourself, love yourself more, be better person, forgive and forget, pamper yourself, do everything for yourself and not for other people....
Go out with friends, get outside and do things. Find a hobby, watch movies. Don't dwell on the heartache. Find ways to cope in a positive way.
Hang out with friends and don't be alone. Keep busy and hangout with new people. Never know you might find someone else better
Eat a giant tub of chocolate icing, or another of your favorite foods, allow yourself X number of sad songs/crying; and when the allotted number is up, agree to yourself you won't be sad anymore.
Put on your best outfit - that outfit that makes YOU feel good about YOURSELF and smile. Then get your best friends around and have some quality time with them - whether it's going out or watching a really terrible film that you can't help but laugh at! Chocolate also helps.
There's a saying -- the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else -- but sometimes it's better to take some time off of relationships and focus on yourself and whatever nurtures you and expresses you. (I've tried both methods, different times...and they both worked LOL)
Keep yourself busy, find other ways to make yourself happy. Learn about yourself and figure out what makes you want to live every single day. Break ups are hard but believe me, it will get better
Distract yourself, remind yourself why this breakup is for the best, surround yourself by people and crying is always okay.
Getting over a breakup is tough. I feel the best way to move on would be to exercise regularly, be mindful about decision you make, eat healthy and take time out for you to breath relax and just be calm. Time will heal all
Some ways to get over a breakup is to go out with friends to take our minds off of it, talk with friends and family to let it all out, and write down our feelings in a journal.
Talk about it to someone. A friend, parent, or even a professional person. It never hurts to talk about it. Do something that makes you happy, even if you're feeling a little blue.
you can think about all the bad things about the person, everything you didn't like. It helps to go out with your friends, do things that make you happy, and you'll be surprised how much fun you can have
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