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What do I do if I love 2 people at once?

171 Answers
Last Updated: 08/07/2021 at 3:08pm
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Top Rated Answers
funkycherry13
June 12th, 2020 6:59pm
If polyamory isn't the option on the table - making your mind up would be the right call. This can be very difficult, but it has to be done as to not to continuously harm either of the parties. Following your heart and singling out who you would rather be with is something that has to be done. It is not an easy decision, but it is deeply personal and individual and it differs from person to person. On the other hand, if these people are okay with the practice of polyamory - introduce it and give it a shot!
Azrial666
July 12th, 2020 3:11pm
Love them both with all your heart. Don't hold back on either one of them and see how they reciprocate. It will all depend on how they can answer back to your feelings. But if it ends up in a situation where you can only choose one of the them then you have to follow your heart and go with the one which makes your heart skip a beat. Someone who'll love and cherish you for who you are rather than who they want you to be. Someone who's gonna accept the real you and is willing to spend their whole life along with you.
lyricalPillow74
July 31st, 2020 6:13am
You can love 2 or more than 2 people at once. It is absolutely okay. Love is not something that can be divided. Imagine a mother having 2 kids and a husband- don't you think she loves 3 people at the same time as well? But yes, if you are talking in terms of a romantic relationship, then yes- it often happens that we can miss two people at once. To be honest, I don't know what it means even though I have felt the same sometimes. It can be confusion, it can be unresolved conflicts or emotions, it could be lack of closure or anything. But what I do know is that it is very important to sort out our own feelings and understand what we really want and who we really wish to be with, because we alone know ourselves the best. But the most important thing of them all is to know ourselves and learn to love ourselves first :)
Anonymous
August 16th, 2020 6:50pm
This s a complicated question and it hugely depends on your situation. If you are currently with someone you love but also feel love for someone else many people would consider polyamory (the relationship including multiple people), an open relationship, or just telling your partner about your feelings for someone else and see how they react and have you both figure out this problem. But if you're feeling love for two people who are both not in a relationship with you it's good to explore both options. Get to know them both closer and see who you connect with better.
Anonymous
August 26th, 2020 1:57am
When it comes to love, love is a challenge. And to quote Pat Benatar, "love is a battlefield" That said, the feelings you carry for two people at once are perfectly valid. Do you love them both in the same way? Or is one just a friend and the other a potential partner? Or are they both in the same boat with regards to how you feel? I think it's important to go ahead and sit down and perhaps write out how you feel about both people and why. To help yourself clarify further what it is that you think or perhaps feel about these people in question. And then, the other piece of the puzzle is how do they feel about you? Having this convo with yourself and these folks will help you get a course of decision
hopefulRainbow6872
September 9th, 2020 6:41pm
Try to give separate time for both bot to get confused though. As we can handle easily two members at a time cause people do chat little slow and we can first open their chat and read what they are sharing and reply accordingly if there is some complex we can make sure that the other person d9esnt wait for long for our reply then told finding difficulty we can ask them that we are middle of something and after some time we would be available to react meanwhile they can have other listeners who can give support this will not make them feel bad
Anonymous
November 17th, 2020 2:31pm
Many people including both guys and girls sometimes have strong feelings for two people at once, and others might claim this is a problem. The important thing is that you consider what type of relationship you would like to have with these individuals. You could consider one a good friend or have another perspective. Intimacy and passion are based on mutual respect and desire so you should consider what you are comfortable with doing. An honest conversation can help a lot as that way you can cope with your feelings by sharing the information and thoughts you have. In order to move on, you do not have to live in fear or face any struggles. Sometimes people have affairs or secret meets but that is probably a challenge and stressful. Giving attention to your feelings could help clear your confusing thoughts and perhaps give you more insight into feelings like jealousy. Whether you have loved two people for a couple of months or years, it is a good idea to use words and communication to sort it out.
Rebekah
November 17th, 2020 7:31pm
Many, many people have been in this position (both men and women) - and it's a hard one! Through my own personal experience, I know exactly how tough it can be to love 2 different people. Some relationship experts argue that it's impossible to love 2 separate people; I disagree. It isn't a proven fact yet! While I'm not a relationship coach (it could be a good idea to see one, though!), I can tell you that having 2 (or more than 1, respectively) love interests is completely normal and valid. There is a difference between true love and romantic love, but it's really difficult to differentiate between them, and that's totally okay. There's no immediate need to make a choice (though there is a chance that you'll need to make one at some point, so it may be a good idea to prepare yourself for that). There are many different ways to assess this. Try to ask yourself if there's someone you love more than the other. Imagine yourself in a fully committed relationship with both of them - which looks better, feels better? You could even ask your family members for their opinion or support (though please be wary, they may be biased). Try to think, with both your heart and with your brain. Spend a relatively long time really thinking in-depth about who you love the most and who would offer you the most amount of happiness. Maybe you could chat with both of them to see who you connect with more. Don't spend too much time worrying about it, though, as it may be bad for your health! If you're in a current relationship with one of the two you're in love with, it may be a good idea to let the person know. If you're not in a relationship with one of them but are dating someone else, it may be a good idea to talk with them about your feelings, too. There is no best thing to do in this situation - all we can do is try our best! There's someone out in the world for everyone - maybe one of the people you're in love with them is that someone, or maybe a new person will come along at some point. We cannot tell the future, and don't know what it has in store for us.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2020 10:33pm
I have absolutely no idea how helpful this will be seeing as I've never been in love with multiple people. I once read somewhere that you should always go after the second person because if you fell for them then it means you were never really in love with the first to begin with. Obviously you should take some time and think about who you love more, what draws you to each individual? What would the pros and cons be for each individual? Try to picture yourself five, ten, and twenty years down the line with both of your options. At the end of the day you have to make a difficult choice, being open and honest with both people would be my final suggestion. Best of luck with your endeavors.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2020 1:45am
Talk to your partner regularly about your feelings. If you're seeing two people at once, let both parties know if your feelings regarding them change at any point in the future. It is going to be very important to try to determine who you truly love out of the two people that you're in love with. Though you might love two people, most situations are not going to allow you to keep two lovers. This is definitely seen as taboo in most mainstream cultures, although there are some exceptions that will be discussed later. Regardless, you need to do the right thing for the other people involved in this love triangle.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2020 6:29pm
Love is a beautiful thing. There's nothing wrong with loving anyone. The more the merrier! Being loving towards people are more welcoming than not. Being in love with two people at once can be a good thing or a complex depending on how you view the situation. Sometimes people have open relationships where they are with their main lover but accepting of another one or two individuals. It makes for a larger love group if theres a mutual understanding among everyone involved. It may be looked at as a healthier way of having a relationship without having to hide or sneak behind a partner's back, or lying. It may also be viewed as having a love -support system if that makes sense. This isn't an opinion or advice. Perspective is everything and only you can answer your own question properly once you've thought everything out thoroughly keeping everyones feelings into consideration.
TheRed0793
January 27th, 2021 2:01pm
Well there goes famous saying" If you ever fall in love with two people than choose the second one. Because you wouldn't have fallen in love with them if you loved the first one" So I guess it must have answered your question. I believe that you can't love two people (romantically) equally. There will always be slight difference in how much you love them. Maybe you are unable to take decision because you are scared of losing other person. And I understand it perfectly but sometimes you have to make choice. You can tell other person that you don't want to loose them. Many people are understanding and remain as friends. I hope that I have answered your question. Take care dear. Ana‚̧
gracefulDreamer6406
February 6th, 2021 1:37am
There is nothing wrong with having love for two people. It is how you express that love that becomes an issue, especially if you've promised yourself to one. Keeping one's promises, one's priorities, and being loyal are important, but these things do not have to be mutually exclusive to love. In honesty, there are only a few differences between the loving relationships and promised-loving relationships: 1) physical propriety, 2) respectful emotional sharing boundaries, 3) respectful recognition and allowance of receipt of love and affection from others. It is hard to know that you love another person, perhaps even moreso than the one to whom you are pair-bonded, but it just as important to show that person that you are loyal, respectful, and honorable of your commitments.
CuddlyPanda15
February 17th, 2021 9:40pm
A very wise person once said that if you love two people at the same time. Choose the second person cause if you loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the second person. I personally don't know if that's true but what I'd do would be to figure out my feelings by talking to both of them. Maybe by talking it out with them. I can figure out who I want to be with. Or just make a pros and cons list and whoever has more pros should be your choice. Hopefully you understand this and it helps
RoxyFantastic
April 2nd, 2021 2:28pm
You man up and pick one. It's unacceptable to allow a relationship to continue when your head is turned in another direction. If something is missing in a current relationship figure out "the why" and go from there... One of our evolutionary traits and abilities as humans is our ability to use critical thinking and higher reasoning, which helps us not to act impulsively "Me centric" behaviors damage reputations, break down trust, often require us to lie and almost always hurt us in the long run. If unsure of what to do a therapist might be helpful, just remember ending a primary relationship is not always the right decision.
SupportCat101
April 3rd, 2021 4:30pm
Being polyamorous is totally normal and many people feel this way and the capability to love multiple people at once. I suppose the most complicated part of this is deciding what to do with the relationship part of this. That comes with discussion, and the personal preferences of the people you love. If you are currently in a relationship with one of those people but not the other, you would need to be open and honest and let them know how you truly feel and perhaps have the option of an open relationship or something like that. I personally have no experience with this but I know it is totally normal and I imagine communication is one of the most important things you can incorperate in your decision here.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2021 6:09pm
We are capable of loving many people at the same time, but it is good to remember that there are different types of love, and re-evaluating the situation might help you get a clearer perspective on who you love and how you love them. It might be good to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, perhaps focus on yourself for a little bit and understand what needs you have and how best to fulfill those needs. Then you can pursue what is best for you in a way that is both healthy and fulfilling to your needs!
Magicshop97
June 10th, 2021 4:26pm
Love isn't something anyone should be ashamed of. Loving two people at once isn't really the problem. The problem comes with the expectations these people have for us. If we can be clear about were we stand, be honest and considerate about they're possible distress everything will work out on its own in the end. On the other hand, if we're not sure what our own expectations are from the love we feel about each person, it's better to take some time for ourselves and find out what we want. Feelings are human. We are human. The problems start with our reactions to our feelings. So, let's feel gratitude about the love and these two people coming to our lives and see how we can honor that luck by giving them the respect they deserve.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2021 5:22pm
Love is a complicated thing, and there are different kinds of love. Because there are different contexts for love, many people love multiple people at the same time, and it doesn't often present issues, because different contexts means there are different expectations of the people in the relationship. What is meant by "different contexts" of love? Well, loving someone in a familial way is different (and comes with different responsibilities and expectations) than loving someone in a friendly way, a romantic way, a sexual way, or a philosophical or spiritual way. How you love your mom is not the same as how you would love your spouse, and so forth. If you love 2 people at once, ask yourself whether you love them in a similar way, or in the same context. If you love them both in the same context, consider what is expected of you and them in those contexts. If it is a romantic or sexual love, is monogamy expected? If so, you may have to choose between them. If you and they are not looking for monogamy, then you may be able to have romantic or sexual relationships with both, if honesty and communication are employed. However, polyamory and polyfidelity as relationship styles require a lot of willingness, communication, and practice to work, and all parties will need to be on the same page in order to proceed in that manner.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2021 10:49pm
No one says you have to choose, you can love both ;). However, what is important is that there's communication. And if you have to choose, remember that you need to learn how to let go of the other person. Letting go of someone you love is hard, but so important for your mental health. You have so much love to give, but don't sacrifice your mental health for it. And make sure the person/people who love you also love you back, otherwise you will get hurt. Lastly, its important to love yourself but its okay if you are still learning to do that when loving others.
hopefulScenery3054
August 7th, 2021 3:08pm
I've heard people say that if you fall for two people go for the second person because it isn't love if you fell for someone else, i say that it is love regardless. You contain multitudes, you have your reasons for loving each of them right? Look into that. Look into what each of them brings out of you. Focus on yourself. Ask yourself if it is infact love you feel for the both of them. Speak to whoever you are in a relationship with and sort things out with that person first. And most importantly if you have to choose, choose yourself and what makes you happy.