What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?

306 Answers.
Last Updated: 01/23/2018 at 10:03am
What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Top Rated Answers
notnewton
November 2nd, 2014 11:57pm

I would recommend that you do not respond! Even if you still wish that you were with your ex, speaking to her will only hurt you more.

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Anonymous
January 22nd, 2018 6:03am

Looking for answers on the internet...we've all been there. I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community. Nobody is here to judge.

kashu510
July 1st, 2015 12:43am

Depending on the situation, if an ex continues to contact you, either hear them out or ignore them. If they ex broke up with you because they decided to pursue another relationship, I would suggest not picking up the phone. Chances are they are only talking to you because they are no longer happy with the relationship they left you for. If you broke up on mutual feelings and nothing has negatively escalated in your relationship, then I say hear them out. But it all depends on your understanding of the relationship.

Ali
August 1st, 2015 1:13am

You don't contact him back! It's the same as anything else, you don't want to encourage the bad behavior. They're your ex for a reason, remember that! Respect yourself and leave it alone. If it gets out of hand, you can tell them to stop, or just go to the authorities. But other than that, stay away.

LittleKeychain
August 7th, 2015 4:47pm

i think it all depends on what you want... In my case I like to stay friends with the people i've dated because they become someone I care for even if it cant be until a few months after the break up. Its hard for me to imagine that I would stop caring about someone i once loved. If its too hard to be friends after the break up I think you can be straight with them and let them know its not helping you to keep being in contact

Why does my ex keep contacting me?

Renora
February 5th, 2016 5:47pm

Believe it or not, I was the one who was hung up on the girl who broke up with me a few years ago. If someone feels that the relationship ends on bad terms, it's hard for the dumpee to accept because there simply isn't any closure. If you're trying to avoid your ex after dumping them, I'd say you give them if only a few minutes of your time to make sure he/she understands why you had to do what you did.

happyhelper3
October 25th, 2014 2:26pm

If I were in your shoes, I would tell them to leave me alone and then block any way for them to contact me.

Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 6:22pm

block him....seriously, if you don't really want him to contact you, there are ways...AND YOU KNOW THE WAYS YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT!!

peacefulNutella97
December 13th, 2015 3:03am

Do you want your ex to be contacting you? Maybe you want to be friends, in which case be nice and maybe you will be friends. If you dont want to be talking to your ex, then there are many things you can do. You can block their number, not respond, tell your ex to stop contacting you. Remember that you have the power here. If your ex is bothering you, you have the ability to think to yourself "no, I do not have to deal with you bringing pain into my life by contacting me" and you can not respond. I know I have an issue doing this because I feel bad, but dont light yourself on fire for someone else to feel warmth. If it makes you uncomfortable to contact your ex, remember not to feel bad and protect yourself first.

Anonymous
August 8th, 2015 4:20am

It's okay to talk to them. Just keep the conversations short; fifteen minutes at the most. Sound happy and do not get personal. If they start to get personal just keep your distance and remain friendly but not intimate. Ex is short for excommunicated. You can be friendly without being you ex's friend.

KristenBugg
November 15th, 2014 4:39pm

I think it really depends.if you do not want them to contact you, you could ask nicely for them to stop. However, if they continue then there is always a first step of blocking them from your phone and anything else they could get in touch with you on. IF you do want to talk to them.... I would cautious of their true intentions An ex is an ex for a reason! Never forget those reasons why you broke up to begin with. In my experince in that they only wanted to come back around when another girl didn't work out.

CourageousIceCream19
November 3rd, 2014 12:31am

I had something similar to this happen. You need to sit him/her down, or call them and tell them that it's starting to bother you and you're trying to distance yourself. If that's not helping, maybe it's time to get some of your friends involved to tell them your thoughts and feelings to show your sincerity about the situation. Block them on your social media accounts if necessary.

kittykat
August 13th, 2015 4:50pm

If your ex keeps contacting you against your will, it's best to set firm boundaries with them and tell them that you need space. If they ignore these boundaries, this is a form of harassment and you may need to get someone else involved. Depending on the level of harassment they're going to, this could qualify as stalking and you should get trusted loved ones or the appropriate authorities (or both) involved.

Paradox88
August 6th, 2015 6:50pm

Ignore it,if it does not work the first time why go for it a second time,in other words I suggest to your change phone number.

SheKnowsHope
June 24th, 2015 4:29pm

Well it depends on the context in which he is contacting you. If he is sending you unwanted messages and calls, you can politely ask them to refrain. The reality is, if you were together for a long time, you were an important figure in their life, and it isn't easy to lose someone you've known for time. So it is important that you're understanding of their behavior as well. If after you ask them to stop contacting you, they continue to do so, stop replying/begin ignoring them. If they do not stop, you can contact the authorities. If you feel the situation merits it. For the most part, with some ignoring, they'll give it up. (They're just broken).

monica889
October 19th, 2014 3:22am

If you do not want to keep in contact with him, let him know, be clear and honest. Also being mature and respectful helps. Remember that you dont have to do anything that disturbs you.

cosyheart21
September 17th, 2016 11:21pm

No Contact. It's hard going cold turkey, but it's so worth it in the end. If your ex contacting you is preventing you from moving on, blocking them, whether on text or social media, will really help.

Behappylovie101
November 15th, 2014 2:29pm

Don't be mean by not responding. They either still still like you and are trying to get over you or they want to make sure that everything is okay between you two

Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 11:59am

Never answer. Block them, change your number and just erase therefrom your life. People leave for a reason so they should stay gone.

Stormearth
July 12th, 2015 2:23pm

You tell straight out how you feel about it, and make the person see the things from your point of view.

coffeemanbren2
August 16th, 2015 3:27pm

block them. dont engage because it usually cant end well whether they are being hurtful or otherwise. block their number, block them on social media. stay in groups of people in public...harassers are afraid of groups of people and are less likely to provoke you if they see you in group.

illusionspark
October 8th, 2014 6:10pm

Ignore them. Let them know that you are no longer interested. Show them you are happy without me and never speak poorly of them.

GregS
October 16th, 2014 3:57am

Consider blocking their number, talk with the phone company they may be able to assist with this. Some smart phones have the ability to block certain callers. You might also consider changing your number and going unlisted.

TheTitanIsys
August 15th, 2015 7:16pm

Find a way to block all ways that he has to contact you. If he continues to pursue you, then you can get a restraining order on him.

Anggi
July 2nd, 2015 10:07pm

If you think you can handle it maybe agree to talk to your ex for one last time to end it for good and ask them to stop contacting you. If don't think you can the best thing to do is just to ignore them, they'll stop eventually.

BluePaws96
August 15th, 2015 3:23am

Well, I think it depends of the situation... If he or she has hurted you physically or psychologically you should NEVER respond his/her messages, for your own good block that person from every social media and try to avoid all contact. If it was a calm breakup and you think its a good idea to be friends with that person.. It's up to you, but I have never end up with a happy ending myself.

divinewillpower86
February 7th, 2016 9:00pm

If your past hurt or past love is there around you, then it's a sign of choosing something for you. You can either choose to say yes to the past Love or you can simply say No to the past hurt. However it all depends on the past conditions and the person you are now.

Beckyy
September 30th, 2014 7:51pm

I would block their number, remove and block them from any social media and if they do manage to contact you, ignore them! They'll soon get the message that you don't want to talk to them

Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 12:25am

Contact them telling they need to stop or you will contact authorities. Be firm, dont leave any gray lines, and be clear.

BloodiedClaws
February 11th, 2016 7:18am

Change your phone number. Block 'em on every site known to man. Gather evidence if they're harassing you. Then eat some popcorn or something.

Brittneym101
October 25th, 2014 10:40pm

Don't Ignore he/she. They could be very well having a hard time getting over you. Just tell them how you feel even if it may not be the same as they feel and they may stop. If you ignore them it could get them false hope into thinking that you just don't want to talk at that very moment and that you may come around on down the line.

animalShiny52
August 13th, 2015 9:41pm

Maybe you should think about the situation again. You might have still feelings but are they the rest of the feelings you had or is there still a fire burning inside for the other person? Also think about why you broke up: Was it a serious reason? Would the reason why you'd broken up still be a problem? And if you are really sure what you feel tell your ex your feelings.

hsmiranda22
January 6th, 2016 8:43pm

Block their number. Even in the case that you miss them too, if you truly want to move on it's best.

piag860517
February 24th, 2016 5:15am

Stop answering...not even a hello...block him or her/ change your number and don't look for that person again becouse if you do you have them hopes; and then thy don't leave.

Anonymous
October 31st, 2014 5:07pm

Tell them, be firm. If they still do, block them out or just move away from being accessible. It's harsh but that's the only way you both will have space to move on.

peacefulSoul70
January 29th, 2016 3:15pm

what do you do if your ex keeps contacting you? You can possibly block him from your contacts or get a new number which one works best for you

BroadwayBaby
November 17th, 2014 4:39pm

All you gotta do is tell them to go away. Explain why you feel uncomfortable with it. Maybe they'll understand that.

hailey2016
August 13th, 2015 9:37pm

Just tell your ex that you are trying to move on but you can still be friends and just contact them once a week or less if you would like just to see how their life is going. But if you dont want to be friends or they are harassing you you could block their number.

Anonymous
January 3rd, 2016 2:58pm

I'd say block them if you don't want them talking to you, and if they continue, consider contacting the police for assistance or a trusted friend/relative if you are scared of going to police.

JohanDwanian
May 9th, 2016 8:59pm

If your ex keeps contacting you and contact is not something you want or need you have to cut that contact. If telling your ex does not work you'll have to block or remove the means of contact for it to happen. It can be healthy for both parties to be able to let go and deal with things. You can always resume contact in the future if you both feel it is appropriate.

K4ye
September 25th, 2014 1:14pm

I would keep in touch sometimes, but no more than maintaining the relationship to prevent us from hating each other. And, while doing that, I will take time to configure my feelings, and decide what to do about it. If i know we are not going back together, I will make it clear for him, but tell him that we could always be friend

Kathlyng90
October 24th, 2014 11:48pm

It depends on if you'd like to keep in touch. If not, which it sounds like, simply explain to them that at this time you think it's best to go your separate ways. Do not be mean, or hurtful since they have feelings as well, and the intention isn't to hurt them.

Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 1:56am

if you still like him then take it if you don't then call the police

Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 4:51am

You can maybe politely ask him to respect your privacy and not try to engage in uninvited conversation unless its mutal. If this doesn't work you can block him off your social media handles and use appropriate tools available in privacy settings of all major social media sites. You can ask your close friends and trusted allys to make sure you dont have to share companys at any parties or outings. If your partner tries to do stuff beyond your comfy level, feel free to contact your local authorities or the concerned officials. For most of my cases a good conversation, asking them to accept the end of the relation and respect each others personal space usally works. Good luck!

lovemeforever6
February 6th, 2016 4:13am

Ask him to stop if he doesn't follow your request block all communications with him via text social media and or by phone.

Anonymous
January 2nd, 2017 6:29pm

If it is bothering you and keeping you from moving on, then I guess it is time to make your boundaries really clear to them. Tell them how you honestly feel and that you can't continue to stay in touch because it is not going to be healthy for you as well as your ex. If there is no other way they would stop, you might have to block them from all platforms. Remember the reason(s) why the relationship ended and stick to the decisions you made for your own good. Letting them interrupt your life will keep you from building yourself up and being independent again. So check with yourself again - what will be good for you? And then make sure you stick to it.

Hannah716
October 7th, 2014 10:02pm

Politely tell them it is in your best interest not to contact them anymore. Staying in contact with ex's is often not a good idea.

Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 11:22pm

if asking him politely does not stop him, what i found most useful was to seek one of his friends for help, no one's friends wants to see that person making a fool of itself. what is most important is that you dont stop doing the things you like or going to the places you usually frequent because an ex is making you feel uncomfortable

willxhelp
August 13th, 2015 12:42pm

You just have to talk to him and make him understand that you moved on and he have to move on as well

Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 2:52am

Answer it and ask him what he wants so you will know. And then its up to you to make decisions. In Tha way.. You can either tell him to stop

Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 12:30pm

Well, you can be friends with him/her. If you feel like being disturbed, be straightforward.I hope your ex understands!

RobfromUK
February 12th, 2016 2:30am

This happened to me and there is honestly nothing wrong with deleting.blocking their number and from facebook or anything like that, if you decided thats what you want then you should go through with that decision.

PeaceWalker
May 9th, 2016 3:50am

It might seem harsh or difficult at the time, but you simply need to block communications with them.

Aniikama
August 2nd, 2016 3:47am

It's possible they may still like you. Just explain to them you wish not to talk to them and block them.

Uniqueg
October 23rd, 2014 9:56pm

It depends if it makes you uncomfortable, let them know how it makes you feel and be firm with your decision.

Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 8:58pm

From my personal experience I can tell you that ignoring is the best way. You can block persons almost in every app nowadays. And if he/she won't stop calling you, changing your number may be an option.

tidyKiwi5130
January 6th, 2016 9:58pm

You should tell them to stop if its bothering you. If they don't you can ignore it or block them all together, because no one should be allowed to bring you down :)

cianbrennan
January 7th, 2016 8:16am

Continue blocking him/ her, repeated attempts are just demonstrations of being desperate. Any contact with your ex immediately after a breakup is not a good idea at all, emotions are still highly strung and it's highly unlikely anything productive will come from an exchange. Leave it for a few months until you're sure that you're over the relationship and then maybe attempt contact to resolve any issues you may have but only if you want to. You're the only person who can give yourself closure.

wecanbeheroes
January 23rd, 2016 3:51pm

Your ex keeps contacting you. You don't want to talk to him/her for some reason. Would you like to talk about that?

Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 4:36am

If you don't want nothing with him, tell him to stop annoying you, and if he keeps doing it block him

Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 12:08am

I had this same issue. This girl is persistent. After telling her in person and through text not to contact me anymore, she would totally disregard and still keep going on. She actually said to block her #, but then make a fake # the following day to text me. This was a special case. I had to go to the police. While i was at the police station, she showed up at my house. Officers came and told her not to come back. I hope she finally got the hint since me saying it outright wasn't enough. I spent some time here with a listener about it. The listener really helped for me to at least get it off my chest and tell my story. The sad truth, is that this girl is 33 with 2 kids yet still acts like this. Can you imagine? Best of luck in your situation. I know it's not a picnic by any means.

Recent Answers
PedroMAlves1992
January 8th, 2018 12:28am

If you really want to move on then the only option is to block her/him on all social media and on phone messaging.

Anonymous
March 7th, 2017 4:20pm

What I did when my ex kept contacting me. I simply blocked his phone numer / any social media. Just banning someone out of your life might sometimes just make your life better especially if they hurt you.

Anonymous
October 3rd, 2016 7:46pm

You should start by asking them nicely to stop contacting you and if that doesn't work then maybe you should just try and block them or if it gets really extreme call the cops

Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 11:50am

You can 'block' him/her in ways such as social media. You could also remove the contacts that both of you save each other numbers

delightfulHand34
September 21st, 2016 9:00pm

If you have moved on they need to know if taking doesn't get through to them although it may seem harsh it is as easy as anything to press the block button on them, no more messages

Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:00pm

Block or delete them so they cannot contact you, there an ex for a reason. Moving forward in your life is best instead of holding onto the past,

Anonymous
September 17th, 2016 9:00pm

If you arent fond of them contacting you, simply ask them to please stop and leave you alone. You shouldn't feel like you are put in a corner.

heythereyousmiles
September 14th, 2016 2:28pm

If your ex keeps contacting you ysoy can tell him to stop. If he doesnt stop block his number or fb or whatever he can talk to you on. Of he somehow keeps messenging you after all that you can go to the cops and they can do something because if hes/ shes gone through this much work theybare stalking you

serenekindness66
June 7th, 2016 6:55am

Don't respond in anyway. Responding will only promote more contact. If necessary change your phone number, email, and any other contact information. Your friends will understand and it will be worth the effort.

courtneybug
April 25th, 2016 8:33pm

I would recommend you blocking their number. If they continue to find ways to contact you, please contact the police. Good luck.

Anonymous
April 19th, 2016 5:34pm

You could try telling a trusted adult to help you out with this issue, or you can try telling him to stop contacting you if its making you feel uncomfortable or threatened.

Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 1:09am

Calmly explain to them that you do not wish to keep contact with them and ask them to stop messaging you. If that doesn't work, block their number so you don't receive the messages anymore.

Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 4:49pm

Tell them to stop stop calling and if they don't, then tell them you are going to call the police and if they keep calling you then call the police and report them or just block them on the phone.

caringShiny86
February 6th, 2016 3:27am

Block them ,,,or file a restraining order...if neither works ,just move to a new place for a fresh start

hearnospeaknoseeno
February 5th, 2016 6:41am

Change phone numbers. It is the most effective way, so much so that I'm considering adding this as a new skill to my resume.

Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 8:41am

If the ex is harassing you or bothering you, the best thing to do would be blocking anything they are able to contact you with.

soccer12811
January 29th, 2016 1:21am

I had an ex do this to me, you just ignore them. Delete their texts, hit the little red button when they call.

briaannasaurus
January 24th, 2016 7:27pm

You should ignore them and block them. Make it clear that you don't want them to reach you. If they consistently try and contact you, confront them in person with a friend and tell them to stop.

Anonymous
January 24th, 2016 7:21pm

Ask them to stop contacting you. If it's over social media, block them. If it's over text, block them and change your number

lizzygrant
January 24th, 2016 9:38am

block him or just talk to him about that, you won't feel better until that happend

Elleh
January 21st, 2016 10:47pm

I think that depends on your relationship and the breakup really. If you were on good terms then perhaps you can politely ask them to stop contacting you and that will be enough. If it wasn't so good and/or asking them to stop hasn't worked then it might be best to block them from contacting you where ever possible. If they still won't leave you alone and you feel you are being harassed by them then this more serious and it will probably best to speak to someone about this and get some extra help and support, especially if you need to report them to the authorities. If it is bothering you and making you feel bad then it is not acceptable and you do not have to put up with this.

Righthere321
January 21st, 2016 12:35am

All depends on how messy the breakup was, how you feel towards your ex now, and what they are texting.

Alyssaaaaa
January 17th, 2016 3:49pm

If your ex keeps on contacting you and it makes you feel uncomfortable or doesn't do you any good (i.e. in terms of moving on, for example,) then you can be honest with him and tell him that you don't want to talk anymore and would want to have some time alone. Just make sure that you don't sound rude, but be honest with him as well. Tell him why you don't want him to contact you anymore. After that, you can wait for his response. If he still contacts you, and if you are really bothered by it, then maybe you can block him.

Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 6:30pm

I would ask him politely ask him to stop. If he does not, then I would try blocking his calls and text messages.

Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 6:11pm

You should ask him to stop or block him or her. You don't need to have him or her intruding ........

Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 4:34am

Inform them that you do not wish to be contacted, if they continue block them and then if they find other ways contact the police as this i believe is a form of harassment.

Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 6:40pm

I had an ex who kept contacting me, insulting me and stalking/hacking me. I let this go on for a few weeks thinking it would stop. It didn't so i went to the police

WillowSmiles21
January 10th, 2016 1:14am

If he is nothing you, depending on the extent. I would recommend either asking him to stop and deleting him or blocking him.

musicalDew34
January 7th, 2016 7:33pm

Talk to them. See to that matter. If you are intrested too then its good else call 911.................

chanelellierhea5
January 6th, 2016 11:20pm

If your ex keeps contacting you after a break up when you don't want to hear from them, make sure you are clear to them that you do not want any contact with them and if they still continue to contact you, I recommend blocking their number and profiles from social media.