Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?

310 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2022 at 5:27pm
What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Portugal
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
HumIlityTurnsMenToAngels
August 12th, 2015 4:29am
Show how strong you are, and dont reply, stand by the decisions that have been made. That is one thing about being a grown up, you must stand by your decisions,
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 12:51pm
No relationship should be deprived of compassion - But, do give them the clarity of where you stand with them, and you can't fulfill their expectations for certain reasons. Personally, I would try and keep things on a positive note. However, if they're abusive or irrational then you might decide to take a more firm action...
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 7:31pm
If my ex boyfriend keeps contacting me I take a step back and remember the reason why we stopped talking in the first place.
lunasaver
July 3rd, 2015 3:45am
Depends on the situation If they hurt you in anyway, you ignore them. Never run back to what hurt you. If you both still love each other, try it again. Everyone deserves a second chance, but not for the same reason.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 7:45pm
Avoid at all cost. Your ex,consciously made a decision to keep you away from being a part of their life. Now they are back either because they are curious or because of desperation to
TomUK64
May 15th, 2015 6:04pm
I found that difficult. I was with my first partner for nearly 9 years. We split up just before he went to prison. I then discovered that he had been living a double life and had another partner in another flat in London. I had no idea. When he went to prison (money fraud - again - I had no idea), I felt so stupid and gullible. Of course I should have known. The signs were there but I ignored them. Then he contacted me and wanted me to visit him in prison. I thought - why? He's just put me through hell. But I did visit him and, looking back, I realise that I did it for me. It helped me put him into the past. It also helped me accept that I would possibly never get all the answers to all the questions that I had. But that was ok. I could move on. When I started dating again, it was difficult to trust someone. I remember following a boyfriend to work one day just to double-check that he was actually going to work! So it took a while to re-build my trust for someone else. But, one step at a time, I did learn to trust again. Years later, I'm happily married and that time feels a lifetime ago.
maskedanonymous
July 4th, 2015 3:59pm
If you hate him, call him back and make sure he sees or hears and regrets the one that he let go. Boom.
openmindopenheart7
June 23rd, 2015 5:25am
Don't look backwards, keep moving forward onto something new. Theyre your EX For a reason, don't forget.
Marissa2163
June 26th, 2015 2:17am
Politely tell them to stop trying to contact you and if they still try to keep in contact then you should block them from whatever they are contacting you through. They will get the picture and its simple.
cellardoor1985
June 27th, 2015 1:16am
try your best to explain your position and that it is best for him/her to move on. try to be patient and understanding with them with possible, but always keep your personal boundaries your top priority.
lizzygrant
January 24th, 2016 9:38am
block him or just talk to him about that, you won't feel better until that happend
Alyssaaaaa
January 17th, 2016 3:49pm
If your ex keeps on contacting you and it makes you feel uncomfortable or doesn't do you any good (i.e. in terms of moving on, for example,) then you can be honest with him and tell him that you don't want to talk anymore and would want to have some time alone. Just make sure that you don't sound rude, but be honest with him as well. Tell him why you don't want him to contact you anymore. After that, you can wait for his response. If he still contacts you, and if you are really bothered by it, then maybe you can block him.
heavenlyWinter
December 17th, 2015 1:35pm
If your ex is contacting you for good reasons i think you can be friends. we dont have to ignore anyone.
7CupsOfEspresso
December 13th, 2015 4:12am
Explain that you have no interest in reconnecting with them. If they continue to harras you, contact legal help.
unicorn82
December 13th, 2015 8:07am
Ask them to stop politely. Usually we tend to give a reaction but if we surprise them with calm and polite manner then they'll be overwhelmed to a point they don't know how to react
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 6:30pm
I would ask him politely ask him to stop. If he does not, then I would try blocking his calls and text messages.
Lazurus
December 13th, 2015 8:19am
Tell him/her how U feel on the subject hope he/she stops and comes to realise what it's doing to you
thatgirl1269
December 13th, 2015 10:37pm
That depends on whether you want the contact. If you don't, politely ask him/her to stop. If they won't, change your cell/mobile number/home number and ignore contact with them. Block them on Facebook. If they are a danger to you, call the police - don't think they will just "go away" - some people can become aggressive and if you're dealing with that type of person, it's best to seek professional help (ie. the police).
AtomicHugs
December 16th, 2015 11:26pm
If blocking fails,and he still tries to contact you.Then save all his messages,calls and text and file a police report.Inform close friends and your work that you want no contact with this individual.
StormyAngles18
December 17th, 2015 12:31am
well if you want them to contact them then ok but if not tell them how you feel about them contacting you but do it in a polite manner
RedRagna90
December 18th, 2015 4:51pm
You should reply him in a mature manner. Although, if you're not comfortable with it, you could bring it up to him, and told him that you may need some space at the moment. Avoiding it wouldn't solve the issue, approaching it may :)
BatWings89
December 19th, 2015 10:13pm
Clearly state that you do not wish to be contacted, block them on social media, loose their number and ignore any other contacts, if you do not wish to interact with them any more.
Heretohelp999
December 19th, 2015 7:38pm
I recommend you speak to them and explain that they're bothering you or maybe block their account or phone number
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 6:54pm
Simple solution. Block their number and just ignore them. Simple. Just don't talk to them and if it gets to harassment then tell someone
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 6:11pm
You should ask him to stop or block him or her. You don't need to have him or her intruding ........
unassumingLemon1953
December 12th, 2015 8:06am
It depends what they're contacting you about and why you guys broke up in the first place. If they claim they have changed their ways, test that anonymously, and then make a decision on if they're worthwhile or not. Unless you don't want to get back together of course, but honestly I want to get back together with my ex.... If they are bullying you, then remove them from your life completely. Delete the texts, remove and/or block them on social media, and just don't respond to whatever they say.
MrRoboticWrites
December 17th, 2015 10:33am
If you've asked them to stop and they wont maybe try and block them on whatever platform they are contacting you on. On the other hand, you could try talking to them, asking why they keep contacting you.
TheITGuy
December 17th, 2015 12:30pm
That depends on what you want. Do you want to stay in touch and try keeping a friendship? Or do you want her to stop? You can everytime communicate to other people what your wishes upon such topics are!
CuddlyOasis98
December 17th, 2015 2:17am
Its okay to stay in contact with your ex its even fine when you are friends its okay. But if you don't like to be in contact with your ex maybe you should consider telling them about it.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2015 5:36pm
I'd start off by asking him/her to stop and if that doesn't work I'd block the number and if he/she found a way to contact you again I would warn him/her that you are going to report him/her harassment and if he/she does it again report him for harassment