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what does it mean when he says he doesn't want to break up but he is not sure if he loves you anymore?

198 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2022 at 2:58pm
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Brenda King, PsyD

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I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 6:40pm
The only person who knows what he means by this is him. No one can tell you how he feels but himself. He may mean that he wants to be with you for sex, money, gifts, so as not to be lonely or another reason without the emotional attachments. However, he may also feel love and have feelings for you, but is not in the best mental place to explain how he feels, or isn’t sure how he feels himself but would like to take some time before making a decision so as not to make the wrong one. It could be one of many things, and you should really ask him what he means by this as soon as possible.
Anonymous
May 6th, 2021 7:08am
It means that he is unsure and why would you want to be around a person that has to think and rethink if they want to be with you or not. He is most likely more confused than he lets on.. It means that he wants to take a break to figure out what's really going on in his heart and mind.. It means that he is scared to break up because of the change it would make on both your lives.. People can easily become attached. Even if they know they shouldn't be with someone anymore, they still can't help but hesitate..
happyPainting9989
May 6th, 2021 1:49pm
He is maybe not sure if he wants to continue the relationship. he may need time to think and decide what he wants to do next. he can take this decision on his own or spend some time with his partner to decide what he exactly feels for her. Time is a very good ure time is a good answer for every question. like they say time heals. the relationship may also heal with time and very soon. spending time together or going out together doing some activities together like going for a long walk can give enough time for both to decide whats best for both of them.
SoftMoonlight000
June 2nd, 2021 1:36pm
There are multiple perspectives. Love can be infatuation driven by hormones, it fades. The individual may still want to maintain a relationship and put effort. It can be a good sign. It could also mean that they don't feel love, but think that the slump is temporary and will overcome it since it can be a personal thing in their mentality. It could also mean that they are unhappy in the relationship, but don't want to give up because they care about it. There are many things it can mean, it's important to understand their thoughts more accurately then.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2021 12:15pm
It probably means you two might need some time away from each other to figure out your feelings. He may not want to break up because he doesn't want to make a decision yet about his feelings. He doesn't want to lose you just yet over his unknown feelings. Being unsure if you love someone is normal in any relationship, he needs to just have some time to understand if he loves you or not. If this makes you upset, ask for a break to allow you both time to figure out your feelings for each other without breaking up.
crang17
November 3rd, 2021 4:17pm
When someone says that he does not want to break up but he is not sure if he loves you anymore is indicative of a confused state of mind and heart. The person might be in a crisis that causing him to confuse his different emotions, wants, and needs in life. If he says he does not want to break up, it means that he still wants to continue with the relationship but in need of some space to breath and fully understand one's feelings. There is still hope but understanding on the other party is crucial in the development or destruction of the relationship. He needs time to know himself better.
happyIceCream4246
December 5th, 2021 5:23pm
when a person is unsure about a decision that is that big. he or she might take measures that will lead to an unknown road. For example, a person that isnt sure that they love another person they try to run away from the main problem and come up with other reasons to hide what they are trying to say. This may be related to insecurities, and uncertainties from the person that is saying this. If a person treats someone like this he or she must move along to a place where they can feel the certainty of being loved.
RainbowClouds4282
December 15th, 2021 9:45pm
It may mean exactly what he has said -- that he's confused and needs time to think. True, he may be struggling with whether you are a good match, but he may be struggling with something entirely different, even unrelated. His friends may be pressuring him to be single or his mother to get married. When a man is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic. He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the 'hot' phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he's catching feelings for you.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2022 2:08am
It means that he is using you as a time-filler until he finds someone else. Saying he is not sure if he loves you anymore is an excuse for not making any promises or commitments. Even the use of 'not sure' is a wicked ploy to keep you hooked and hoping that one day he might change his mind and realise he loves you. So instead of saying he doesn't love you and ending it, he is saying he is not sure to keep the door to you half open so he can keep getting in and out on his own terms. By not wanting to break up but claiming he is not sure about his feelings, he is making maximum gains, staying in your life and mind and getting your feelings and time and attention and everything he wants from you, yet at the same time being ready to walk away whenever it suits him.
AWordyHopeFiend
February 19th, 2022 1:19pm
Regardless of the word love. I myself would much rather have loyalty. Loyalty means Honesty, Openness, Communication, and respect. He could be wanting to sit down with you and talk to you about the relationship good or bad, it will be okay. You have people here at 7cups whom care about you and we are here to listen. Relationships are a Rollercoaster. Give him some space if he comes around great if not.. be aware of mind games and manipulative antics. If he says he doesn't love you that's a super huge big red flag glaring at us in the face and we need to accept it for what it is.
usefulBubbles6826
February 25th, 2022 9:48am
May be he wants to keep something that he loves from the relationship, but he feels like something has gone missing. Maybe he is afraid of losing stability, or an important friendship that also is an aspect of the relationship. It's also possible that he feels a lack of thrill that is just naturally fading away when romantic relationships grow to be more secure. But what's the case here, is hard to tell without knowing more about the situation. All I can guess is that he is missing something - which can be be something in the relationship, something from the partner or something within himself - but at the same time he is afraid of losing something.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2022 9:06pm
If he says he doesn't want to break up but he isn't sure if he loves you anymore, then that is not fair. He doesn't want to break up because he doesn't want to feel alone or he is comforted by the presence of you. He loves the idea of having a partner and having love but his feelings are different. You deserve to be with someone that loves you and has those feelings, even if it's hard to leave someone you love. Do not blame yourself because sometimes feelings change without any reason and it is ok. Choose yourself.
ElhamRajabi
March 17th, 2022 5:03pm
He may need time to process how is he feeling towards you. He is unsure and does not want to lose you in the process in case he still has feelings towards you. Allow him the space to understand why is feeling that way and maybe he will love you again. If it does not work out, do not feel disheartened. He probably still cares for you but does not love you anymore. This is better because he will let you know how he feels once he processes his emotions and by giving him the space he needs, he can think about it and not be distracted by external things.
Lizhereforyou
April 23rd, 2022 9:30am
He clearly doesn't want a breakup. For him, relationship is not only about love but rather more about the time, effort, commitment that you've already build. He doesn't want a break up even though he's not sure if he love's you anymore because he doesn't want you gone. He also probably care about your feelings that you might get hurt during the break up. He may also don't like any drama and choose to stay in a relationship without even prioritizing his feelings. Or probably giving himself a chance to access the situation first and trying to figure out his true feelings towards you.
IshaloveA
April 23rd, 2022 11:06am
He is unsure of his feelings towards you and might not feel the same special bond as before but he is still attached and used to you. And maybe he even still cares for you. He probably needs more time to figure out a few things before he could decide whether to commit to you or to break up. Or maybe he is too attached and scared of breaking up and not having you around. Or maybe he doesn't want to hurt you with the break up and wants to continue building the relationship even when he can't feel the love for time being. He wants to wait it out and be sure if he wants to give up on the relationship or not
brightCloud9846
June 3rd, 2022 9:51am
one thing I learned from my last relationships, is that if someone loves you they won't be having doubts, and they'll be sure about you. what he said is kinda selfish, he wants to have all the good stuff that comes with the relationship, the care, the love, support... but he isn't sure if he loves you back, I'd say move on and break up with him, why wait till he's sure about you? you should see your worth and know that you only deserve someone who knows that he loves you truly. Never settle girl!! it's gonna hurt a lot at first, but then you'll be happy because you didn't settle.
magicalShoe2451
June 12th, 2022 6:52pm
To me It means that further discussion should be had between the two of you, I would ask why he still wants to stay together if he is uncertain about his feelings about you. I feel as though there may be something he is going through in other areas of his life that have nothing to do with your relationship with him. Sometimes, we are hesitant to share with others how something is making us feel in fear of judgment or a lack of understanding from the other person. Unfortunately, not everyone is equipped with the same level of communication skills. I would ask if something is going on and assure him that you are his team-mate and will support him through whatever is going on.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2022 2:58pm
This indicates that possibly he is confused about the relationship. Perhaps his expectations of what he wants, needs, or the desires in the relationship are not being fulfilled? It also can indicate perhaps that he wants 'out' if the relationship because of ANOTHER person in his life or just wants to be alone and focus on something else, like school and other activities beneficial to himself and his well-being? Sometimes the physical vs mental expectations of a relationship can cause confusion as to which has the highest importance? Love also is a relative notion and can be looked at in many different ways