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What is a good way to get your mind off of the breakup when everything around you reminds you of the person you lost?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 6:30pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
April 28th, 2015 5:54am
Get rid of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that reminds of that person. Delete those messages. Shred those letters and pictures (Or at least put them somewhere you won't be able to see them). Stop stalking them online. Keep yourself busy. If you find yourself thinking about them call a friend and ask them to hang out or watch a movie (Not a romantic-heartbreaking one). Don't listen to songs that remind you of them. Become more social, go places where you can meet new interesting people. Don't just lie in bed in the morning/before you fall asleep thinking about them, when you wake up just get up immediately, don't go to bed unless you know for sure that you're gonna fall asleep as soon as your head lays on the pillow. And as I said before, keeping yourself busy is all you need.
January 25th, 2016 2:38am
Listen to your body. If it says the best thing for you to do is go out with friends, go out. If it says today you need to stay in bed and cry, cry. You know what's best for you, listen to yourself.
November 10th, 2015 2:02am
Distractions. Surround yourself with friends and fun activities! And remember that you broke up for a reason and that you deserve better :)
July 6th, 2015 9:34am
Try not to focus on all of the good things about the person that has broken up with you. Be realistic and think about the things you don't like about the person.
February 11th, 2018 12:15am
If we are being honest, there really is no direct way to take your mind off of a breakup. Breakups are inevitable, sometimes we cannot control them. The best way in my opinion is to try and keep your distance from not them, but the situation. Surround yourself with people who you care about and people who love you. Keep in mind the best thing you need is time. Everybody needs time to heal after a breakup. It is extremely important to accept that things may not go as planned, and be optimistic about letting yourself go from the situation. A break up is not the end of the world, just the end of an era.
May 20th, 2015 3:20pm
Change everything around you as much as you can. Go out to new places you never did with that person. Store away possessions or things you once shared. Its almost like painting your room a new color, changing the bed sheets and carpet. I remember having to replace my cell phone. Too many painful memories. And delete them. Their texts, emails, facebook, everything. Write down how you feel and reflect but dont over-analyze every detail or try to make sense of the break up. Don't fear loneliness, use that time to discover who you are again and admit your mistakes constructively. Don't harbor animus or guilt. Look forward to a new beginning. And look only straight forward. And also forgive them, forgive yourself. Because love is the hardest equation to master. No one ever has.
January 17th, 2017 6:54pm
You could try to find some new hobbies and interests - even some new soothing music. You could take some time to talk to friends about other things. Also I had someone recommend to me changing your ringtone as that can help in not being reminded of the person. Most of all give yourself time to heal and be kind to yourself. You can't erase the past, but things really do feel easier with time.
February 20th, 2018 9:31pm
Breakups can be awful, the thing that kept my ex off my mind the best was being around friends or engaging in activities. I found that i even forgot to think about him, however, once i was by myself again my thoughts trailed back to him. Though with time, the nights got easier and the days went by less painfully. It may be cliche, but time heals all.
June 7th, 2015 10:38am
I think the best way is by, stepping out yourself and start looking at yourself, which i think is the most healthiest because you reflect upon what way is going to be best for you, and which is going to support you in the long run.
July 20th, 2015 9:14am
Trying things that you weren't able to try when you were with that person because of them. Distract yourself doing some exercise or going out with your friends, watching comedy series... So many good ways!
October 26th, 2015 1:21am
Try starting out by exploring yourself and what you love. Start trying new things and learn to love yourself so you don't have to depend on others to give you the love you deserve. Self love is very important.
February 12th, 2019 1:56pm
Try to retransform your life by doing everything different then what you did with your ex. Because the more you do the same thing that you and your ex did the more it is going to remind you of your friend. It is normal in a break up to think about your ex and the things that you miss from your friend. However, life goes on and you have to begin to try new things and create new enjoyments that is outside of what you used to do with your ex. Whatever, you do don't quit on yourself and refuse to stop living because of your past relationship. I wish you nothing but the best as you continue to move forward with your life.
October 26th, 2015 10:32pm
Definitely keep yourself busy and surround yourself with all the things that make you happy ! Also, try writing how you feel. Although it may bring you back to the sad situation but it will only you to vent out your feelings when you feel as though you can not talk to anyone else.
April 6th, 2015 4:15am
Delete contact, pictures , messages. Share your feelings. Go out with friends.Get a new hobby . Read
July 14th, 2015 10:24am
Be honest.. Straight and upfront about it.. "I don't want you to talk about him or her... In my presence.. For a little while." And this is out of respect for YOU! I if that doesn't really work out Take a break. Visit your lil'ol grandma.. :) it's a fresh start and a needed distraction. Because let's face it, reality is, you can't avoid every single person you've ever known. So maybe it's time you take time off for yourself for a little while.. Get a fresh perspective on things and people.. Then come back.. And tackle the issues at hand.
April 26th, 2016 4:17am
The idea is to accept where u are now and let go of the past. Create new memories of the places that reminds u of the lost. Memories can turn into good ones if you put a little effort to make it that way.
June 14th, 2016 12:13pm
You have to just eat some good food. You should also take yourself on a date. Forget about the worlds problems and focus on yourself.
November 7th, 2017 11:30pm
Spend time with some friends and family . Focus on u, new hobbies . Working out at the gym or going for walks
March 30th, 2020 6:30pm
It may seem counter intuitive, but giving yourself a few times or even once a day for x amount of minutes to think and grieve about your ex can help your brain stop running on the rumination wheel. You can set up a scheduled time for your grieving, and then set a timer for, lets say, 5 minutes. After the timer ends, you stop actively thinking/grieving, and move on to activities that stimulate your mind. Some people enjoy doing things that require repetitive motions, like knitting, carving, doing dot work/hatching art. Anything that keeps your hands busy will eventually keep your mind busy, as it is focused on keeping your hands moving rather than thoughts in your head. Are there any songs/places/foods/etc that remind you of them and you have an intense well of heartbreak if you heard/taste/see? Reclaim those things for yourself. Yes, once they were a special thing for both of you, but it won't always be. Nothing will ever be always for "the two of you" because "the two of you" may not last. But you what does? You do. You last, and it is certain. Slowly inch your way towards these once shared items, and start finding things about them that make YOU happy, and only you. This is somewhat similar to exposure therapy; the more you open yourself to something that makes you feel uncomfortable, over time, that will fade, and you will feel neutral about it. Maybe you'll find joy experiencing these alone! And that is one of the positives of break ups. You'll find new emotions to feel and explore within things you've "lost". It will be a long road ahead, but time will heal you. Keep busy, explore on your own! Sending good wishes to you.
December 22nd, 2015 8:37pm
Try new things you maybe didn't do with your ex, something only for yourself. Maybe you find good music you like, spend time with friends who will distract you too! It takes time to get over it, and it does hurt to get reminded of the person you lost. But it will all get better with time.
October 10th, 2016 10:49am
Focus on your studies or your work and enjoying the present with your family and friends. Do the things you love doing.
January 24th, 2017 9:28pm
Take this time to start focusing on yourself. What are some things you've wanted to do but put off while you were in a relationship? Take yourself to dinner, go to the movies with friends or family. Do what makes you happy and discover new hobbies or interests that you may have.