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What is the best way to break up with someone in a healthy way?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 11/19/2019 at 1:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
Wanda05
November 7th, 2014 1:07pm
We all know that breaking up is a very difficult thing to do. The best way to break up with someone in a healthy way is to pick up the right time and place, do it in person and talk in a calm way to bring closure to the relationship. Nobody wants to be dumped but it is still the best to try to be honest so as not to make things more complicated. And most of all, try to be civil when your partner turns out to be yelling or screaming. Understand that not all people can handle rejections well. Try to be more considerate and act accordingly.
smileforawhile
November 4th, 2014 8:46pm
Be direct and honest with them. Be kind, polite, and respectful of the other person and their feelings. Gently explain your reasoning as to why you want to break up and why you feel that way. In my opinion, I think it's important to allow the other person to speak about how they feel about what's going on too.
Lifenote
April 24th, 2015 3:50pm
First you must face up to the truth. Problems are plenty and many, and unhealthy relationships are caused by the fact those in them know it should be ended but drag it out causing alot of mental stress and in most causes a minor depression, since there are alot more worse cases of depression. I find that women tend to already get mentally broken up a month before the actual breakup, but a more healthy way would be to face the problem direct, express your breaking up, opinions won't matter at this point because they only cause circles, its best to say it simple and leave. focusing on your own state of mind is more important than trying to figure out everyone else's feelings on the subject, you need to start afresh start afresh, you can recover from anything.
Asparagus515
November 5th, 2014 2:17am
Sit down and talk to your significant other in person. It might be terrifying but the best thing you can do is be honest and remain calm. They may be upset which is okay but remain firm yet kind. Set your boundaries. Do you still want to be friends? Are you going to block each other on social media?
Schneeglocke
November 5th, 2014 4:48pm
Tell them that somehow you can't love them unconditionally and that they deserve someone who truly loves them.
Uniqueg
October 30th, 2014 9:30pm
There's no way that I know because no matter what feelings are going to be hurt, the best you can do is be compassionate and explain why politely. Think of how you would want to be treated in that situation.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2014 5:39pm
Just tell that person what you really feel...Be nice and talk things out.. Respect each other's feelings.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2014 4:16pm
Tell them carefully, be warm, be kind, say that you are sorry for your mistakes, explain them why you want to break up, tell them that you will always remember them and tell them that you will miss them
StrawberryFieldsForeverE
May 24th, 2015 6:49pm
First of all, make sure that you go to a comfortable place and meet up face to face. Explain to the person how meaningful the relationship has been to you up to this point and all the things that you like about them. Then start a conversation on all the things that you are unhappy with in the relationship. It's really important that you keep these reasons pertaining to you. Don't blame the other person or accuse them of not being a proper partner. Just express your own values, boundaries and limits and how this relationship is no longer in line with them. Ex. I am no longer happy with the distance I have to travel to see you. It has been really difficult for me to do this regularly and I have decided I can no longer handle it. Make sure that you are adamant about this being the end. Don't give them hope that maybe one day you will get back together or offer friendship. It is far healthier to cut contact and keep to yourselves than to leave the relationship on confusing ground.
zealousSun36
August 8th, 2016 2:46pm
Elaborate to them that why you are doing so communicate whatever it is their so that you and the other person doesn't keep strucked in the same place and that person keep thinking that wether it was their fault
eleanor0610
November 9th, 2015 7:15pm
Honestly, it completely depends on your situation and your dynamic as a couple. However, generally speaking, a face to face, honest conversation tends to work well for both people. It'll give you a chance to say everything you want to and listen to what your partner has to say to you. It WILL be difficult, but you'll be okay. Good luck x
rainyFreedom64
November 10th, 2015 9:19am
According to me,the best way to break up with someone in a healthy way is to describe your situation to your partner clearly. Sit with him/her, explain to him/her that why this relationship is not working. If your partner understands you truely,respects you and your decisions then, I'm sure he/she will understand the problems and take it sportingly. So, don't hesitate, just speak the words of your heart. ALL THE BEST... :) :D
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 11:59pm
Confront them personally. Tell them everything you have to say. But of course be sure you arent mad or anything. Make sure youre fair and open minded. Resolve any conflicts.
KorhanLOral
November 23rd, 2015 11:00pm
Whatever you do, do not hold a grudge during or after a break up. That will turn a civil, healthy breakup, into a chaotic and toxic breakup. It is best suited that you and your loved one try to preserve a sense of respect and friendship. Make the breakup as painless as possible. Try accepting the fact loves come and loves go but one day you'll find the perfect person. Try not to obsess over this one person, it will take a toll on your everyday life. You will become depressed, be swarmed with anxiety, and in general just be sad. Trust me I should know.
Anonymous
December 1st, 2015 6:23am
Talk and express your view on where the relationship is going.Give space and time and be in contact
Greatlistener87
March 21st, 2016 3:40am
Best way is to be honest to them. Sit them down and tell them that you want to break up and explain to them on why you want to do so and where you are coming from. Also take the time to listen to your partner and make your partner understand that you know what they are going through but you are doing this for a good reason.
kindSoul92
May 23rd, 2016 11:46am
The best way to break up your relationship with some is to first ask them to meet you in person .tell him or her very clearly that why you are breaking up .if your girlfriend or boyfriend ask questions then do answer .be open and discuss all aspects .you don't have to be rough.this situation is also difficult for them .always watch your words .rather then blaming your boyfriend or girlfriend you should tell them the circumstances,situations or conditions because of which this relationship is not working.before breaking up please drop the blame game factor . Never ever brokup on phone or on text .if you clear out all the reasons nd questions put up by your girlfriend or boyfriend then it will not only become easier for you to move on but the other person will also find it easy and justified .
ChainsGoneSetFree
June 13th, 2016 3:23pm
I'm glad to hear that you want to keep positive feelings towards this person. I'm not really here to tell you what to do, but to listen, and in the talking about it you will know better what course of action to take to keep it healthy.
allnaturalUnicorns70
July 26th, 2016 1:27pm
People breaking up often have lots of hard feelings. The person being broken up with does too. Being extra thoughtful, careful and sensitive to this person and considering a time, place and way which shows them care and respect will go far in helping them move on.
bubblingLove76
July 7th, 2015 4:00pm
The best way is to be respectfully honest. Do not say or do anything that demeans or demoralizes the other party or the relationship. Be sure to make your feelings known as soon as possible. In many cases, the other party is totally unaware of the impending dissolution. Being upfront may lead to a mutual decision.
ReggaanCoy
September 26th, 2016 12:44pm
We both have our similarities and differences, even if we like some of the same things we are completely different people who want to nothing more but to achieve in our own ways and so far we can't do this while in a relationship. I think it's best for us to separate and focus on our selves as individuals rather than a relationship at this moment
Revinjan
January 30th, 2017 1:14am
The best way to breakup with someone is to be honest with them . Do it in a private matter and do it personally. Most people are often too scared to confront their partner and it just causes more trouble. Its better to be honest from the moment when you feel that the person you are with isnt the person you want to be in a relationship anymore . You cant accept something you arent happy about because you are scared to confront people
Lorenzosama
June 25th, 2018 5:28pm
Agree the both of you have flaws or ways that you're both frustratingly intolerable(at times) and you can't handle it anymore. It takes lots of introspection, reflection, self awareness and dedication to change those ways. Keep this in mind if they say that they'll change.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2018 1:08pm
The best way to break up with someone is probably to sit them down, and just genuinely tell them how you feel. dont do it over text message or a phone call. just when you next see them anyway, just discuss your feelings and say what you need to say. you never know they may be feeling the same way too. Although it may be awkward and uncomfortable to do it to their face, it will be in a respectful, healthy way. and if they get mad or upset just be sincere and calm. unfortunately break ups will never be easy but this is my advice for the most respectful, sincere and healthy way.
Sunset316
September 18th, 2018 12:10am
Breaking up as soon as possible is the healthiest thing you can do to cause as less pain as possible. Leading on your S.O. is only going to hurt him/her in the long run and eventually, you might be blamed for leading him/her on and that can really be a heavy burden to carry. The last thing we want to do is hurt that person. So, breaking up as soon as possible is the best thing you can do for that person. As hard as it might seem and as hurt as they might be, it is better solution when you look into the future.
Rotem
November 19th, 2019 1:43pm
I believe break ups will always be painful if it comes from one side. It really depends if it's a sudden urge to break up or you both have been feeling this way but no one had the guts to do it. Either way, it's important to comfort the person and let them know there's no need to compromise. Let them know that sometimes people change and want different things. Bring up all the good times you had, all the laughs you guys have shared and just let them know they are okay. And it just doesn't fits you anymore :)
Eluna
April 4th, 2015 12:13am
The best way to break up with someone is to just tell them in person, don't lead them on and be sure to tell them why you broke up with them. Don't be mean about it though.
ChaiChelsea
October 31st, 2014 7:47am
It is best to break up with someone in person if possible, even if breaking up over the phone, text, or e-mail is tempting. Talking about it in person shows maturity and can help to bring some closure. It is also best to choose a time that is relatively stress-free for the both of you. It is important to be clear and concise about it while also being as kind and gentle at the same time -- to find a balance between making it clear that you are breaking up with them while also not doing or saying anything hurtful or out of anger. If you feel comfortable, try practicing what you want to say to someone else you trust and see what their feedback is.
Anonymous
October 31st, 2014 5:05pm
Just sit, discuss why you want to break up. Be calm and patient with the other person as they are bound to feel upset and hurt, be prepared for it and dont expect things to go smooth. You being prepared will probably make it a little easier to deal with.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2014 7:49pm
Be honest, but not insensitive. Don't beat around the bush. Be clean, be understanding, do it in person.