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What is the best way to break up with someone in a healthy way?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 11/19/2019 at 1:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2014 10:17am
Confront them in the best way you can. Explain them the situation, have a long conversation, and make sure that you mutually agree on the topic. Otherwise it won't be a healthy one.
GoodGuyChad
November 5th, 2014 8:28pm
If you are determined to break up, you will inevitably have to have a difficult conversation. Realize that your partner may not react well and try your best to be mature and patient. Let the person deal with the difficult news and give him/her time to fully process it before you judge his/her reaction.
ContendingBand
November 13th, 2014 6:21pm
I believe that every situation is different, but I think the best way to end a relationship is to be honest with the person. Meet with them in person if you can and simply talk it out.
MarcusAM
November 18th, 2014 2:48am
I personally believe that you need to confront all of your problems head on. The only way through something is to face it. It is healthier in the long run to talk to the person face to face even if it is uncomfortable for you and them. This will make you a stronger more respectable person.
MichaAmy
April 1st, 2015 6:59pm
Sit down with them and calmly discuss why you believe it isn't working and how it is making you feel. This will help them to understand the break up and leave them without the pain of wondering why.
Anonymous
August 31st, 2015 7:40pm
Staying calm and honest is the best approach. You can explain to them why you think they are not working out, and explain why this is the best choice for you. Face to face is the best way, on neutral ground. If two people are dating each other, then they have to heave respect for each other. So, they have to respect your choice, just as you are giving them respect with honesty and compassion. If they react badly, then they are not the one you needed to be with anyway. Because if they cannot take you talking to them like a fellow human being, then they will not treat you well if anything else happened in the relationship that they did not like. Be true to yourself.
ghostPastry
April 10th, 2015 7:38am
Talk to them! Sit down with them, and tell them your true feelings. If your heart is set on breaking up, make sure to be very clear and firm about that. Don't try to spare their feelings, but also try to be as kind about it as you can. If you need space after the relationship, let them know that.
lucy1013
June 5th, 2015 7:21pm
A good break up is one that both parties kind of sense is on its way, so when you talk about its reality, it shouldn't come as a surprise. If you have a problem, breaking up is not the right way to solve it. Talk to your partner about your feelings and in all likelihood you will be able to sort it out. However, if there are certain things about your relationship that you will never be happy with, it is time to break up. Talk in person and try to be as calm as possible. When you are emotional, you start saying things you don't actually mean, so it wouldn't be a bad idea to write some points down. Make sure your partner understands why you think a break up is the only solution and make it a conversation so the other person can talk too. Although it will be difficult to know if you will remain friends after, it is important to end things amicably.
IAMDev
June 12th, 2015 3:17pm
The healthiest way is to tell the truth. You might hurt somebody's feelings but at least you're being honest.
rose106
August 10th, 2015 5:42am
Try to be as honest with them as possible without being mean. It often hurts more to find out someone you trusted wasn't completely honest than to hear the truth.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2015 11:09pm
meet face to face tell what you feel and what he feels from there and say you guys can't work out as if ..you know as you feel this from this relationship you feel you need to move on and thats it after all its your life..and you don't want to hurt the person but you can always feel what you feel, be honest thats it ..its healthy
Drimezan
August 17th, 2015 7:21pm
First and foremost, it is best to be sure of your intention. Nobody wants to be rejected but when it is already time to separate ways, be sure that it is what you really wanted to do and your reason is firm [meaning it is well thought off and not just because of external factors like emotions that can be on the spur of the moment]. Set the right time and place where both of you are calm and collected and explain calmly why you need to separate ways. When the other person reacts negatively, avoid reacting in the same manner as it would only increase the intensity of the reaction and the situation. Please do not do the following: - Breaking up through text. Breaking up is to be done face to face. - Breaking up with someone when they are going through a difficult problem or they are stressed out. The person would not be able to handle the sad news you'll bring to them so please be considerate. - Pinpoint all the wrong things the person has done that made you decide to breakup. Breaking up already hurts, how much more when you pinpoint all the wrong things that person has done? Remember that you were once happy together but if things did not work out no matter how much you wanted to make your relationship work, please choose your words carefully. There's nothing wrong telling them what made you decide to break up but words are so powerful that it can destroy someone leaving them broken inside and out.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2015 7:04pm
Straightforward approach works for me. A honest voice is louder than the crowds. Being honest and direct isn't always intense.