Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What to do if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you?

203 Answers
Last Updated: 01/24/2023 at 3:46am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Softwhispers
June 11th, 2016 1:34pm
I would tell his girlfriend that he cheated on her because it's just wrong I would let her hate me to avoid him hurting her more
windfox3
September 7th, 2017 12:30am
This is a very personal and complicated question. First, if you know that he's seeing someone else, you should wonder why he's so willing to betray someone he supposedly loves. That opens up a question, will he also so easily betray you? Does betrayal and infidelity bother you as an unhealthy aspect of any relationship? Also, if the guy is into you (for more than a one night stand), why is he unwilling to end his original relationship? What is his girlfriend giving to him that you cannot? Every situation is so very different. There's no right answer, there's no simple way to handle this situation. You have to ask yourself what you want, what you can absorb, forgive and accept per your own moral compass.
EricaAnne
May 4th, 2017 8:09am
Have some moral integrity and tell him not to do that. Do unto others what you want others to do to you. You don't want to be the relationship breaker. Karma stabs you in the back. Chances are that if he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he'll do the same to you sometime in the future. We must do all we can to end this appalling vicious cycle of cheating.
Anonymous
March 5th, 2018 4:44pm
if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you, you aren't really to blame... why? firstly their relationship could have been going bad before he met you and maybe she isn't doing the things she said she would do or did when they first started dating and to some men that's a turn off secondly maybe he wants to leave the relationship but doesn't know how to because they have been together for some time thirdly he could just simply like cheating but have no reason behind it. but in all of his cheating and doing his girlfriend wrong maybe there could be come good at the end of the day you will never know unless you are curious enough and willing to try and learn from your mistakes you might just change the guy for the better and he could be yours.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 11:03pm
If this situation happens, I think you should take some time out to think through what has happened. I then think you should come clean and tell the girlfriend in honesty what happened and how you also feel about the situation
Jeni47
June 17th, 2017 5:10pm
Talk about it. Every situation is unique and there are no hard and fast rules in life or love! Questions are magic - they let you understand where that guy is coming from. Of course, after this event, you have to decide: will I be able to trust him? If not, you need to move on and let go of him and the relationship. If you can forgive and try to rebuild trust and there are enough factors that make you want to, then maybe you choose that. I like to think of relationships like bank accounts: our daily choices and actions either create deposits or withdrawals into that account. They either honor and build up the positive feelings with my partner or they tear it down. An action like lying or cheating will often zero out the account or take it negative. For most people, that means finding the coping skills to move on. Sometimes it's not the right choice for you, though, and that's ok. Be kind to yourself. Figure out what you need.
delicatePoetry
May 19th, 2017 6:27am
If you feel fine with being part of somethig like this you could keep on going. Though I think you are risking getting attached to him and losing him because he could decide to be faithful to his girlfriend again or you can become a part of situation where he decides to leave his girlfriend to be with you. In such case think about how you might feel, areyou willing to be in such situation ? Plus if he would leave her for you, I have heard that cheaters dont really change. So are you willing to be with a cheater?
Zebrasarcastic
June 10th, 2016 1:23pm
Honestly tell that girl that he did and you didn't know about it and you're sorry ..that guy doesn't deserve any of you
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2016 2:08pm
And my personal experience,if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you. Expect him to cheat on you with someone else.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 2:52pm
Move forward and get rid of him. Because hes a cheat, once a cheat always a cheat. You deserve more
Anonymous
August 6th, 2017 7:25pm
While the fun lasted, I would avoid him at all cost.. Even if you do love/care about him. If he cheated on his girlfriend with you, if you guys ever do become a thing then he's likely to do the same thing to you.
WanderingPoet
August 11th, 2016 2:27pm
If a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you, cut off all communication with the guy and contact his girlfriend and let her know sincerely what happened. Odds are she'll be upset with you, but its better than her living a lie. Do not pursue a relationship with the guy.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2016 4:18am
Leave that guy, that should be a huge red flag already. No matter what his excuses are, he should break it off with his girlfriend first because if he can do that to his girlfriend, there's no doubt he will do it to you
AutumnLeigh
June 30th, 2016 1:23am
Understand that it may have been a 'one-night stand' and if you were hoping for a relationship, it may not happen. On the other hand, also understand that if he breaks up with her for you, you already know that future trust in your new relationship may always plague you with worry that if he cheated for you, he may cheat ON you. Either way, what is past can't be changed, but in the future, I would hope you've learned that it is not a good choice for you to date someone who has a steady girl already.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 2:55am
Leave him. And tell the girl. You would want someone to tell you, no? Also, if you knew he had a girlfriend, take responsibility for your part. But overall realize that he is wanting you to play second fiddle and the way you get him is the way you'll lose him.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 11:49pm
I would not get I to a relationship with any guy that has a girlfriend, to me that's just asking for conflict. However if I was the one being cheated on, I would def be upset.
BassistBriar
June 15th, 2016 12:18pm
If you are the middle of the triangle, you need to cut it off quick with the guy, and for trust purposes, talk to his girlfriend. :)
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 3:41am
You should probably not contact the guy anymore. Clearly he is not a good person because cheating shouldn't even be a thing... and if he did it to his girlfriend why wouldn't he do it to you as well.
strongforce
February 25th, 2017 5:42pm
If you've found that out, try to tell him you're not comfortable with the relationship and you want to stop. He has no right to do anything you're not comfortable with.
Anonymous
March 5th, 2017 4:48pm
With any cheating scenarios, it's never easy for any people involved, especially towards the person that's being cheated on. With that said, If your single then you don't need to worry about who your hooking up with. You control what you do not others, if a person cheats then that's on them. It's probably better to try and avoid relationship people then do so, but if you do then I don't think you have much to worry about and feel guilt over
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 9:02am
Then he is just playing, if he was not sincere to his gf.. how you can think that he would be sincere with you? he doesn't deserve your time..you'd find far better than him. just be strong for yourself.. because girls are not things so anyone could use them.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 1:36pm
do what you feeling should be done. every situation is different. you dont have to leave someone because they cheated but if you wanted to thats totally fine
DreamsandHope
July 1st, 2018 12:18pm
I will try to understand the situation. Sometimes situation might not as simple as it appears before you!!
enlightenedSoul79
December 4th, 2017 8:35pm
It depends on how you feel about it. If it bothers you, have a conversation with him about how you feel about it and see if he wants to leave his girlfriend for you. If he doesn't and the idea of him cheating makes you uncomfortable, the best thing would be to end the relationship.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2017 5:33am
it is a difficult situation, and there can be two things that change the way to handle the situation, 1) did you know he had a girlfriend? if yes then maybe you need to also ask yourself what caused you to have the desire to cheat with him? and maybe think if you might need to focus on personal growth and maybe speak with someone about anything that comes up emotionally for you. 2) if you did not know then try to put yourself in the girlfriends shoes and think what you might like to happen if you were her? and also know if you did not know then you are not to blame and you also might feel betrayed or hurt and upset.
confidentbruce17
October 29th, 2016 9:46am
Tell him you are not willing to continue the relationship and tell him it is bad to cheat on someone that really loves you and cares for you and does everything for you
Richv
September 27th, 2017 9:07pm
Leave him and tell his girlfriend, if he betrayed her he will probably betray you too, never trust someone who betrays, even if they betray your enemies to you, you never know when they will turn round and betray you. If you saw them stab their friend in the back would you ever trust having them behind you with a knife in their hand?
Valueyouheart13
October 28th, 2016 10:02am
Own up, no one is bad and no one deserves to feel second best. If you feel he can do that to her, what will he do to you? Don't get me wrong, some guys can be good and make mistakes but would it not make you wonder?
Anonymous
October 20th, 2016 4:02am
If you are allowing the cheating to take place, it's likely that there will be some drama and you will be involved. Hearts will be broken. To prevent this from happening, it may be best for the guy to express his feelings to his original girlfriend. This is only a suggestion. It may not be a great option for your situation, whatever that may be. I wish the best for all three of you! ♥
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 9:38pm
I would immediately broke things off, and tell the girlfriend what happened and how I didn't know he was involved with another person.