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What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

209 Answers
Last Updated: 03/31/2021 at 6:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
September 25th, 2016 6:56pm
Question why you feel that way. Is it because someone is making you feel that way? Is it because you're feeling low in confidence? Talk to that person about it, sometimes that might help clarify some issues.
September 25th, 2016 7:52pm
If you feel the pressure to be good for someone and to 'be as good as they're it's probably not meant to be.
November 2nd, 2016 3:06pm
I know that it may be tough when you feel like you are not good enough, but you have to remember that there is no such thing as not being good enough for someone. If someone isn't happy with what you give them or who you are, then they are the ones who are in need of help. They are seeking something that you just can't give them. The right people will always see you as more than enough.
July 15th, 2016 2:19am
I had the same kind of feeling before with my SO. I was depressed that it even caused too much damaged with my relationship. Thinking that I just can't mope around the corner, I started to do some things I haven't done before. I tried to look at the things I can do better and challenged myself about things I find difficult. I looked for a job I wanted the most, I gained confidence through that. I think confidence is what we lack why we are feeling that we. Try to list thing you can do and you can do better
July 27th, 2016 1:10am
Remember that improvement is always great - but your comparison comes from a strong bias. You can always compare yourself to those who will make you seem less great, and those who make you feel awesome and lucky.
July 1st, 2017 9:23pm
Remember that you are a person with just as much worth as any other person on this earth. Nobody is better than you, even if you have made mistakes. You deserve to be happy.
July 28th, 2016 10:34pm
By moving on and accepting there can't be anything anymore and at the end of the day just make the right choice you think is best for you
August 6th, 2016 6:42am
Identify the faulty thought that causes you to feel so and eradicate it.. Repeat the positive feelings for yourself and try to believe then :)
August 7th, 2016 6:04am
I think at some point we all feel this way. I know I do a lot. I have found it best to be open with this person and let them know how you are feeling. You both can work it out together!
August 7th, 2016 9:07pm
When I feel that I am not good enough for someone, I ask myself what about that person it is that I am attracted to, and write down all the things that are good about me.
August 17th, 2016 10:44pm
Think of why you feel that way, for every reason think of a reason you are good enough for them
August 20th, 2016 2:31pm
Try to talk to someone who has always been there for you no matter what came in your way...and surely you will realise that you are important for someone and it is not necessary that everyone whom we value will reciprocate the same thing.
September 3rd, 2016 8:17pm
I live for myself, I'm just me. If I don't please to someone it's not important. There are people will love me for what I am.
September 4th, 2016 12:36am
Try to talk with that someone and settle things down, you know, build up personalities together and if that someone really cares about you, he/she will help you solve this matter!
September 10th, 2016 2:10pm
Sometimes we do burden ourselves with expectations.. and try to be perfect..but perfection is nothing but an illusion. In a relationship.. its not necessary to be perfect, but to be genuine. You're good enough for them.. just don't overthink about it.. rather try to put your thoughts in action. If you feel like you are not good, try to make yourself better.
September 17th, 2016 11:40pm
It's not important whether or not you're "good enough" for someone. What IS important, is that you are good enough for YOU! If anyone makes you feel like you're not good enough for them, then you have to remember that you need to put yourself first. There's no such thing as being good enough for someone. There is, however, such a thing as not being right for someone, and in that case, do your best to move on to something that you are right for.
February 17th, 2017 2:27pm
Every day is an opportunity to change in a better way, if there is something you want to improve in yourself, make little efforts day by day in that direction, but it's also important not to let this voice overpower your peace of mind, that says you are not good enough. Remind yourself of your positive acts, dont be so harsh to yourself, be kind to yourself my friend.
April 18th, 2017 2:27pm
I keep my distance from that person because I will be constantly comparing myself to them. Keeping my distance will help me focus on bettering myself and accepting myself as I am.
March 31st, 2018 6:20am
Think about your relationship and why you are feeling this way. Do not let anyone make you feel like you are not good enough
April 20th, 2018 9:22pm
"You are enough, a million times enough" you may not feel like a good enough sister or girlfriend or boyfriend or child or anything else but just waking up everyday shows that you were worth the death of a moon and rebirth of the sun. You are a good enough human being, everything you are was intricately put together to create a beautiful soul and anyone who doesn't make you feel that way should not be allowed to get to you. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for so for now I'd say just remember that and repeat it to yourself as much as possible.
May 3rd, 2018 11:56am
I think, you don't have to change to be good enough for that someone. Just be who you are. You are good enough for other people❤
June 1st, 2018 3:45pm
Remind yourself that you are enough for anyone and if someone cannot accept you and see your worth, then they are not needing to be apart of your life and in fact could hold you back from your true calling and purpose. Write yourself an affirmation each day to help you see your worth and just know that you don't have to ever feel not good enough for someone else as long as you feel good enough for yourself.
August 16th, 2018 7:57pm
The answer is difficult to accept but talk to them. From personal experience I did not feel better about myself in regards to my boyfriend until he and I talked it out. Chances are you are more than enough for the person you are referring to. No one is more worthy than anyone. Something to do about the feeling is look in the mirror and declare 3-5 reasons you are valuable, worthy, and necessary. Build up some self confidence and in the end you should feel as though they are just as lucky to have you as you are to have them. Keep your head up and believe in yourself.
October 10th, 2018 7:25am
When I feel that I’m not good enough for someone I look at myself in retrospective, and consider if there’s a genuine reason for me to not be good enough. More often than not it’s just nerves getting to me. If I establish there is something that I could work on in relation to this person or myself as a whole I usually try to include that person in my journey. Say for example I felt that I wasn’t informed enough on something this person was interested in or good at, I’d try to learn more about the subject and find a way to involve the person in myself doing so.
August 22nd, 2019 9:44pm
Everyone has a different definition of "good". So what really matters is whether or not you are good enough for yourself. Because YOU are what you need. People change, and they leave. You should be enough for yourself. To fight back. To rise after falling down hard. You don't need anyone's validation and you clearly don't need anyone's approval as to how amazing you are and what you're capable of! So ask yourself, is the other person "good" enough for you by your definition of what should be "good"? And you'll know when they will accept and appreciate you the way you are! Cheers! :)
February 23rd, 2021 9:24pm
Parents play a vital role in developing children & their thought process. Their presence is important in our lives since childhood because their teachings, values & principles that they instill in us help with choosing the right partner & building up our self-esteem. There are instances when people make us feel that we are not good enough for them either by appreciating random girls/guys more on social media or by comparing us with them which leads to damaged self-worth as a result we tend to think we are worthless. Such thinking patterns build as a result of low self-esteem. The good news is that we can break the chain of faulty thoughts in the best way with the help of 3 easy steps. The first step would be to identify all the negative thinking. Secondly, replacing them with positive ones such as from "I am worthless & not good enough for them" to "I am the best one can have, I am enough for myself & others". Lastly, by practicing positive affirmation frequently. According to researchers, Human beings including children have a tendency to focus more on negative aspects of life than the positive ones. Therefore, practicing positive thinking is a crucial part of therapy against the vicious cycle of faulty thinking patterns. Practicing self-love, spending quality time with family members is equally important. If our significant other is full of criticism, we must move ahead & find a better person who would accept us the way we are. I strongly believe that good time & good luck accompany those who know when to leave a relationship when nothing seems to work out. When we are with someone who constantly criticizes us, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk becomes our lifestyle which is the real reason behind further lowering our self-esteem. Our whole life can be changed if we are compassionate towards ourselves & decide to move away from toxic people. Everyone loves to be around an amazing person with self-confidence which comes naturally to those who are unapologetically, authentically themselves. Hence, we must be comfortable being ourselves instead of being someone else. In order to have a healthy relationship, we must be patient as they say great things take time. At the end of the day, One must not forget that the feeling of not being good enough comes from within so we alone can change it & nobody else can do that for us.
August 25th, 2016 6:34pm
if you think someone is better then you that's not right because, nobody is perfect . you just have to talk to that person.
September 1st, 2016 12:38pm
Everyone has their own expectations, you should be who you are and everyone looks for their own person!
September 8th, 2016 4:14pm
I check in with myself; remind myself that the truth about me is that I have people that love me and accept me. Then I can choose to give the person the benefit of the doubt- each person has his or her own reasons for acting a certain way, and I know not everything is meant to be taken personally. Only I can decide what I will carry with me and let define me.
September 9th, 2016 3:01am
There are more fish in the sea as they say. Move on there is someone that's will like you for who you are.