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What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

183 Answers
Last Updated: 07/31/2020 at 1:06am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 7:16pm
Incomplete, like there is something wrong with you; like you are not enough for that one person.....
SpiritualGuidance
October 10th, 2016 12:23pm
You must always love yourself, that way you will be aware of your self worth and always feel positive
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 4:57am
First of all you would need to start focusing on yourself more because would first need to examine your self and appreciate all the things you have as an indivial then you and only then will you be able to believe that you are good enough
fruityForever60
October 14th, 2016 2:23am
When I feel that I am not good enough for someone I will just turn around asking myself whether I am good enough for me. I will let it go after mourning for few minutes. Finally I will join the path of happiness.
RheanaHazel
October 14th, 2016 11:34pm
You must discover what you love about yourself. What you have that others do not. You need to restore your self confidence.
cianbrennan
October 15th, 2016 11:18am
Look at yourself, if you feel like you're not good enough for someone it's down to your self esteem and nothing else. Try and find why you don't feel like you're not goo enough (has it to do with your appearance, your experience or your capabilities?) these will be good indications of how to approach improving your self esteem and happiness.
heartonfire1319
October 19th, 2016 5:07am
Remember that you are enough just the way you are. Dig deep and try to identify exactly what it is that makes you feel not good enough; whether it be a physical characteristic, or a personality attribute, or something else entirely, try to acknowledge it and fully accept it about yourself instead of trying to change or hide it. Maybe in time you'll even come to embrace it. Remember you are perfectly "enough" exactly as you are.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2016 6:42am
When I feel like I'm not good enough for someone I usually feel really anxious about letting someone down. Honestly, it's all in my head sometimes, because giving up is the only way I can let someone down. I tried to remind myself all the time that I am here for myself not to prove my worth for someone else.
SeaOfVoices
November 5th, 2016 9:23am
What I normally do is I try to realize people are smart and don't like to waste their time. My friends, S/O and family wouldn't be around me or request my company if they didn't enjoy my it for one reason or another.
mcla
November 9th, 2016 2:44pm
I remind myself of the things I'm good at and what people love about me, I try to think of the positives about me
Emperatriz65
November 27th, 2016 2:20am
Step back and take a look at why your feeling that way. Chances are it's just a little insecurity that everybody feels at one point or another. If somebody likes you then you ARE good enough. You should try to have a bit more self worth than you give yourself credit for.
Taurus26
December 10th, 2016 5:19pm
Ask yourself are you really not good enough? Think about the good things that you have done in life! You are not less than anyone You are loved and you can love never underestimate yourself
friendlylittlefox
December 22nd, 2016 11:45pm
Ask yourself why you feel this way. Do you feel that you are not good enough for this person because: a) You are not meeting your own standards and see them as better than yourself b) You are not meeting their standards and they see themselves as better than you c) You are not meeting the standards of another person who is influencing you to feel unworthy in general If the struggle is internal, determine what it is exactly that you feel inadequate for. Are you not reaching your goals? Have you recently lost a job or friend? Do you not feel equal to your partner financially, physically, or emotionally? The only way to battle this feeling is by creating positive change in your life to accommodate the needs of the person you hope to be. If the person is making you feel inadequate or unworthy of having them in your life, then this is a fault on them and not yourself. Try communicating with them and letting them know the actions or words that make you feel as if they are "superior", and how they can change their treatment of you so that you both feel appreciated and worthy. If this person is unable or unwilling to change, know that you do not need to stay in a toxic relationship. A good relationship makes you feel fulfilled and uplifted! Not down on yourself. If another person outside of the equation is making you feel small (say, a boss, co-worker, teacher, peer, family member, professional), follow the same strategy as above. If you can, distance yourself from this person, or report them to a higher power who may help you resolve what issues are between the both of you.
HeartofaPhoenix
December 23rd, 2016 4:59am
Whenever I feel like I'm not good enough for someone else, I take a step back to see if I am judging my worth on that person. If I am, I try to shift away from that viewpoint and realize that judging my worth based on someone else is unhealthy and unnecessary.
scotty4947
January 11th, 2017 9:54pm
It doesn't matter who that someone is. First, ask them if you are worth it to them because your feelings could be completely wrong. Second, in the case that you are not worth it to them, you shouldn't let it get to you. It would be time to realize that that person is not a positive/good energy in your life to have around. Third, try and find people that CAN be that positive influence in your life. Then it will only go up from there!
ingeniousPeace79
February 25th, 2017 6:33pm
It's time to decide then where is the line between love and slavery. It's one thing to serve someone (no need to be in love, can be any person). And another thing to slave for that someone, just because out of fear, abuse, or hope or whatever else. Ego, animal, male or female, these will never have any respect for a Person. Sadly, when a Person dives into her animal nature, she follows her animal interests and purposes. She will then abuse anyone around, family or no family, friend or foe. There's no limit for animal if you let it. Animal will abuse you until you drop dead. It's vital to decide where is the line for you. Because once you cross the line of abuse and slavery, pain grows exponentially and the experience is crushing. Be very careful, really.
Anonymous
February 26th, 2017 9:21am
You should never feel that way. If someone makes you feel like you are not good enough (or if something makes you feel that way) than remember that you are better than that. Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself is not better than you. You have to remember that you are just as good as them and let that feeling wash over you. Once you start believing yourself, no one can make you feel that way.
kindheartedGrace81
February 26th, 2017 12:18pm
Years ago I would have turned away or just put up a wall. I am now in a relationship where in the beginning I felt that way, but now we are talking more. I realized that talking with the person, and sharing your feelings with them really helps the relationship.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2017 11:36pm
talk to that person tell them how you feel. you never know till you talk to them. And never forget that if your not good enough for them they dont deserve you.
SammyD05
April 18th, 2017 2:27pm
I keep my distance from that person because I will be constantly comparing myself to them. Keeping my distance will help me focus on bettering myself and accepting myself as I am.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2017 3:51pm
Try to remember why they wanted you in the first place, rather than your feelings of inadequacy. However always be aware that every life form has their strengths and weaknesses, so instead of putting them on some kind of higher pedestal try bringing them back down your expectations to reality.
MeganL91
May 11th, 2017 10:35pm
Remind yourself you are lovable and valuable. Take some time out of the day to reflect on some positive attributes you have; things that you love about yourself. Remember that your self-worth comes from no one but you, and that no one can take self-love away!
BiBiLSSD
May 24th, 2017 10:40am
Talk to them about it. Remember that honesty is the stable foundation in a relationship! If you feel unhappy about something in particular then you must tell them why and what it is so it can be fixed as soon as possible.
FreshPeppermint
May 28th, 2017 4:15am
You should probably stop and question why you feel that way. What metric are you using to compare yourself to them? Could it be that there are other points of view that could shed a different light on the situation? But, perhaps most importantly, do they want you, knowing full well that you are a human being and thus have your own unique mix of qualities and flaws? Because in the end that's all that matters.
ConfidentLiar
June 7th, 2017 6:07pm
You are always good enough. Even if you don't feel you are, you just keep their feelings in mind. If they thought you weren't the one for them, they'd leave. But they haven't. They're staying here, with you. Not being good enough isn't really a thing. You may not be their type, but you are ALWAYS good enough.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2017 10:24am
every human being is unique and no one is better than any other. However we can think sometimes we are not good enough. Everybody makes mistakes, even though we made mistakes, we should focus on learning from the past experience and making our good sides even better.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2017 7:50am
i try to be better and in that process and not loosing the fact that i have to be myself even in that process
maddiedobro23
June 28th, 2017 4:58am
Think about all the reasons that they love you, like how they feel about you and why they care about you.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2017 1:53pm
In my opinion, you talk about your insecurities with that person. Let that person assure you that you are wrong, and little by little, tell yourself everyday that you are worth it. Gradually, your insecurities will fade away once you believe in that. Also, if the person makes you think that you are not worth them even after confrontation, then, leave that person. Because, that would mean that they do not truly appreciate you.
Naabell17
November 9th, 2017 7:14am
I will first loose contact with who ever makes me feel like that and later get in touch with a therapist to help me build my self confidence again