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What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

183 Answers
Last Updated: 07/31/2020 at 1:06am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Challenger
November 13th, 2017 7:38am
It simply means that you are not aware of your own strengths. Start counting them down you will realize you are as good as any one else. Furthermore remember that may be one of your strength is extremely valuable. Like honestly is a very expensive gift don't expect from cheap people.
StarrySky18
November 19th, 2017 3:51am
Think about why you believe this. Is the person worth you worrying about this? Is the thing you think they want you to change something you, personally, want to change? How important is your relationship with them? Are you happy with how good you are youself?
Jomojop
November 22nd, 2017 2:55am
What is it that makes you feel you are not good enough for them? Sit and write some positive qualities of yourself that you see in yourself and that you think other people might also see. This might help when you’re feeling that you’re not good enough for someone
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 11:48am
I make myself realize that someone better is waiting for me and I'm only good enough for him but also we're perfect for each other.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2017 1:28am
Know that no one is perfect or good enough, we all have our own flaws, we also have our own good points. You just need to be true and express your thoughts to him/her to remove that anxiety. Because for me, if that someone truly loves you, you won't have to compete, they will love every part of you, good and bad.
Mortemus
January 10th, 2018 11:13am
I look to myself and improve what I wish to improve for my own reasons and raise myself to my desired pedestal. As long as I feel fine or even better in my own skin, then I'll always be good enough for who's right for me.
Rolad
January 19th, 2018 1:08am
Learn to find yourself and love yourself before even thinking you aren't good enough for someone, everyone is good enough for someone. Don't let that define who you are let YOU define who you are as a whole.
SensitiveKitten924
February 1st, 2018 5:06pm
Tell that someone how you feel. They will tell you and help you understand that you are a great person!
romanticthi3f
February 2nd, 2018 10:55pm
See if you can have a think about why you're not 'good enough'. What is it that 'good enough' means anyway? Often all of us are familiar with the term, but we don't really know what it means to us - get specific. See if you can write down all the things that make a person 'good enough'. I'm sure that once you start to look at that you'll realise that you are :)
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:26pm
you look in the mirror and see what a beautiful person you are. you point out all your good qualities and write them down as a reminder of when you feel weak and cannot see how special of a person you are. if you don't feel good enough for someone, then you aren't with the right person.
confidentKoala73
February 8th, 2018 1:02am
Figure out why you feel that way. Is it something they did? Do you just feel that way for no reason? Try to figure it out.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:29am
Try and figure out where those inadequacies may lie, and do your best to change them :) Rather than wallow in possibly not being good enough, it's best to strive for excellence.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:02pm
Write a list of all of your positive qualities. Remember that you're worthy of being more than enough for someone. Also get them to write a list of what they like about you.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 4:12pm
If you ever feel your not good enough for someone try to remember your just as special and important as everyone else in the world
djdansmith
March 21st, 2018 6:28pm
Look at all the things you do that make them smile and remember every smile is something positive to them.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2018 12:18pm
When you see that you are starting to have a cold conversation or relation with someone, try to make the first step asking politely what is going on, the situation, why and what comes after that. Communication is the best thing in such cases.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2018 8:35pm
Take a deep breath. You need to realize that sometimes those people are not meant to be in your life. Find people who are worth your time.
soothingZebra30
April 5th, 2018 9:45am
You don’t have to be good for anyone as long as you feel good about yourself that’s all you need so don’t give up hope .
Peaceontoyou
April 6th, 2018 1:54am
Is to be true to yourself and acknowledge that it is time to completely remove yourself from that relationship
Anonymous
April 18th, 2018 6:01am
Think about it: they are not good enough for you! You deserve the best and if they don't recognize it, find someone who does. They are out there.
insightfulSpace66
April 25th, 2018 8:31am
If I ever feel like i’m not good enough for someone, I directly talk to them. I tell them I don’t think i’m a good enough friend, good enough boyfriend/girlfriend. Usually, people will rebuttal that by saying you are good enough. They’ll tell you how thankful they are for you because they know you are good enough. They’d tell you to stop doubting yourself.
LockeLamoraUK
May 2nd, 2018 8:33am
Look inside - why are you feeling that? Are you a bad person? We all have different timetables for success. All that matters is your intentions.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2018 2:17pm
I usually talk to the person about or try to rid of that negative thought somehow. Maybe make a list or think if some reasons why I am good enough.
CharlieSharkie
May 12th, 2018 4:46pm
You tell yourself that you are because, well: You are! Regardless of who you are or what you've done, you're an incredible individual, and you have every right to believe that.
Labyrinthx
May 16th, 2018 4:53pm
You feel that you are not good enough for someone because your judgement about your own worth is low. You are unique, special and amazing just the way you are. It's important to love yourself before you love someone else. I'm sure you would like to think about your compatibility with the person but you are good enough for the universe and never think low of it.
DrBurrito
May 18th, 2018 8:46am
Remember they are just human also.
MintedTea
May 18th, 2018 2:26pm
When I feel like I'm not good enough for someone, I try to be the best I can and hope that it's enough.
thethingwithfeathers98
May 26th, 2018 9:27am
Reflect on why you feel this way - is this because you have self-esteem issues, or because your partner is making you feel like you are beneath them? If it is the former, you must think about how much this is affecting your partner and the relationship, and sometimes it is healthier to take a break to work on yourself, rather than seeking validation and assurance from your partner. If it is the latter case, that is an abusive relationship and you should leave.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 10:00am
you trying talking to them and or try to be good enough but really there is no reason why you should think this
Rioz
June 13th, 2018 8:13am
feeling like that is very common especially if you struggle with anxiety.if you feel like that and the "someone" is a person you are comfortable with. you can tell them about how you feel and mostlikely they will give you reassurement.. if you feel you havent do enough for them . you can ask them what they would've like you to do more.. or is there anything about you that makes them uncomfortable :D usually if the person is someone you are close and comfortable with.. they would give you as much as reassurement and effort as how you are willing to gie them :D