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What's the best way to get over someone who cheated on you?

30 Answers
Last Updated: 11/16/2020 at 10:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Cynthia Stocker, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My approach is direct, kind, honest & collaborative. My clients appreciate that I help them in a way that cuts through the jargon and gives clear explanations.

Top Rated Answers
October 3rd, 2015 2:18pm
First of all, keep in mind that your partner's cheating had nothing to do with you. Don't look for any faults in yourself to justify the cheating. Your partner made a commitment to you and they didn't follow through with it. The only fault there is, is in their character. That being said, your self esteem will still take some damage, no matter how aware you are that it's not your fault. I suggest taking the time to focus on your qualities, to do nice things for yourself, even spoil yourself a little. This person did not deserve you, you didn't deserve having your trust cheated, you are better off without them even if it hurts right now, the pain will pass, it's temporary and you will have a free spot for someone that deserves it when the time is right. :) Stay strong!
April 21st, 2015 8:56am
For me, the best way to get over someone that has cheated on you is to forget them completely should you choose to break up with that person. Cheating is breaking the sacred bond of the relationship and is in my opinion unacceptable although some may choose to reconcile with their partner. BUT ways to get over them are to erase or eliminate any memories or items or anything that has to do with that partner. Get rid of mementos, photos, anything that reminds you of it. This should help ease the process and keep you from being reminded of the person and thus the pain they eventually caused. Another way I found that helped was releasing emotions. this can be done multiple ways such as crying, expressing yourself through writing or a notepad app on your smart device or of course the classic, expressing feelings to a confidant in your life such as a really good and supportive friend or even on here, 7 Cups of Tea. The final way to get over someone is simple. Be positive. Having a good outlook on the situation can really help. Find other things that make you happy to take your mind off of the recent loss and think about what good came out of the situation. If a partner cheated on you, that commitment is broken and thus wouldn't you be better without that kind of person? It's better to have someone who will always be faithful rather than give up their heart for a moment of selfish pleasure. In any case, keep your head up and you always have friends or supporters who can help, especially on this website here.
September 7th, 2015 7:51pm
Keep your mind busy in things you love doing(hobbies) and start loving yourself and people who are already there for you(family and friends). Going after you passion and hobbies is important as in the process you get to know yourself and start accepting yourself, it also creates a distraction/diversion from thinking about your partner and feeling miserable.
May 20th, 2015 7:41pm
Being cheated on is always a difficult issue to deal with. The best way to get over someone who cheated on you is keeping in mind that they didn't respect you enough to remain faithful to you. If the relationship is over, it's your turn to find someone who will care about you and respect you.
March 5th, 2018 12:09am
Take care of yourself and don't ever think you're not good enough or that there were something you could have done to prevent it. It was their decision, and a person who cheats has it in their persona to do so, and that immediately makes them someone not deserving of you.
December 7th, 2015 9:45pm
if they can cheat on you then they have no real feelings, you shouldn't give them a second chance either, I get that we all make mistakes but the trust you once had for this person is never going to be what it once was. It's not worth it and I understand from experience that we feel like we are in love with this person and letting them go and not giving them a second chance is basically not an option for us but in the long run it is what is best.
July 25th, 2016 10:42am
First, set limit days of mourning, second, free your mind and soul by letting go, third, filled your life with more energetic, positive and more healthier you, and fourth enjoy the new you!
April 13th, 2015 10:29am
There is no one best way. It will depend on the situation. It might have been a cry for more attention or something more fundamental. You can forgive them & try and move on from that by resolving the reasons behind the cheating, or you can move from the relationship. If you want to continue you need to decide will the cheating continue or stop and what you would like it to do. However as this is the break up section I'm going to assume you have walked away. So you need to fill your life with things where you are valued, this is a blow to how you value yourself. But each of us is more than just a partner. Look to social networks, hobbies, friends and family. Create new habits that do not remind you of him/her, where you will increase your value via your own life choices. Be aware that you will be wary of new relationship, and that is OK, but don't judge the present just by the past, but do learn from it. It is a fine balance, but what will help most is recognising where the feelings come from. The NOW situation or the THEN situation. Be kind to yourself, there may be reasons he/she cheated but they chose that path rather than addressing the reasons. Own any faults that were yours but don't accept those that were not yours. Learn to love yourself and the amazingness of you.
December 21st, 2015 4:17pm
avoid the person that cheated on you, don't look back at what you had with them & never talk to them ever again best way to get over them. try moving on & forget them they not worth it .
May 22nd, 2018 2:09pm
Work on yourself, block them from all forms of social media, delete their pictures and messages. When you’re 100% happy with who you are, and you’ve healed and moved on, unblock them and make a comeback and show them your worth and how much better you are. Do it for yourself, take care of yourself, cause no one else will!
June 6th, 2015 5:44pm
Remind yourself of your worth, and that life has it's up and downs and that hopefully one day someone is going to make it up to you
September 28th, 2015 8:57pm
The best way is to remind yourself that he did that because he is a cheater not because of anything wrong inyou .. Remember that you are a good person find the best in you and try to be active and don't stop living for that .
May 28th, 2015 2:18am
Realize that you are better off without them. If someone was stupid enough to cheat on you, you should be smart enough to find someone who won't do it to you :)
June 23rd, 2015 3:59am
The best way to get over someone who cheated on you is to constantly keep yourself busy but make sure you express how you feel and allow yourself to cry because it's not healthy to completely ignore the fact that you're hurt.
August 31st, 2015 12:15pm
Know that,the person that cheated on you did not deserve you. If they were unhappy with you they didn't have to cheat and that you deserve so much better. Pre-occupy yourself with some other activities to keep your mind off. Don't fall into despair, after a while try dating again...maybe you'll find someone that makes you really happy and stays with you :) (sorry if this was inadequate)
February 14th, 2015 11:18pm
Read books, watch movies, talk to friends and family. Do anything to stop you thinking about the problem.
March 15th, 2015 7:23pm
Forgive that person and understand that although it did happen to you, it didn't happen because of you.
February 16th, 2016 8:39am
I believe it's a very hard task. And you really have to want to do it, and do it. The first step to get over it is to realize your better than what they perceive you. Surround yourself around with caring people, family and friends, ones that you know won't judge you. Keep yourself busy, going to the gym is one of the places to keep yourself busy. Your not only relieving stress. Your also beginning a new healthy lifestyle. Delete them from your phone, all pictures and any thing that reminds you of them, something that may trigger emotions. Stay away from places yall shared together. And most important...... Mourn, give yourself time to heal, cry, scream if you have too. But don't hold it in and don't dwell. Give yourself as much time as possible to heal, but don't get stuck.
July 5th, 2016 7:37am
There really is no best way to get over someone who cheated on you. There's different things you can try but how they work depends on you. You can see a lot of good ways to try to get over someone by going to the self-help guides which you can find under Path. There's one on breakups. Read it. It can help.
August 7th, 2017 2:21am
Just know that it was not your fault and the person who cheated on you made the choice all on their own. Don't blame yourself and know that you gave your 110%.
April 15th, 2015 12:07pm
To me, the best revenge is by staying happy like nothing has happened and sometimes helping the person you cheated you can set him on fire. That's the revenge one should prefer, it spreads positivity.
April 16th, 2015 10:17pm
April 26th, 2015 7:49am
Spend some time with friends, or spend time doing things you enjoy to take your mind off of the cheater. That helped me, maybe cry if you need to as well because that helps too!
May 6th, 2015 3:00am
To understand that them cheating is on them, and not you. It has nothing to do with you, and everything about their character as a person.
October 1st, 2015 1:50am
Focus on yourself, do things that distract you and that you like. Only with time you will get over that someone. Just remember that you are unique and that you will someday find someone else. Live tomorrow.
June 22nd, 2020 11:35am
Remember that this has nothing to do with you. There is no excuse for cheating, no matter what problems there may have been in your relationship. I would start by focusing on yourself! Do some online shopping, take walks and listen to music an hour a day, try out that recipe you've been curious about. Don't even think about this person, do everything in your power to make yourself feel like a king or queen. If you really just feel like doing nothing, set up a Zoom meeting with your friends or family? Talking and/or crying over what happened can be a way to free your emotions.
April 9th, 2015 5:02pm
Talk to friends or someone that is always there for you. Try talking to someone new a guy/girl which one you ever prefer. Get to know them because there are many people who are single and needs someone to talk too
May 22nd, 2015 5:42pm
The best way to get over it, is eat ice cream but dont over eat, you can also avoid them, or if anybody brings up their name, walk away and go cry it out, try your best to stay away from them.
November 2nd, 2020 5:36pm
This answer is different for everyone. It all depends on you and your personality. You can talk to loved ones about it, or keep it private. What I like to do is to write down my feelings on a piece of paper, as if I were talking to the person who cheated on me, or I broke up with. Wether my feelings are anger, sadness, stress, depression, or even happiness I always feel better by the end. This may not work on you though. Try activities that calm you or you enjoy. Some people like focusing on different things and keeping busy, until they've moved on. But it always depends on the person. Who are you? Ask yourself this. Try to understand your feelings, and why there are what they are. It'll be ok. You'll get through this. Understanding your feelings gets you one step closer to being happy with your life, and being at peace with yourself.
November 16th, 2020 10:55am
It definitely depends on the situation but the best way is to try to talk to someone who will help you understand your feelings to be able to process them in a healthy way. Often times when we feel betrayed and angry we overlook or deny to ourselves that we are still in love with the person and miss them badly. So this sadness and loss need to be acknowledged. It's a huge loss if you break up, especially after a long term relationship, not only it's a loss of the person you admired, it's a loss of trust, a loss of affection, loss of a dream, security it can trigger unprocessed feelings from the past in some cases thus can feel 10 times worse than expected. Finding the right help can be a good way forward if you feel the issue is still affecting you years later. Often it's our beliefs about ourselves that get activated (i.e. I'm not worthy of love, not good enough, etc.), which can be tricky to identify.