Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Whats the best way to get over your ex moving on before you do?

189 Answers
Last Updated: 03/04/2022 at 7:26pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
helpfulBlossom8619
May 9th, 2020 4:25pm
Talk to you friends, go out with them and enjoy yourself. don't worry about your ex, it isn't about him anymore its about you. Live your life to the fullest and forget about him! Enjoy yourself! and remember that it is not about him, once you've broken up with him you need to forget about him, try and do it as best you can, enjoy yourself. Maybe find anew hobby, a sport could help you with any emotions your feeling. reading may also help, or something more calming like knitting or crochet. Overall I don't think its the most important thing to try to move on first. Just focus on yourself and it will all come naturally!
Anonymous
June 4th, 2020 3:46am
One way is to think about how much you had invested into the relationship. If they didn’t give as much as you did, they will not be as upset. Also everyone processes events and stressors differently. They may have moved on differently and faster than me but that’s okay. I may just take more time to think and feel confident and happy with myself, before I can get over the person who brought me comfort. The other person, may have just not needed to think it over, or may have been more confident in themselves than I was. Therefore neither of us was in the wrong, but just process things differently.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2020 2:45pm
Trying to cut off all ways of you being reminded of her - i.e. old pictures etc. Then, though it's hard, try to go about your daily life without reminding yourself of your ex. Slowly you will start to feel like you're moving on and your ex moving on won't bother you. Furthermore, being cooped up at home is one of the worse things you can do - so hanging out with your friends and trying to shut out venues to be reminded of your ex in the immediate future is the best. After you feel you are comfortable reflecting back on your relationship, you can try to find what went wrong and personally grow via improving on this.
amiablePond7294
July 2nd, 2020 1:30am
I don't think moving on should be necessarily viewed as a race. Everyone heals differently. For some, it can be quickly and swift. For others, it may take time to fully understand and begin the healing process. I would not say to focus on getting over your ex before they get over you. Instead, try to heal from the breakup first. You may find that helps much more than trying to move on quicker. The quicker you move on, the more unresolved emotions linger with you. I wish you the absolute best of luck emotionally healing from your breakup!
JonRamon
July 19th, 2020 7:23pm
The best way to get over your ex moving on is to find things you like doing and using your support system which could include your family and friends. Things happen for a reason and thinking positively can help ease the negative thoughts and enable you to think more clearly and not worry as much. Keep in mind that things will get better with time and that you will be available for the person who is really meant to be in your life. This is also a time to work on yourself and focus on the important things you think will make you a happy.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2020 10:44am
prepare yourself to accept it, dont hold grudge, respect others desires, keep things organized, dont search for who was wrong , feel the peace and beauty of life always, know that people are not a property, the right one will stay.prepare yourself to accept it, dont hold grudge, respect others desires, keep things organized, dont search for who was wrong , feel the peace and beauty of life always, know that people are not a property, the right one will stay.prepare yourself to accept it, dont hold grudge, respect others desires, keep things organized, dont search for who was wrong , feel the peace and beauty of life always, know that people are not a property, the right one will stay
doubtfi
August 20th, 2020 4:37am
Block them out of your life, if possible. Delete their number, block their social media, try to further yourself from them as much as you can. This way, you won't have to worry about their new relationships and can focus on healing and finding yourself a new relationship! If you have access to all their social media, you'll feel inclined to check up on them, and this can be greatly detrimental to your own health and progress. By completely evading the traces of their relationship, block them and forget about that information as you focus on yourself! Good luck!
charmingdeer909
August 22nd, 2020 7:44pm
Realize that we are all différente and unique people who move at different paces. Honestly, the best way to get over your ex in general is to distance yourself from them so that you don’t have to “pour salt on a fresh wound”. When you start focusing on self-care and improving yourself as a person, you lose track of comparisons and it doesn’t matter that your ex “moved on quicker”. When you allow yourself that time to heal, you are able to think clearly from an outside perspective on your own situation, learning how to move on naturally. This is such an overused cliqué, but one day you’ll look back and laugh. Time truly does heal all wounds.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2020 6:09pm
The best way to get over someone is to turn the focus inward. Focus on yourself, on growing personally. Do not compare your progress with your ex's. You are unique and it is not a competition. Your path and your life mission are different than anyone else. A great way to get over someone is finding out what interests you, hobbies you'd like to develop, spending time with friends and family. When you are paying attention to yourself, getting over someone gets easier. Also, do not put pressure on yourself, you are doing the best you can, and that it is more than enough. Take one step at the time.
Asher
September 9th, 2020 7:50pm
There is no easy way to get over a ex super quickly as it takes time to move on from someone so quickly. When I was broken up by my former partner I was so destroyed from it all and was unsure how to move from it as well. I just came to terms that it was going to take a lot of time to move on from it. The best tip that someone gave me was to focus on something you love. For example for me, I did more peer support stuff to grow as a person but also to move on as well.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2020 11:05pm
My ex got married(!) 3 months after we broke up, after he told me he's not at all interested in any new relationships. At that time I was still crying at least once a day, was very depressed and barley functioning. I wish I had an easy answer - I tried everything. I talked to friends, I burnt sage to clear energy, I did rituals, I received sessions, I tried drinking (not recommended) , I wrote letters that I burnt after, I journaled, I prayed, I did energy healing sessions, I just wanted to get over him. I tried dating - only to realize that I am so not ready. I had to learn how to love myself, first. I had to give myself time. I had to accept that it is what it is, that I loved him deeply and that he'll never be in my life. It's that acceptance, it's telling myself that it's ok and of course time - made a difference. I learned how to be happy, truly happy by myself. And when I was ready to date again, I knew I was ready - I met my husband. Hope it helps :)
Anonymous
October 1st, 2020 8:26pm
We don't always know what happens behind closed doors. Even if they may "appear" to have moved forward, we never know if they are truly have or not. Plus, we all heal in our own time fast or slow. Having a slower "heal" time isn't a bad thing, nor is having a faster heal time a good thing always. What works for you and is healthy works the best. As hard as it may be, place the focus back on you and your happiness. We often discredit our emotions and our needs when it comes to where we want to go or what we want and need within relationships or friendships. This a moment to do things that make you happy and fill up your soul or even try something new. In short, make your focus YOUR healing and journey in life instead of this ex.
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2020 1:44pm
In this situation, I would practice gratitude and reframing; your perfect someone is still on the way. It isn't a race to move on quicker than your ex, have the belief or faith that something good is coming your way! It can be hard because you just want to fast forward till that moment in life, but reframe and enjoy the little things in life! Spend time with friends, family and loved ones, find time to do things for you! I find it best to also keep it out of sight out of mind,try not to hyper focus that he or she or they moved on before you did.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2020 9:41pm
The best way to get over your ex moving on before you do is to always occupy yourself by doing things that you love. For example, painting, singing, reading or even taking a walk outside. Anything to keep your mind focused. You will see as days go by, it will become easier and sooner or later everything will be okay. It is completely normal to have more difficult days than others but time heals everything and next thing you know you will have focused on yourself and be happily moving on! Things will only get better from here. Stay strong!
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 6:14pm
It can be hard to know how to respond when a relationship ends and you feel your ex-partner is finding their way to move on before you do. Sometimes, the best, healthiest, and kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to allow them to undergo their process off our radar, in other words, to let them experience their process without comparing it to our process. Sure, we may have ups and downs. We may feel that we are not always adjusting at the rate we wish we could. But that doesn't mean we should focus on the downsides of that, or focus time and energy on our ex's progress. It helps us stop comparing ourselves to others when we limit our exposure to social media, stop engaging in conversations about them (gossip), and focus our energy on healing ourselves through self-care and introspection. This helps draw your focus back towards yourself so you can heal optimally and fully.
Aedwards7
November 13th, 2020 5:36pm
Its important to be in the moment and not to compare yourself to your ex or anyone else. Take as much time as needed to move on! Everyone takes their own time to grow after experiencing a break up. Reflect, find things that you are passionate about and do things that make you happy. I like to set small goals or achievements for the day ie: go for a walk for at least 10 mins, clean my room, list 5 things i like about myself. Write them down and cross them out once youve completed them. Accomplishing goals big or little help me focus on the improvement of myself rather than what others are doing! Time heals! Good lucl
AmarahSofia
November 19th, 2020 7:49am
Start with acceptance. Accept the fact that things didn't happened the way you wanted it to be. Embrace the pain and sadness instead of trying to avoid it. It is okay to cry, crying wont make you less any as a person. Time will come that you are ready to move on, just be patient. After you cry make sure you are not crying for the same reason again. Instead, focus and work on yourself. Engage to different activities, exercise, spend more time with friends and family. Enjoy life. Only time can heal the wounds. Just help yourself, before other does.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2020 6:49pm
I think the best way to get over an ex moving on before you do is to stop following them on all social media accounts first. It’s a lot harder to get over someone when you can “see” them getting over you. Try not to “see” them or obsess about what they might be doing now. Work on doing things that make you happy-old hobbies you used to have, catch up with friends you might not have seen for some time. It also helps to remember that a break up is called a break up because “it’s broken”. Time and distance away can make you realize all the reasons you are better off without them. In time, your memories will be replaced with less painful ones and more indifferent ones. Good luck!
Anonymous
December 9th, 2020 5:39pm
Relax. Spend some time to relax. Let it go as naturally as you can. You can watch a film, play an instrument, read a book, or whatever you want, it is up to you. This will bring you a normal life without your ex. It may be so hard to deal with, but if you feel depressed or something like that, you can imagine your ex is something terrible such as a monster, and you are able to defeat it. Very very cool, right? Don't try to forget your ex. Let everything comes to you in a surprising way. Life is more wonderful than we know in the present!
leanicole113
December 10th, 2020 5:37pm
The best way to get over an ex is by focusing on your personal growth. Spending time with family and friends will be helpful in the process as a support system will make you feel warm in this difficult time. Picking up on new hobbies will allow you to find peace and learn new things about yourself. These pass times will be beneficial in your process of healing. Fuel your body and mind with positivity and indulge in the things that make you happiest. Find your inner happiness and closure as you move onto a new chapter in your life.
Kokakolakc
December 13th, 2020 6:52pm
The best thing to do is to know who you are and what you like. Your living your life for you and only you, so live your life to the fullest! Distract yourself with the stuff you love and the people you love. Try something new or talk to new people. Also looking at their social media is going to bring you down also so it would be easier to block off all communications and take them off of all your social media accounts. Also be patient and just let yourself get over it slowly and grow, it takes time.
LilacKalypso9
December 18th, 2020 7:48pm
There isn't merely one way of overcoming a relationship, or the fact that a past love interest has managed to find something/someone new before you. You have to acknowledge that everyone's process of moving on differs on an individual basis. Some progress faster, while others like to take their time (which is more preferable). In addition, just because an ex-partner has managed to move on quicker than you, does not necessarily mean they have found true happiness in their new step/relationship/achievement. If you're still mutuals on social media after a break-up, remove, unfollow, and delete them immediately; seeing them move on (as well as knowing/finding it out) is the last thing you need. Also, remind yourself that you were doing great before meeting and including them in your life. So, trust me, you'll do just as great after being with them. Keep your friends and family close, engage in any form of self-love and self-care, rediscover hobbies/interests which you used to love and had not made time to engage with, be more outgoing. These are some of the ways; try out whatever works for you. Eventually, you will reach your point of post-breakup relief! Take time. Don't be vengeful or bitter. Rediscover yourself. Progress. Be happy.
Mars821
December 26th, 2020 4:42am
If an ex has moved on before you, first take a moment to reflect on how capable you are of deeply loving another person. This is not a weakness- it is a super power! If you can pour so much love into someone ill-fitting for you, imagine how deep your love will be with the right partner. For now, pour that love into yourself. Your ex has their own path at their own pace, comparison wouldn't be fair to either one of you. Take your time, heal any wounds left open, and you will come out stronger than ever!
Yocan18
February 4th, 2021 4:29pm
There really is no recipe to move on quickly but there are things and ways to be that can make the process easier....first write down your feelings or tell a friend....this gets things out of your head and can release some of it.....also be compassionate with yourself...the fact that you are hurting shows you how deeply you can care for someone else and that's a good thing....we often have a tendency to glorify the relationship when it's over..thinking that the person was perfect or if we had only done this or that then things wouldn't have ended....Another thing that is scary is we feel helpless about them moving on...and us being in the same place.....You don't know what their new relationship is like or how long it will last...what you can work on is how you want your new relationship to be and what you want to learn from you ex about what you don't and do want.....in the meantime surround yourself with good friends and cultivate activities that enhance your life....that corny saying...be the person you want to date is very true... become the best you... you will move on ...it's a sure thing...but you will do so at your own pace in your own time and you will be a better person for having had the relationship you had with your ex
gracefulDreamer6406
February 6th, 2021 1:39am
ou have to understand that moving on is a process that takes different amounts of time for different people. Looking at old pictures, videos, an ex’s a social media etc is ultimately harmful to your progress. It is important to surround yourself with people who make you happy and distract you. It is important to also keep busy. When your mind is distracted it is often harder to make room for painful thoughts as time passes. Try out a sport, a reading group, get involved in clubs, or simply continue to involve yourself in activities that make you happy and more comfortable
bouncyWriting5050
February 14th, 2021 11:30pm
I have found that time heal all wound for me. I believe that the best way would be to give yourself time and allowance to grieve that loss. Allow yourself scheduled time daily to feel the pain and let it ebb away. Then immerse yourself in work and wait for time to do its magic. Also, try to cut off all contact with said ex. Avoid checking up their profile on all forms of social media. Avoid discussing them with other people to avoid triggering your own emotions. Find activities to immerse yourself in where you will be focused on helping other people and not just working for you.
Leafyecho9080
February 19th, 2021 8:14pm
Try to keep yourself distracted and work on yourself to become the best version of yourself. Try new hobbies and new things that can challenge you. Distractions are a great way of keeping your mind off things. And remember, it can take a long time so go at your own pace. Nobody can tell you how to move on because everyone is different and you know how you feel about the situation so take as long as you need to and make sure that in the end you become a better version of yourself with knowledge and strength to overcome anything!
Mynameisj831
February 20th, 2021 4:16am
The best way is to immerse yourself in a hobby and to spend time with family and friends while doing the things you love. Be open and explore. When I broke up with my ex who had cheated and started dating the person he had cheated on me with, I was so heartbroken. I picked up yoga and it was the one thing that occupied my mind and body to the extent that I would not be thinking of my ex and be crying. Be sure to get rid of any triggers such as any gifts he may have gotten you or that coffee place you used to always visit. It takes time but it gets better, I promise.
jdanese26
April 14th, 2021 6:12pm
Remind yourself that letting go is an important part of life, but is also one of the hardest parts. If they have moved on, you have to focus on letting go for yourself now. You should let go for yourself rather than letting go for them or anyone else, as this will bring you peace of mind not only quicker, but also stronger in a way. It won't help to linger in the past or be filled with regret. What is done is done and you can't change it anymore. And it won't be easy, but you are strong and you are going to be ok.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2021 1:40am
I have been in five relationships in the span of 6 years. In between, I also dated a couple of guys. It may sound a little sadistic to say this, but I don’t always mind the break up part. That is not to say that I don’t wallow into a pitiful state — far from it. I sometimes lose the energy to shower, eat, etc. I allow myself to grieve. Then, I start picking up healthier habits (this could be anything small like drinking enough water per day, or go on walks, or exercise). If I am unable to do anything ‘healthy’ then that’s fine too. At that point, I rely on my friends or indulge in some non-harmful habits like binge watching tv shows, eating maybe a little too much chocolate ice cream and etc. The point is is this: there is no sure way of ‘getting over your ex’. It just happens, you just have to believe that it does. I also like to think of myself as a rational person. I don’t believe in the sentiment that there is only one person out there for you. That’s why we shouldn’t succumb to the feeling that we are never going to find a better person, or that the person I broke up with was the only person for me. Generally, I allow myself the time to grieve, and then re-introduce myself in the world. It is really important though, that you allow yourself some time to reflect on the relationship. Why did it end? How did it end? What could he/she have done better? What could I have done better? Break ups don’t have to be the end all. It’s a great opportunity for us ‘breathe’, to do the things we said we’d do but never did. You realise a lot of things about yourself. Just don’t rush the process, take it one day at a time. Take it easy on yourself. I don’t say this lightly either.