Whats the best way to get over your ex moving on before you do?
Last Updated: 03/04/2022 at 7:26pm
Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.
Top Rated Answers
I have been in five relationships in the span of 6 years. In between, I also dated a couple of guys. It may sound a little sadistic to say this, but I don’t always mind the break up part. That is not to say that I don’t wallow into a pitiful state — far from it. I sometimes lose the energy to shower, eat, etc. I allow myself to grieve. Then, I start picking up healthier habits (this could be anything small like drinking enough water per day, or go on walks, or exercise). If I am unable to do anything ‘healthy’ then that’s fine too. At that point, I rely on my friends or indulge in some non-harmful habits like binge watching tv shows, eating maybe a little too much chocolate ice cream and etc. The point is is this: there is no sure way of ‘getting over your ex’. It just happens, you just have to believe that it does. I also like to think of myself as a rational person. I don’t believe in the sentiment that there is only one person out there for you. That’s why we shouldn’t succumb to the feeling that we are never going to find a better person, or that the person I broke up with was the only person for me. Generally, I allow myself the time to grieve, and then re-introduce myself in the world. It is really important though, that you allow yourself some time to reflect on the relationship. Why did it end? How did it end? What could he/she have done better? What could I have done better? Break ups don’t have to be the end all. It’s a great opportunity for us ‘breathe’, to do the things we said we’d do but never did. You realise a lot of things about yourself. Just don’t rush the process, take it one day at a time. Take it easy on yourself. I don’t say this lightly either.
The best way to move in is to spend time on self care. Be sure to take the time to feel all the feels but do things that make you feel good. Some examples that I have tried would be a bath or even an afternoon at the spa. Reading a good book. Working out or trying out a new hobby. I've tried painting which stuck and now I paint often. I have a live of animals so I'll spend more time with the dogs. I'm also close with my family so I like to spend time with them. If these things aren't similar for you then make a list of things you lobe and enjoy doing as well as things you want to try out. Start from there. Spend time on you!
It's hard to say because everybody is so different, but I find that going outside and doing activities with positive people that you care about helps out a lot. Do not do get into bad habits and seek substances. That is a very easy way to exacerbate things and keep you in square one. Remember that you deserve to be happy and that you have to be the strong one in this one. If you're trying to get over it before the other person you'd have to see it coming and be guarded Ultimately I think it's just one of those things that only time can fix.
Learn and apply To get over an ex, you can understand what you’ve learned so far. All the negative things that occurred during the union will be lessons for future relationships. You will know what works and what doesn’t work. You will differentiate between good and bad ideas as well. Learn things from the breakup and all the negative experiences and apply this in the future. Love yourself…really If you want to date someone else, why not date yourself. Now’s the time to focus on yourself and learn everything you can about what makes you tick. I bet you thought you already knew yourself well. I bet you’re wrong. After all, I honestly think when you learn to be happy alone, you will see things about yourself that you never thought existed. Love yourself and accept your feelings. Let go and try making new friends or reconnect with old friends.
Take care of yourself first! It's always hard when someone you love leaves, and it hurts to know that they have left behind their love for you too. This is someone you leaned on for support in a very intimate way who's no longer in your life, so reach out to your friends, family, and community. Join clubs and start hobbies you enjoy, meet new people, make sure you're eating and taking care of your needs. Although it hurts now, you are the most important person in your life, and you deserve to celebrate yourself by gathering support, having fun, and being kind to yourself.
Find yourself again, the you that was happy and carefree. Your ex moving on and looking happy doesn't have to be a bad thing, in fact it helps you realise that life goes on. You need to prioritise and find your own happiness again. Try not to spend excessive time overthinking what happened in the past, and blaming yourself for not being better. Trust that what happened, happened for a reason. Allow yourself to feel the sadness of losing that person and then prepare yourself to move on, too. You simply deserve more than just wasting your life away watching what your ex does. It's scary and it won't happen overnight but never give up, you can and will move on and find your own happiness. Stop looking for excuses to watch your ex's every move on social media and in real life, this will only slow you down and worsen that sinking feeling in your stomach when you see them moving on with someone else. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. Be strong, you can do this! I believe in you. Move on and spread your wings, be free and be true to yourself. You deserve your happiness, never doubt that. Good luck x
Each person's time taken to heal from the break of a relationship is different. This period of time is extremely crucial for your wellbeing and it plays a dominant role when you finally get into another relationship. When you aren't fully healed, you take with you baggages from your past into the new relationship, making it difficult for your relationship to succeed. Therefore, do not compare yourself with your ex partner but focus on your own healing and try to build yourself up again so you can be ready to meet the person destined for you. Being single right now will help you understand yourself more. Learn who you are! You are unique and complex. Spoil yourself with everything you wished you could do and couldn't because you were in a relationship. Don't stay idle. Engage in hobbies, find new hobbies, learn new skills, etc. IMPROVE YOURSELF!!! lots of love
It is important to remember that you should take your alone time when you need it, but be careful not to make a habit of isolating yourself too much. Stay social, and attend group outings with friends who make you feel loved and trusted. This time is going to be difficult for you to get passed, but by following the steps I mentioned, it will be easier to get through. It may be difficult to hear but your ex has every right to move on and though you do not have to be happy about it, you can't shut down.
It's important to remember that everyone is different. We all process things such as this in different ways, and it's okay to feel stressed or sad. Just remember that you can take as much time as you need to heal. The amount of time it takes for your ex to move on isn't a measure of how long it should take you to do the same. It's also okay to talk about your feelings, whether it be here or with someone close to you. In many cases, talking about the problem can help you to find where these emotions are coming from.
I think the best way to approach this is to remind yourself that you are worth a lot and that it's okay to focus on things that help you become the best version of yourself. If that means letting go of people that don't respect you, it will be hard, but it also means that there is a lot of growth and happiness ahead of you. Prioritizing on your evolution and growth, such as pursuing your hobbies, might help you process singlehood with more optimism, and maybe you might even find someone new that has similar interests. Even if you don't find that new person, at least you can say that you learned a lot and developed a new skill as a result of this situation.
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