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What's the easiest way to break up with someone?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2021 at 10:26pm
What's the easiest way to break up with someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Singbird
November 13th, 2019 3:27am
Always try to talk face-to-face, be quick and easy about it, it will be hard and it will hurt, but its never right to lead it on or keep them guessing. Honesty is what everyone wants even if we act like we don't want it, but rip the bandage off. Talk to the person and always try to be the better person. Another way would be of course if its abusive or you are scared of the person to do it through phone or bring someone with you for support. Block them everywhere after that, and always make sure you dont end it on very bad terms that would make you feel uncomfortable.
loprei
October 19th, 2019 12:16am
When breaking up with someone, you want to be honest while also remaining respectful and considerate of their feelings. You also want to be sure this is what you want to do, and hold your ground if they protest. The happiness of others should not be at the expense of your own. Personally, I find it easiest to let someone know you want to have a conversation, and make sure they have the time for it and are in an ok emotional state at the moment. If you feel it's necessary to specify why, you should, but otherwise something like "I feel it would be better if we broke up, we aren't the best match and I want us both to be our happiest." is a good way to be mindful of their feelings too.
Anonymous
October 18th, 2019 6:18am
there are many easy ways to break up with someone! but i think what's most important when it comes to breaking up is having a clean and amicable break up where both parties are willing parties. i know this sounds tough. many people nowadays would choose to break up over a text, saying "let's break up". but let's take a moment to think about the other party who's receiving the news - is it a responsible way of breaking up with someone you've spent time with? perhaps a phone call would be the second easiest way where you're able to communicate your thoughts conveniently and quickly!
Anonymous
October 13th, 2019 2:08pm
Sorry you are facing a breakup. This can be a challenging part of life. Although I cannot give you advice, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Would that breakup happen if you were not thinking of breaking up? What would you want the other person to do to break up with you? What is the easiest way of letting go of someone if you no longer want to have them in your life if you still care for that person? Are you willing to remain friends with the person? If yes or no why or why not?
AdmirableGrace
October 10th, 2019 4:33pm
Honestly speaking, there is no easy way to break up with someone. There will be heartbreak, tears, sadness and in some cases- exchange of harsh words. It's extremely important for a person to avoid the latter in every way possible. Talk to your partner gently and tell them that you feel like it's not working out and probably the best to break free from the bond. Acknowledge all the good times you spent together and say that it was a beautiful relationship but it's for the best that you guys stop it right there. And please don't do this over a text or a phone call. Meet him/her up at a place, explain what's been on your mind and remind them that you'll always be there as a friend. Good luck!
Eloja3
September 29th, 2019 3:30pm
Breaking up with someone is hard, and figuring out how to do it is often even harder. I would say that face-to-face is the priority, and if you are able to do it - I would recommend it. Especially if you want a break-up that's clean and shows respect towards the other person. However, there are some exceptions. If you are in a long-distance relationship, a phone call, or anything that can be done vocally. Generally avoid simply texting. If your partner is either abusive, and you feel unsafe breaking up with him, NEVER challenge your safety. In this case, it could be something written like a letter or a text. And if neither feels safe, you can seek help either doing it, or simply make a full clean cut. So, it depends a lot on the situation. This is only based on my own experience, and I'm sure there are plenty of good ways to break up as well :)
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2019 12:12am
I found this site on the internet with an article. For me worked, I hope will work for you too. Read it! Give it a chance. We all know breaking up is hard to do. But unless you're in one of the few teen romances turned happily-ever-after, breaking up is an unavoidable part of life. And while it's up to you to decide what your individual break up style is, if you want to avoid future bad relationship karma, you'll adopt a few breakup basics. Picking the Right Time & Place Doing the Right Thing Avoiding Insensitivity Keeping Things Civil Additional Help
Summerr1000
September 11th, 2019 5:59pm
to be honest and kind and not to do it over the phone! and not to blame them as that can be hard. cut all contact and no social stalking. it will only make it hard on the both of you if you carry on talking. if they are in the same friendship group maybe take some time to chill out away from them for a bit. make sure that when you do break up with the person you are kind and sensitive. dont make it into an argument and try for it to be civil. they might get upset at the time but just be kind and understanding, even if you dont want to
LiteraryKitty
August 25th, 2018 8:36pm
Have a plan, a way to make it as smooth and as painless as possible, while still going through with it. Sit down and really think through the situation- if you have doubts, it makes it harder to commit. If you have to make a pro and con list, do it. Plan what youre going to say, not to the letter, but the general idea of it. Acknowledge the good times and thank them for them, but still explain (it may not feel the same, maybe youre leaving the area, or maybe its another reason altogether), since everyone deserves some sort of explanation. When it comes to things they may have left at your house, pack them up carefully into one place, and bring them with you to wherever you have decided to go through with the breakup. An amiable, clean break is the best way to not have regrets, and to make the best of the situation for both of you
Scruffball
July 8th, 2018 6:46pm
There is no easy way to break up with someone, but having a good understanding of why you want to break up helps. If you can tell your partner why things aren’t working it makes the process easier than just breaking up and not having a conclusion. Doing it in person also helps, but only if that is a safe option. It just means there is more closure and moving in is easier.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2018 1:37am
Confront them in real life and say exactly what you feel. Be assertive and show that you are not changing your mind. But still show empathy toward them.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2018 5:25am
I’ve always valued sincerity. The ‘best’ breakups were forthcoming, direct and clean. They gently told me why they ended it, gave me time to respond and answered the questions I had afterwards. They did not string me along while I was vulnerable. I feel that it helps if the person you cared for can move on as well
AndrewTheSoldier
July 15th, 2018 1:08pm
tell the truth no matter how it hurts it is easier to get over with by ripping the band-aid of fast and slowly recover from that rise and be stronger for it
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 5:46am
count to 3 in your head and just say it, if you think it is good for you and them or even just you, it is great that you realizd what you need to do.
yourenotalonedear
July 18th, 2018 8:34pm
Tell him/her that you don't love that person anymore. I guess this should be enough for a break up.
Nixi3
July 19th, 2018 4:37am
There's no EASY way to break up with someone. Maybe the BEST way to do it is to have a conversation WHY it's the decision you guys have to make because the WORST feeling is not knowing why you guys broke up.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 6:23pm
Being honest is always the best way. If you know they're gonna feel bad about it then lying is only gonna make it worse.
relaxitsjustlife
July 24th, 2018 4:51am
The easiest way to break up with someone is in a text message. However the RIGHT way to break up a written detailed explanation delivered in hand. You can explain your side of things without interruption and it leaves your 'tone of voice' out of the equation. Also there wont be any back and forth, just a clean separation with a detailed reason why. Emphasis on the detailed, if the reason is because it doesn't work then its okay to say that, but lying is unacceptable, even if you are trying to protect them by doing it. If the person does not accept your written explanation well, at least you've already left them, it's no longer your problem. Note: this is not a blanket solution, it is simply my opinion. I have not taking into consideration couples who's lives are deeply intertwined complicating the 'clean break' style of separation.
artsymelody8
July 25th, 2018 6:27pm
Be honest with them. There is no one way of breaking up with someone, but it is important to remember that you are doing this for your happiness and if they truly care for you, they will only want the best for you
wearywickedheart
July 28th, 2018 5:16am
In my experience, the best way is to sit down in a safe but comfortable place, and explain that there are problems. Say things like " I feel" "I think" instead of "you did.... " let the person know that it's not necessarily them as a person but the issues between you that have become unresolvable. Ask for their input but if they start becoming verbally or physically aggressive, end the conversation
WaterColorWitch
July 28th, 2018 5:38pm
You just do it. You leave and block them and never contact them ever again, leave everything behind, avoid them for ever. Take refuge with friends and family. That is the easiest way. It is not the right way usually, but in an emergency, and it's not even easy at all. But it's a clean break. You'll still have to clean up the mess after it though, and if you respect the person you wish to leave, it could be cruel or it could be kind. It depends on the relationship.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2018 10:29pm
be honest, don't point fingers, express your feelings in a kind and gentle way, if you care about the person, they might be a better friend
heartfulPower23
August 10th, 2018 4:55am
easiest way is ,just tell them that you are not going well with them ,tell them the truth in a polite way we should always be straight forward in what we are saying .
Brightlights252
August 10th, 2018 11:49am
Sit them down talk over all problems and tell them why your leaving. Tell them all the time that was giving and nothing was done about it. Tell them that there is some compatibility issues within that the person isn't capable of fullfuling and relationship to be fulfilling if not what you don't do another person will
Anonymous
August 18th, 2018 1:16am
Being completely honest with them. Communication is key to a good relationship from beginning to end. By being open and honest with the person they are more likely to see your point of view. They will not feel personally attacked like they might if you were to leave them without a trace. You must let them know why things aren't working, and why you think now is the correct time to throw in the towel. Then, be opening to listening to what they have to say in return. Be open to hearing their perspective and you may learn new things about how they were feeling.
RicardoNavarro
August 23rd, 2018 2:52am
In person, you have to be calm and respectful, its not an easy thing to do and we might not want to do it, but its the most honest way. You need to have a small approach and have a peaceful conversation. It is also good to give an explanations because if not the person might not react in the best way possible, and an arguement might take place. It is better in person why 1. You are being honest 2. Maybe you dont love the other person no more but at least you show you care 3. You wont feel as bad as if you did it through text 4. You can always see his reaction and emotion rather than text
Anonymous
January 30th, 2019 2:19pm
Honestly, I do not think there is an "easy" way of breaking up with someone. Especially when that person has been an important part of your life for however long. Maybe try having a calm, rational conversation with that person (if that is a possibility) and explaining what has led to the break up. Express your feelings and try to make them understand fully what is happening and why. Answer any questions they might have and be patient with them. Break ups are hard on people especially if the feeling is not mutual. Being patient and understanding will also help give the other person closure on the matter. Hope this helps.
sweetTurtle71
March 10th, 2019 11:53pm
It’s never easy to break up with some one. But I think the most respectful and best way is to their face. Tell them that circumstances have changed and explain yourself. The person you are ending the relationship with does deserve to know this for their own closure. Especially if they have never caused you any physical pain and been abusive. If the end of the relationship is due to feelings changing then this is the most adult way to do it.
ComfortablyCasual
February 17th, 2019 4:06am
In person for sure. Be honest with them about what’s going on and why you want to break up. Don’t make excuses. Just be honest with them and communicate. Be upfront. Be kind. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t be egotistical about it. Don’t make it a competition. Nobody wins a breakup. Overall, just treat them how you would want them to treat you reagarding it. Be positive. Don’t burn bridges. Don’t turn others against them. Don’t hold anything against them. Don’t resent and don’t give them reasons to resent you. Overall, make a breakup a good thing. Don’t make it negative.
justalittlepeace
April 25th, 2019 7:06pm
There is no easy way to break up with someone. Not if both parties care about each other and respect each others feelings. And if they don't? Well then it wouldn't make sense to figure out an easy way, would it? See a relationship is a complicated thing. You have to be careful, thoughtful and yet be yourself. So if you feel like it isn't working out, do what feels fair to both of you. its not going to be easy but honesty doesn't have to be easy. don't stay in the relationship for all the wrong reasons and don't feel guilty for ending something that is no longer what it started out to be. be honest, be compassionate, be clear about what you are conveying. Also breaking up with someone in person is more respectful than over a text or phone call. There you go!