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What's the easiest way to break up with someone?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2021 at 10:26pm
What's the easiest way to break up with someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
relaxitsjustlife
July 24th, 2018 4:51am
The easiest way to break up with someone is in a text message. However the RIGHT way to break up a written detailed explanation delivered in hand. You can explain your side of things without interruption and it leaves your 'tone of voice' out of the equation. Also there wont be any back and forth, just a clean separation with a detailed reason why. Emphasis on the detailed, if the reason is because it doesn't work then its okay to say that, but lying is unacceptable, even if you are trying to protect them by doing it. If the person does not accept your written explanation well, at least you've already left them, it's no longer your problem. Note: this is not a blanket solution, it is simply my opinion. I have not taking into consideration couples who's lives are deeply intertwined complicating the 'clean break' style of separation.
artsymelody8
July 25th, 2018 6:27pm
Be honest with them. There is no one way of breaking up with someone, but it is important to remember that you are doing this for your happiness and if they truly care for you, they will only want the best for you
wearywickedheart
July 28th, 2018 5:16am
In my experience, the best way is to sit down in a safe but comfortable place, and explain that there are problems. Say things like " I feel" "I think" instead of "you did.... " let the person know that it's not necessarily them as a person but the issues between you that have become unresolvable. Ask for their input but if they start becoming verbally or physically aggressive, end the conversation
WaterColorWitch
July 28th, 2018 5:38pm
You just do it. You leave and block them and never contact them ever again, leave everything behind, avoid them for ever. Take refuge with friends and family. That is the easiest way. It is not the right way usually, but in an emergency, and it's not even easy at all. But it's a clean break. You'll still have to clean up the mess after it though, and if you respect the person you wish to leave, it could be cruel or it could be kind. It depends on the relationship.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2018 10:29pm
be honest, don't point fingers, express your feelings in a kind and gentle way, if you care about the person, they might be a better friend
heartfulPower23
August 10th, 2018 4:55am
easiest way is ,just tell them that you are not going well with them ,tell them the truth in a polite way we should always be straight forward in what we are saying .
Brightlights252
August 10th, 2018 11:49am
Sit them down talk over all problems and tell them why your leaving. Tell them all the time that was giving and nothing was done about it. Tell them that there is some compatibility issues within that the person isn't capable of fullfuling and relationship to be fulfilling if not what you don't do another person will
Anonymous
August 18th, 2018 1:16am
Being completely honest with them. Communication is key to a good relationship from beginning to end. By being open and honest with the person they are more likely to see your point of view. They will not feel personally attacked like they might if you were to leave them without a trace. You must let them know why things aren't working, and why you think now is the correct time to throw in the towel. Then, be opening to listening to what they have to say in return. Be open to hearing their perspective and you may learn new things about how they were feeling.
RicardoNavarro
August 23rd, 2018 2:52am
In person, you have to be calm and respectful, its not an easy thing to do and we might not want to do it, but its the most honest way. You need to have a small approach and have a peaceful conversation. It is also good to give an explanations because if not the person might not react in the best way possible, and an arguement might take place. It is better in person why 1. You are being honest 2. Maybe you dont love the other person no more but at least you show you care 3. You wont feel as bad as if you did it through text 4. You can always see his reaction and emotion rather than text
LiteraryKitty
August 25th, 2018 8:36pm
Have a plan, a way to make it as smooth and as painless as possible, while still going through with it. Sit down and really think through the situation- if you have doubts, it makes it harder to commit. If you have to make a pro and con list, do it. Plan what youre going to say, not to the letter, but the general idea of it. Acknowledge the good times and thank them for them, but still explain (it may not feel the same, maybe youre leaving the area, or maybe its another reason altogether), since everyone deserves some sort of explanation. When it comes to things they may have left at your house, pack them up carefully into one place, and bring them with you to wherever you have decided to go through with the breakup. An amiable, clean break is the best way to not have regrets, and to make the best of the situation for both of you
JordO
September 19th, 2018 2:05am
Telling the thruth to the other person and be calm while you do that, the thruth always is a good path to make things easy and clearly, but first think about it. Then you can be sure about breaking up with someone and is not neccesarily to get stucked in that, if you love someone please be sure to fix the mistakes in the relationship and if you don't then don't play games and be honest with the other person, people at first will not understand the way you told them the truth but at some part of the life they will do.
Heretohelpyou606
October 13th, 2018 6:50pm
Tell them how you feel. Do not come up with lies or assumptions, the significant other will doubt himself or herself, just say that it is all you. Say it is distracting you or you are concentrating in your future, or something that is related to your life. Or perhaps just tell them the real reason. But if it is too harsh then do not say it because it will hurt him or her. Say you will still be friends and not cut off the ties between you both. Anything but do not blame them for anything or for who they are.
Anonymous
October 18th, 2018 4:47pm
Don't tell them through text or calls - take a moment to tell them you want to talk to them in person, and try not to draw out the suspense yoo long. When you get your opportunity, directly and honestly tell them you are breaking up with them, and explain why. Be tactful and understand how they must be feeling, and stick around for as long as it takes to explain. Emphasize that the breakup is not their fault, or if it is, try to tell them as honestly and tactfully as possible or just go with a classic 'I just dont feel the same way anymore'. You know them best, so when faced with actually having the conversation, go with what feels right and try to make the other person feel respected and not simply discarded.
TheLinenMonk
October 20th, 2018 12:22pm
The easiest way to break up with someone is to just be honest. Imagine you and your partner switched places and they were asking this question. What would you want them to do? Reactively, you might scream "I WANT THEM TO NEVER LEAVE ME!" Slow down. If they didn't think you were a good fit for them long-term wouldn't you want both of you to move on as soon as possible so you each can have a new chance at finding someone better suited to you? Or would you prefer loyalty even if it resulted in misery and resentment? Break ups sting like heck, but that's the price we pay for being so vulnerable with another person. There is a reason why romantic relationships are rare and are so unlike any other relationship type. The pain is proportional to the love. The best thing you can do is just be honest and handle it with kindness and support. There is no "easy" way, just as there are no easy ways to stay together. This is just a responsibility we have when we commit to others. It is never easy staying or leaving. Accept the responsibility. Be honest. Stand for your reasons. Dont give false hope. Don't try to stay friends (let each other heal).
angelFace94
November 24th, 2018 12:55pm
There is no best way to break up with someone. Maybe try telling that someone in a very subtle way that you don't like them anymore and that you do not feel the same way you used to do. I hope it all goes well!
Omniscient04
December 2nd, 2018 9:20am
Easiest way to break is to change your habits for some time which are not in favour of the partner. When he/she start disliking you and try to find someone else breakup with your partner.It will be easy when your partner start disliking you as they do not want to be with you anymore and this give a chance for breakup. Spend less time,do not pick calls,no texts and keep busy yourself in some other work so that they feel bored with you and slowly their feeling for you will be diminished and they themsleves want a break up soon.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2018 8:02pm
Personally i think the best way to break up with someone is to just talk to them face to face and eye to eye and say something like I'm sorry but i don't think that it is working out. another thing you can do is text with them as some people are scared to say it to them face to face and eye to eye. you could even get a friend to explain to them as some people are just too embarrassed to do it themselves. anyway is fine and you cant be blamed for being a chicken if you don't want to do it face to face. :)
PeacefullyBrave
January 9th, 2019 7:38pm
I feel it is important for the person who is leaving the other to be honest. I look at it as an employer to an employee. The employee gets updates on how things are going. The employee gets to discuss what they would like to see the employer change. It's not just breaking up. Feedback is important throughout any relationship. It should never be a shock. Employer to employee is an example but obviously on a much deeper level. Be honest about the reason. This gives the other the opportunity to work on themselves if they feel the person is accurate on their assessment. Speak to the person in a public place if you think it's necessary. Speak face to face. Texting, email, or over the phone is not acceptable unless there is a distance issue. Answer questions honestly. Be respectful and part ways. If the person you are breaking up with becomes abusive, walk away. You need respect too.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2019 3:23am
To simply break up with them in person. A lot of people feel annoyed and disrespected when broken up with over text, especially if the relationship was extremely important to them. You should tell them in a non provoking manner that you don’t think the relationship is going to work. I know it may be daunting to some people to break up in person but in my opinion it’s easier and more likely to end the relationship without anyone getting mad. You should tell them what you felt was wrong in the relationship, so both of you learn and don’t repeat the same mistakes.
Anonymous
January 30th, 2019 2:19pm
Honestly, I do not think there is an "easy" way of breaking up with someone. Especially when that person has been an important part of your life for however long. Maybe try having a calm, rational conversation with that person (if that is a possibility) and explaining what has led to the break up. Express your feelings and try to make them understand fully what is happening and why. Answer any questions they might have and be patient with them. Break ups are hard on people especially if the feeling is not mutual. Being patient and understanding will also help give the other person closure on the matter. Hope this helps.
ComfortablyCasual
February 17th, 2019 4:06am
In person for sure. Be honest with them about what’s going on and why you want to break up. Don’t make excuses. Just be honest with them and communicate. Be upfront. Be kind. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t be egotistical about it. Don’t make it a competition. Nobody wins a breakup. Overall, just treat them how you would want them to treat you reagarding it. Be positive. Don’t burn bridges. Don’t turn others against them. Don’t hold anything against them. Don’t resent and don’t give them reasons to resent you. Overall, make a breakup a good thing. Don’t make it negative.
sweetTurtle71
March 10th, 2019 11:53pm
It’s never easy to break up with some one. But I think the most respectful and best way is to their face. Tell them that circumstances have changed and explain yourself. The person you are ending the relationship with does deserve to know this for their own closure. Especially if they have never caused you any physical pain and been abusive. If the end of the relationship is due to feelings changing then this is the most adult way to do it.
justalittlepeace
April 25th, 2019 7:06pm
There is no easy way to break up with someone. Not if both parties care about each other and respect each others feelings. And if they don't? Well then it wouldn't make sense to figure out an easy way, would it? See a relationship is a complicated thing. You have to be careful, thoughtful and yet be yourself. So if you feel like it isn't working out, do what feels fair to both of you. its not going to be easy but honesty doesn't have to be easy. don't stay in the relationship for all the wrong reasons and don't feel guilty for ending something that is no longer what it started out to be. be honest, be compassionate, be clear about what you are conveying. Also breaking up with someone in person is more respectful than over a text or phone call. There you go!
CherryBlossom360
June 6th, 2019 6:38pm
There is no "easy" way of breaking up with someone because no matter how you do it, why you do it, or when you do it there is always someone who gets hurt. Honestly, the only sure thing that can make breakups a bit easier is by ending things on good terms. Ending on good terms is important, especially if you want to continue staying in touch. After a break-up the only thing that can heal you (and them) and make post-break-ups a bit more manageable is time: Time can heal most wounds and breakups are no exception.
Wadey
June 6th, 2019 7:12pm
The easiest way to break up with someone is to be understanding, open and honest. You must understand how they feel, and make sure you acknowledge their feelings while also telling them how you're feeling and why you do not see the relationship working out any further. Be honest, but be kind. At the end of the day people are usually effected on both ends of a break up, rather or not they wanted it to begin with. Try to leave things in a positive and mutual state, with nothing unresolved from the relationship so you're left in good standing.
bearsandjellyfish
June 6th, 2019 7:55pm
Tell them straight uphow you feel. Obviously don't be mean or anything, but be comp,etely honest. Tell them what you liked and didn't like about the relationship and whyyou want to end it. Being completely honest with how you're feeling will allow them to cope easier. If you try to sugar coat it then they won't see your reasoning and it will be harder on them as a whole to accept the break up and move on in a healthy manner. If the reasoning is something they're not going to easily accept, you do thave to explain yourself just tell them you aren't happy or healthy and you need to fix that.
Hanaa00
July 11th, 2019 12:01am
First of all, we need to keep this in mind: the easiest, like, the literally least time consuming ways of breaking up with someone are usually not the best ways. They can often cause some unnecessary anger and unwanted reactions. Breaking up over a text, for instance, is one of those ways. But easiest ways of breaking up with someone should be those that involve the most reflection, compassion, and even appreciation. They need to be well thought and carefully planned. They need to be responsible and mature. And it’s important to keep in mind that those ways should aim to leave as little harm as possible.
Summerr1000
September 11th, 2019 5:59pm
to be honest and kind and not to do it over the phone! and not to blame them as that can be hard. cut all contact and no social stalking. it will only make it hard on the both of you if you carry on talking. if they are in the same friendship group maybe take some time to chill out away from them for a bit. make sure that when you do break up with the person you are kind and sensitive. dont make it into an argument and try for it to be civil. they might get upset at the time but just be kind and understanding, even if you dont want to
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2019 12:12am
I found this site on the internet with an article. For me worked, I hope will work for you too. Read it! Give it a chance. We all know breaking up is hard to do. But unless you're in one of the few teen romances turned happily-ever-after, breaking up is an unavoidable part of life. And while it's up to you to decide what your individual break up style is, if you want to avoid future bad relationship karma, you'll adopt a few breakup basics. Picking the Right Time & Place Doing the Right Thing Avoiding Insensitivity Keeping Things Civil Additional Help
Eloja3
September 29th, 2019 3:30pm
Breaking up with someone is hard, and figuring out how to do it is often even harder. I would say that face-to-face is the priority, and if you are able to do it - I would recommend it. Especially if you want a break-up that's clean and shows respect towards the other person. However, there are some exceptions. If you are in a long-distance relationship, a phone call, or anything that can be done vocally. Generally avoid simply texting. If your partner is either abusive, and you feel unsafe breaking up with him, NEVER challenge your safety. In this case, it could be something written like a letter or a text. And if neither feels safe, you can seek help either doing it, or simply make a full clean cut. So, it depends a lot on the situation. This is only based on my own experience, and I'm sure there are plenty of good ways to break up as well :)