When will I stop thinking about my ex?
Last Updated: 04/19/2021 at 7:52am
Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
Top Rated Answers
It must be hard going through a break up. Try to distract yourself with other things. If you need support please feel free to make conversation with me.
When you are ready to move on. And sometimes a that doesn't happen for a while but that's okay. Some people get more attached than others.
Answering this question very simply, one never does! Let's face it, no breakup is a pleasant thing. Often we don't even have a choice in the breakup... However, every one of us have a choice in how we deal with a breakup. It's good to mourn the person and the breakup. It's cleansing. We all know the politics of a breakup and this is for another time. My philosophy is there is always reason. Look from within. I also believe that exes are actually good for one. We grow from these experiences, whether they were positive or negative. In the throws of heartache, frustration and agony, we don't always "get" this. It hurts. Yet, as time passes the pain does lessen. We can gain perspective. With perspective we gain insight. With insight, we grow and become more conscious. Aware of our own shortcomings, which we do have control over and making choices how to overcome the breakup; and gaining strength from it. When we do meet a great person who has the potential to become a wonderful partner, the exes we have accumulated on our life journey are the ones who helped in finding this wonderful person who ticks all the boxes. Look over the years, think about some of the exes you did have, you will either smile or shudder at the thought of still being with them now. There may well may have been one we harbour a little regret over, but that's okay. It shows one's growth and maturity. Love is a wonderful conscious choice, in my opinion. We can think with love and good memories. Wish them happiness, despite some hurt, and let go. Trust yourself and your spiritual higher power to find a more respectful and wonderful love with another.
Here are some useful tips- 1. First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men. She wasn't perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn't even close. Make a list of her annoying traits whatever you have to do -- just take her off that pedestal. 2. Don't Contact Her : Unfriend her on Facebook. Delete all her messages. Dispose off all the gifts she might have given you(if any). Burn that overly romantic appearing card she sent you. If she doesn't need you, you sure don't need any of her reminder either. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. This may appear terribly cruel, but this is the best for you. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with your ex, you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange dude in her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential. 3. Work Out : Now that you’re single, I suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. 4. Hang Out With Your Friends : One of the things you had to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was time with your friends. Have fun with your friends, go watch a movie, a road trip,play FIFA, CS all night long. Enjoy your new self. 5. Remember The Bad Times: Remember how she avoided you. How she had the time to go out with her friends for late night parties or to trips, but lacked 10 minutes for a phone call to your number. Recall how miserable you felt at being the mercy of someone's attention. That guy who keeps putting his cover photo with your "girlfriend". Remember how cold she reacted when you said you are coming to visit her in her city. Remember you told her friend (guy) that you were together and she calls you up saying not to disclose your relationship to anyone. You don't need that. You don't need someone in your life who doesn't want to be there. Forgive but never forget. Here's a lesson life teaches- That people will leave you. Often without any reason. That you will leave people. That one moment it will be so real but will soon be a distant memory. That memories will fade. That life will go on. Without apologizing. Hope this helps. Been there, done that.
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