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Why are breakups so hard to get over?

45 Answers
Last Updated: 01/03/2022 at 8:41pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Graham Barrone, ICHP, MCBT


If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.

Top Rated Answers
November 25th, 2014 11:49am
Break ups are hard because you get used to being in a such a routine and sharing memories with your loved one.
December 8th, 2014 3:45am
You've opened your heart to someone and that leaves you vulnerable. Anything that you've put your heart into that doesn't work out is going to sting, but that's part of being human, and it's terrifying and wonderful and what makes life worth living.
November 29th, 2014 5:39am
Breakups are hard to get over simply because of that emotional dependency. When a person is used to interacting with their significant other everyday, that creates a dependence for both people. Once that union is broken, it feels like a part of you is missing- simply because someone that used to be part of your everyday routine is now gone.
November 27th, 2014 7:00pm
Because you are losing someone you were loyal to, someone for whom you cared (or still care). You are also losing the entire future that you planned with this person.
August 25th, 2015 9:36am
You need to surround yourself with people who make you smile it will be hard but time is the greatest healer. Also stop contact with the other member break all ties is the best way
December 31st, 2014 7:32am
Because it's tough to deal with that part of you that is forever changed by the relationship. At times it might even feel foreign, like it belongs to the person who changed it. Learning to accept the change as part of the new self is what is so tricky.
April 20th, 2015 11:02am
Because you opened everything up and became vulnerable to your partner.
January 26th, 2016 7:35pm
Our eyes are drawn to pretty objects. Seeing beauty is pleasurable to our brain. But, that’s only attraction. As we mature, we look past attraction for more stable qualities, like good character, strong moral compass, the stuff that matters. The stuff that actually define who we are as human beings. Skin color, weight don’t matter when you’re talking to someone. What matters is what lies beneath the skin. Beneath all of the things that we are and are not attracted to. Being in a relationship means exposing ourselves to our other halves, we are emotionally naked when we're in a relationship. Having a person that we trust that much is like finding a needle in a haystack.
August 1st, 2016 6:22am
Humans are habitual creatures that don't respond to sudden changes in life. When you're in a relationship, you get used to a person and they become a part of your life and schedule. For many, they turn into people you're emotionally dependent on and that makes it difficult to accept what happened and to come to terms with it. It's often due to their habitual presence, the emotional dependency you have on them, and the " accepting that it happened" that makes it hard to get over break ups.
April 10th, 2018 2:49am
Because, you have given that person a part of your heart. Let them in to your life. After that they sort of become a family member. Its always rough when a family member disowns his family right?
May 1st, 2018 10:33am
Breakups are often so hard to get over because we are attached to the memories and the feelings that we feel when we are around that person, More often than not it's the feelings we miss more than the person and that is the first step to overcoming a break up, remind yourself that you will be happy again and you will feel wanted again and maybe that person just wasn't right for you but we confuse ourselves with feelings over reality.
November 25th, 2014 1:43pm
Because it is hard to forget a person that has been a part of our life. We've showered them love and they did that in return so it's really hard to forget those things.
November 25th, 2014 1:44pm
Well because you lost a loved one. It is not that easy to adapt to changes. After breaking up, it isn't easy to live your life differently the way you did when you were still together.
December 4th, 2014 9:20am
because its a deep emotional attachment that takes time to develop and takes trust. it takes more time to heal from the hurt that it does when its gone.
December 18th, 2014 3:38pm
Your brain falls in love. As well as your body. When you are in love, your brain releases chems that make you feel good. When its over, the brain stops. You feel addicted to the feeling of being in love. Simple.
December 26th, 2014 12:44am
People have grown close to someone and find it difficult to let that go. It is difficult to go from one form of closeness to not having that as much afterwards. Many people find it difficult to accept that they have broken up with someone. There are guides on this website which relate to Break ups, should a person feel that they need to use them.
April 24th, 2015 1:42am
When you are truly connected with someone, it is hard to get over the emotions and feelings you both shared. Over time though, you will find that your ties to that person no longer exist and you may even connect with someone new.
April 26th, 2015 3:30pm
I find it difficult especially when you have literally given up everything for the person including your own personal space. It becomes more difficult when you literally have to re-learn how to enjoy spending time with yourself and be happy without having to rely on anyone. Learning to be more committed to yourself. It's like you give everything to the person and you have to go through the mess and try and find the things that actually came from you so that you can use in on yourself to be happy.
May 2nd, 2015 5:23am
Breakups are hard to get over because you are breaking a mental and chemical bond you had with someone. All the memories you had with them in the back of your mind and the chemicals for them still there just dormant. Most of the time it takes twice as long as you've been with someone to get over them because you need to forget how you once felt about them.
May 15th, 2015 6:02am
Familiar territory often feels more comfortable then new territory and can be difficult to leave. The fear of change can increase that difficulty. Breakups are not usually very fun for anyone but with enough confidence in yourself, it becomes easier when you finally go for it.
May 16th, 2015 8:08pm
Because breakups means a dirty mark on our love resume. When someone breaks up with us, we immediately think that something is wrong with us or we aren't adequate enough to make them stay. That isn't the case. Sometimes, some people aren't meant for us. When the love you give to a person doesn't work, then that means somebody in the future loves you more.
May 22nd, 2015 1:51pm
Because we are loosing part of our lives. Our "exes" were parts of our past, and it's hard to forget about it
June 18th, 2015 5:58am
Break ups can be tough because they are so intimate and the bond you create during one is usually so strong. The person feels like they are your other half so losing them feels like you lost a piece of yourself. I once read a quote that stated that we lose a piece of our souls in everything we love and that's often why we feel incomplete.
July 28th, 2015 4:25pm
When you part with a person you were once so close with, of course it hurts your heart. You think about all the shared moments, memories, secrets with that certain person.
August 25th, 2015 4:54pm
Because you're attached to that person and you were dating them because you loved them and after you guys break up, things won't be the same anymore. You won't get to say cute things like "I love you" or "babe", you'll pretty much miss the person and the memories.
October 26th, 2015 7:52am
After being with someone for so long, when they leave you feel alone and it feels like your whole world has left
November 9th, 2015 10:17pm
All of the positive energy that was built up has a polar opposite reaction. The reason breakups tend to be difficult is because the energy flow is pulling the exact opposite way.
November 16th, 2015 9:44am
Breakups are hard for us all. Breakups are mainly hard, because we form these close knit connections with someone else, and give them a piece of our soul, but in time, the heartache from the breakup will go away. Everything takes time.
December 15th, 2015 9:57am
Breakups are hard to get over because you emotionally get attached to the person you were in a relationship with.
January 5th, 2016 4:58am
Breakups are hard because you have offered yourself wholly to another person. They've seen the private side of you that you usually keep in check when you're in public. Another person has accepted you, and that's something we all truly want, right? To be accepted in all our oddity and complexity. And for however brief a time, we are. Then suddenly, you feel as if you've shown something you shouldn't have, or your soon-to-be-ex realizes that you're just not the one for him. So he/she leaves. And you're there - open and vulnerable. When we go through a break-up, we are like a hard-boiled egg without a shell - unprotected and raw. And once that hard outer shell has come off, you can never put it back on.