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Why are breakups so hard to get over?

44 Answers
Last Updated: 03/15/2021 at 9:39pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Graham Barrone, Adip ICHP, MCBT


If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.

Top Rated Answers
January 5th, 2016 4:58am
Breakups are hard because you have offered yourself wholly to another person. They've seen the private side of you that you usually keep in check when you're in public. Another person has accepted you, and that's something we all truly want, right? To be accepted in all our oddity and complexity. And for however brief a time, we are. Then suddenly, you feel as if you've shown something you shouldn't have, or your soon-to-be-ex realizes that you're just not the one for him. So he/she leaves. And you're there - open and vulnerable. When we go through a break-up, we are like a hard-boiled egg without a shell - unprotected and raw. And once that hard outer shell has come off, you can never put it back on.
February 15th, 2016 9:41am
Because you gave your whole heart. And breaking up is like breaking your own heart. And because it's already part of who you are. It's a wound. Not all wounds are easy to heal. Their healing depends on how deep it is.
March 15th, 2016 3:29pm
Because its a break-up from a person whom you have loved and cared for and when you have to go away from them or when they leave you, its difficult to get over.
June 13th, 2016 3:18pm
Sounds like your heart is hurting. We're all wired to desire to be in relationship, and when one comes to an end we miss the good experiences and sense of loving and being loved. Talking about the breakup often times helps us figure out our feelings.. I'm willing to listen . . .
August 2nd, 2016 12:39am
I feel breakups are hard to get over because as humans we get used to people and certain routines and when that pattern is disrupted we become highly upset. We like something about that person and when that person leaves or you left, we just miss it that trait and feel like there is no one else that has it. You could have depended on that person for happiness and when they are gone you might feel like they took it with you and it can be a long process to find it again. It also effects are self esteem and we question everything about ourselves making us confused on top of hurt and it's too much for someone to handle.
January 12th, 2017 10:07pm
Breakups are so difficult because they mark an end in a connection that you never thought could be broken. When someone breaks up with you or vise versa, you/ they make a conscious decision that they no longer want that other person in their lives. That can be hard when you feel like you had an emotional connection. But in the end, even though you may feel sad and frustrated that person no longer wants you in their life, if you cared for them deeply then the only thing you can do is respect that person's choice and move on with your life.
July 11th, 2017 5:18am
Going through a break up is hard. It'll be hard to get over because for one you probably still have feelings for this person, and second you put in all this time into one person and then you suddenly don't have them anymore. Even if you are still friends, you might just miss being in a romantic relationship with them.
August 29th, 2017 5:14pm
Because it means leaving the habit, the routines, that we used to do. And thats really hard. Habits are made cus we are doing it for long time. When it breaks, we feel losing something. Empty. But its not forever. Human live with conditioning. so make ourselves feel good even though we are doing what we are not used to do.
December 4th, 2017 11:07pm
I think the reason they're so hard to get over is because the person you were with kind of became a part of you, and when you lose that part of you it's like a missing piece of a puzzle.
April 17th, 2018 10:13pm
It actually has to do with chemicals in your brain. When you love someone it’s sort of like your brain is on drugs and when you don’t have that person in your life your brain goes through withdrawals.
May 8th, 2018 4:59pm
Breakups tend to be harder to get over when you've invested in the person or had long-term plans to be with them. Sometimes, it's about losing the person, while other times it's about losing the dreams we had about the person and the life we had. Scientifically speaking, our positive interactions with a SO give us a boost of good hormones, like oxytocin. When those abruptly stop, we can legitimately feel withdrawal or a pain from the loss as well.
March 17th, 2020 5:13am
In relationships, you and your partner(s) shared intimate details about your lives and were very close to each other. One day, that all changed. Suddenly, all those secrets only your partner knew and all the intimate deals you shared with what you thought was your best friend are now gone. That is insanely tough to deal with, especially if the breakup was unexpected. But, do not fret, eventually all the pain ceases. Although, if you feel like hurting yourself or others after a tough breakup, please go to a licensed therapist and get help. We all are rooting for you!!
September 22nd, 2020 2:08pm
That is a great question. My answer would be that a relationship and a person becomes a part of your life and you get used to it. When it ends you miss the feeling you miss the person and you miss having a relationship. Its okay to miss something even though it hurt you as well in the past. For example you can miss an ex that was toxic but also made you feel more loved than ever. that is normal. but never forget the damage you got or the bad sides because you can find the good sides of a relationship with lots of people. When you breakup you might feel lost and empty because now a big part of your life is kind of missing. But always remember that time really does heal everything and it gets better. You are not alone and you are loved. love and respect yourself first so that everyone else does the same for you.
March 15th, 2021 9:39pm
Personally I find breakups hard because you are losing someone you have trusted your life with and all of a sudden they are gone. It can feel like you are lost or have no purpose. I think that to feel better after a breakup we all need good friends and family to support us through the hard times. Obviously it is not comparable to someone passing away, but it is like the care someone provided you has died. I believe that everyone should speak up if they need support or through help, because nearly everyone will have some experience with breakups, so you might as well ask for some help