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Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?

180 Answers
Last Updated: 03/18/2021 at 4:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
January 31st, 2018 11:22pm
Its natural for us to have arguments, we're human! However it is also good to be aware of healthy and unhealthy relationships
February 1st, 2018 6:11am
Well in my experience the people might be changing, evolving and just end up growing apart. There are a number of reasons just depends on what fits you.
February 2nd, 2018 5:39pm
Bad communication skills. There's a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. If you approach an issue calmly, 9 times out of ten, it won't lead to any arguments.
February 7th, 2018 6:31am
because it makes us feel alive sometimes there are things we don't want to fight over but we do anyways simply because we feel alive doing this
February 7th, 2018 7:37pm
that is normal in relationships to fight over small and insignificant things. focus on what you both want and try to hear each other out because it is the small things that mean the most and can lead to bigger arguments over worse things. if one person feels unheard for example, try to listen and understand your partner
February 23rd, 2018 11:56am
Everything in life is worth fighting for sometimes we are clouded by the bad times and it's hard to see that it can all change so quickly if we work hard and keep pushing through.
March 1st, 2018 1:59am
Possibly because you aren't looking in their prospective as well, try seeing a counselor to try to figure this out as well.
March 1st, 2018 10:35am
Because your relationship is either so great that you don't have anything big to fight over, OR, and actually worse, you are looking for reasons to pick at each other because there are inadequacies you notice in each other that are bothering you, and rather than confronting each other on what they are you half unknowingly cover them up by fighting over the small stupid things
March 29th, 2018 8:41pm
From my personal experience many times when we are faced with a problem we tend to vent out even at the smallest things in life that has absolutely no importance for example if I'm making a sandwich and somebody accidentally puts Tomatoes when I have said I don't like tomatoes how hard is it to just simply remove the tomatoes from the sandwich. Many times we take things too critical when we need to just learn to relax
March 29th, 2018 8:53pm
Well, maybe another question that needs to be brought up is, are you guys fighting over the right stuff? The important things? Maybe, is the fighting over the small stuff a way to dodge other things?
March 31st, 2018 12:20am
To us, these "small and stupid things" are actually "important" to us so we tend to fight over them.
March 31st, 2018 1:09pm
Because sometimes even these small and stupid things make big and meaningful impact. I believe there is no small and stupid thing that can trigger a fight, there's always some reason behind it. Not every one has the same perspective on different matter, no matter small or stupid it may seem for some.
April 4th, 2018 8:45am
Because its easy. Distracts us from the large and scary things. But wars are won one step at the time, so fighting over small things isnt as bad as it sounds.
April 12th, 2018 7:33pm
There may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Try to identify what that is and try to talk about it and work it out.
April 15th, 2018 11:59am
maybe you guy are fighting over small and stupid things because you guys don't talk though it maybe talk though your problems so you guys can work it
April 26th, 2018 2:28am
If you keep doing that there is some sort of incompatibility issue you need to solve. I once knew a couple who made an annual income of close to 300,000 dollars per year. They were financially sound. They had no kids. But, they argued every day, even about the brand of oranges they would buy. When you look at it that way, it becomes clear that there is some sort of problem with the way they treated each other. If you believe that you are fighting about insignificant seeming things, you want to revisit how you're treating each other on a more simple level.
April 26th, 2018 2:29pm
You hadn't mentioned who you are fighting with, it is the same for mostly everyone. If you two aren't communicating and something is up and bothering one of you, then that is bad. You should talk with them and if something is happening to you, then try and talk it out. If it's the other person, however, ask them.
May 3rd, 2018 12:59am
It's a common thing for couples to go through, it might not even be those things that you're fighting about but maybe something larger and its important to note that. You should take sometime to just talk with your partner.
June 24th, 2018 9:20am
Sometimes, when we are tired ir overwhelmed, we easily get irritated over small things. When you feel that you are about to get mad, take a deep breath and think of what you're about to say. If you think it will hurt you if someone said it, then don't say it.
June 25th, 2018 12:30am
What feels small and stupid to one person may feel big and important to another. In our everyday lives, the little things can grow to assume enormous proportions - because an accumulation of little things is what makes up our days!
June 25th, 2018 11:30pm
It happens. Fights aren't great but they are part of a healthy relationship. Fighting means you care or sometimes it means things are just not right. When I tend to fight with someone over small and stupid things I am annoyed or bothered or I just need my space.
June 28th, 2018 12:41am
Imagine a jar which represents the state of mind (I guess), and then imagine filling it with drops of water (or whatever liquid) until it comes to the point of leaking, this would be a representation of us facing with daily stress either at work, at school, at home etc. and adding up to that stress day by day to the point in which any small thing could annoy us.
June 28th, 2018 7:48pm
Small and stupid things have different meaning to different people . its all a matter if perspective. When we change our perspective our attitude changes
July 1st, 2018 5:16am
It could be the response to a problem or fear each part of a relationship might have. Identifying factors that trigger fighting might be good in order to heal the relationship
July 4th, 2018 10:21pm
Bc sometimes people are struggling with things all by themselves and since we’re just humans we just don’t know what to do with and we take it out on someone else. It can have a lot of reason why we’re fighting and why we’re angry but most importantly the answer is that we’re just humans and we’re not perfect. we make a lot of mistakes and sometimes our emotions take over us.
July 7th, 2018 6:24am
There could possibly be to much stress in your relationship/friendship and y’all could talk them out which could possibly help.
July 7th, 2018 7:58pm
Its normal. It would be wierd if you didnt. Fighting over little things( until it gets really serious) is normal in a healthy relationship. Keeping in mind ni relationship is a perfect one. Only you both can try to make it a beautiful relationship. Try working on it a bit. I know you can. :)
July 15th, 2018 6:12pm
As human beings we are complex. Our process to learn something is step by step; that's mean that we are fighting over small and stupid things because in the moment of fighting we think that these things aren't stupid or small; we think that these things are important and we feel them big. When the situation pass, we learn how to do or what to do in the future, we get experience over the time; as a result, we think that they are stupid and small because we know how to deal with them. All is depending on each person's mind and the period of time that the person is passing through.
July 19th, 2018 11:06pm
because when you love somebody. At first, you get obsessed with everything they do and are. Then, at one point everything they do is annoying. Which is when you need to step back and recall why you fell for them in the first place
July 21st, 2018 7:27pm
People have the urge to find things to fight about. There is always something wrong and some people find the need to point it out. It then becomes a snowball effect and people start joining in on the fight.