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Andrea McDonald, MSW, LICSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
It is important to know that you are not alone, life can be difficult I am here to help you navigate and resolve issues that can feel overwhelming.
Top Rated Answers
you are perfect just the way you are, there's no need to change yourself and if he cant accept you the way you are or doesn't appreciate you then he doesn't deserve you. one day someone will love you for who you are one day. you are amazing :)
You do not need to be perfect for him. If he likes you, he will take you the way you are. You do not need to change for the guy. Just be yourself.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 7:34am
Because it's not about him!!!! Everyone has their own idea of "perfect" and I'm pretty sure no one's perfect fantasy person actually exists in the real world. Boys especially can think up very unrealistic beauty standards for women. You are human! And you shouldn't be so worried about pleasing him. If he loves you, he will love you for all your imperfections. If he doesn't, then someone else will. Most importantly, love yourself. Recognize that you can't be perfect and all those things that you might consider flaws really are not so bad and someone else will find them lovely and you should too!
Anonymous
April 24th, 2015 2:23pm
You should never have to be perfect for anyone. Doesn't matter what he thinks. If he can't love you for who you are then he doesn't deserve to have someone as awesome as you
Perfection in one's eyes turns to change. You're the gold, he's the treasurer. Be patient. It's key.
People strive to be perfect. In reality, no one is perfect. If everyone was perfect, then they're be no differences between you and your neighbor. Everyone would be the same. As humans, our brain actually looks for differences in our genetics. It tries to find someone that's the opposite of you in a sense. You'll notice consciously that you love people for their differences. Whether it be that they laugh like a hyena or that they stutter when they're nervous, difference is beauty. If you're trying to be perfect for someone, you're facing an impossible task. In the end, why would you want someone who doesn't love you for you?
Realistically, perfection is not possible as it no one on this planet is so called "perfect". In addition, this MEANS that you shouldn't change your personality and who you are just for him. Just be the person who you truly are around him. Although relationships requires some compromises as well such as, sacrificing a day going out with your friends for him or dress up sexy for him. There are good/bad compromises and its important to not change yourself for the ideal person he wants but change yourself so that you can better for yourself and the relationship itself.
Has he told you that you're not perfect or do you think that you are not perfect for him? Peoples perceptions of what's perfect and what isn't perfect is as varied as what their favorite meal is to eat. If you are happy with yourself and your life that is considered to be more attractive than having someone who is "perfect". Variety and sometimes having someone who is the opposite of us is good for us. It keeps like interesting/exciting.
It's impossible to be absolutely perfect for someone else. Focus on being perfect for yourself, and you'll find the kind of people who like you the same way you do.
have u asked urself is he perfect for u? in a relation thts wat is important :) ask urself....is he worth u?
Anonymous
June 5th, 2015 11:09pm
I have felt this way many times. As I have aged, I have come to realize that I will ever be perfect for anyone. I can only be who I am, imperfect as is may be and if he can't love me for this - then he isn't perfect for me. :)
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2015 8:11pm
Because you don't have to be perfect for anyone. Perfect-ness is just a thing be yourself he will be happy with that
It's not necessarily why you're not perfect for him. Maybe you two don't work out well or maybe it's for the best. Maybe he's not perfect for you. There's so many possibilities so don't blame yourself.
Perfect is a rather strong word. Nobody is and ever will be perfect. We all have flaws, but that's what makes us human. If he can't accept you for who/what you are now, odds are he never will. So, stop trying to be something completely different just for your partner and just stay true to yourself. If you want to change, fine, but always do it for you and nobody else. Be yourself, because everyone else is taken. If he really likes/loves you he will take you as you already are.
you don't need to be perfect for him. you don't need to be perfect for anyone. Be true to yourself, because people come and go, but you're the only person who you will have every day of your life
Please remember this: You are unique in your own way. You are special in your own way. You are who you are. When you think you are not perfect for someone, acknowledge and accept that it did not work out for the both of you but please remember that there will be someone who would love you for the whole you. Every flaw, heartache, joy, and beauty that you have inside and out will be loved and understood by that person who will accept you and choose to love you and be committed to you.
Please do not chase people who do not love you for the whole you nor ignore or reject those who do love you for you. Attraction is only temporary. It will fade in time but real love will stand the test of time and it will not only stand in the midst of difficulties but become stronger once you overcome those difficulties.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2015 2:06am
It takes two to be in a relationship. You both weren't perfect for each other and that's okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Relationships don't always work for a variety of reasons including issues with respect and life changes.
Nobody is perfect. Everyone wants to be perfect for the ones they love, but if he truly loved you, he would accept your flaws and insecurities and be there for you always. So don't worry about being perfect for him, just worry about making him smile.
You shouldn't feel like you need to be perfect for someone, to maybe change to BE perfect. You already ARE perfect. If your significant other doesn't make you feel like you are perfect, then maybe you haven't quite found what you're looking for yet. You shouldn't feel as though you're not enough, not good enough for someone: you are. You're perfect and beautiful and amazing. Just because you're you.
Anonymous
October 20th, 2015 2:46am
Sweetheart, the real question is why can't he be perfect for you? If it's not going to happen, don't make it happen.
It depends on multiple things. First of all, one of the basic reasons for people to feel attraction is the way someone else looks. Believe it or not, people do have a standard for what kind of look they want their partner to have. Second, there's the personality factor, which can be infinitely more important than looks, but that depends on who you want to be perfect for. Overall, guys want what they cannot have. If you want to be perfect for a guy, you have to take care of your looks, be genuinely kind and sweet and funny, but you have to refrain from being desperate or needy. If you do all of this correctly, you can be absolutely perfect in the eyes of a guy, and he will always keep chasing after you. In the end if you want to be perfect for a guy or a person in general, it all really depends on your own willpower and inner way of thinking. (source: personal experience with relationships and boys)
Anonymous
January 12th, 2016 6:15pm
there is no person on this world that is perfect ,you should remember that and you life will be way less stressful :)
Being perfect for another person seems to be a downfall a lot of people have to over come. Instead of think of what is perfect for him, think about what is perfect to you for you strive for that, keeping in mind perfection includes excepting unchangeable flaws. Then, his opinion wont matter so much
Because nobody is perfect. A relationship takes two people to compromise and to commit to each other.
If you aren't perfect for him the way you are, then maybe he's not perfect for you. The right person will love you no matter what, and love each and every aspect of your being; not require you to change to fit his needs. Love yourself first.
you can never be perfect for him only because hes not the one...someone who is yours wouldnt even need you to be perfect because your imperfections and flaws are enough
You are perfect enough for the heart thats meant to love you. if he doesnt, than he is not the one
Nonody needs to be perfect for someone..the thing is when the other person isnt the right one for us, nothing seems enough to make us feel worthy and suitable for him.since he won't value and appreciate us,we end up feeling inadequate
i used to think that too. I always thought I wasn't good enough for anyone but then I just held on to the thought that somewhere in this world I am perfect to someone.
Changing who you are for someone else will lead to resentment. If you don't think you are the right person for him, set him free. You are already perfect the way you are and everyone deserves to be with someone who knows that :)
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