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Why can't i move on after the break up?

52 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2021 at 4:17pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
February 1st, 2016 8:13am
You are unable to move on because you have treated your partner as 'yours' but in fact no matter what you do, confessing, marying... Your partner is still not yours. Why is that so because nothing in this world is permanant just like how a seed grows into an adult plant and will eventually die after a period of time. Have you seen very lovely old couples, one on the bed and the other crying so badly holding each others hands, waving their last goodbyes to each other? Is the partner truly theirs? No... Death will tear them apart. Its true that they married and have sex but so what? They simply cannot escape death when it arrives at the doorsteps so why are you holding onto him? He is not yours! He is somebody out of your family, why invest so much time on someone outside instead of your family? Making yourself depressed trying to attract attention from your ex, but does your ex really cares about you? No they wont care about you! They will move on and you still at the same place, crying depressed hopeless... What for crying when your partner is simply a "moon in the water" where the shadow will disappear one day ? Sorry if the reply was a little hard !
February 16th, 2016 8:16pm
You can. I broke up with someone very important to me, quite recently and I was absolutely heartbroken. I though my life would never be the same and I cried and I cried and I wondered ho I would possibly ever find someone new. Then I realized I had someone. Myself. You are strong and you deserve to be happy and sometimes relationships don't work out and that really sucks, but you can stay strong and the only thing that can heal you is time. I'm sorry you're going through this
April 2nd, 2015 12:29am
It is much easier said than done to move on after a break up. It is hard because life changes and not only do you lose a significant other but you lose a friend as well.
January 24th, 2016 5:29pm
This is probably you didn't want the break up, you made mistake or you were not sure if it is the best thing to do as well as having some unsolved issues between you and your ex partner. Lac of another potential partner push you back to think about last relationship. There can be a lot of reasons for this problem of moving on from your ex bf/gf. If they were your whole world you might also have nothing else to think about than what happened for you. Last thing here: maybe you still love him/her?
January 29th, 2016 12:09pm
When you love someone deeply it's hard to move on. I find keeping myself busy helped. Hanging out with friends, doing crafts, ect. Helps.
January 21st, 2016 8:34am
you can't not move on after a break up because you truley love the person and you care about them and you have deep feelings for the person.
July 20th, 2015 9:13am
It can be because you might not feel enough by yourself or you might not feel complete. You must know that you don't always need a relationship to be happy.
January 22nd, 2016 1:15am
It takes time for you to get over a break up depending on how long you and your ex partner have been together and the reasons why you broke up. Time is a great healer and one day you will wake up and realise that you are over your ex. Keeping busy helps and also cutting off all contact with your ex will help your broken heart mend quicker!
April 1st, 2015 2:00am
Because you still love the person. You still care about your relationship. You still wanted to be love back. You still want to go to the past though you just need to open your eyes for something new. To someone who will never leave you. :)
January 12th, 2016 6:11am
You might still have feelings for the person and that is a natural emotion to feel after a break up. Moving on takes time and as much as people might hate hearing it, time heals all wounds.
March 16th, 2015 11:29am
Breaking up generally relates to one's emotions. The more stronger the emotions are, the more difficult to forget that person. Many a times one might feel that the next person didn't put the soul in relationship & in such period it becomes vulnerable to think more about the past moments. Human mind is always trying to be in someone's company. SO it's better to find an interest and it will help you to move on. That's it. Be Happy!
May 22nd, 2015 5:18pm
The good feelings and memories are what is keeping you from moving on. While they may have been good, there was a reason for the break up. Keep that in mind and you'll start to move on before you know it!
March 16th, 2015 2:12pm
Something belonging to him/her might still be with you. Might be hard, but you need to get rid of it to be able to move on. :)
April 8th, 2015 5:12pm
We all move onward after a breakup at the pace that is right for us. There is no set time frame, or amount of time that you have to have to 'move on'. You do so at the pace that is right for you. Long-term relationships, or well, any relationship where you've been really invested in another person do take a bit longer--- at least that's been my experience. I was with someone for three years, and I broke up with them because they were no good for me (and I finally found the strength to end it), and it took me a couple of years to move beyond that. I took that time to focus on me, what I was doing and improving myself and my life.
April 11th, 2015 9:20pm
Moving on is really hard. Time will help, but it's not going to be immediate. You are going to have emotions and that's ok. You need to allow yourself to feel these emotions. Take time to do things that make you happy, don't allow yourself to be consumed by the breakup. But also take time to let yourself grieve. One day you'll realize that the thoughts about the breakup are occurring less often, that you've moved on without even noticing.
June 17th, 2015 11:27pm
Moving on after a break up can be extremely hard. So give yourself some time to be sad, cry while eating ice cream and watching sad movies or go to that extra boxing class. Once you feel like enough is enough, pack away the tissues and start focusing on moving forward. What helped me through this proces was remembering why we broke up in the first place, remembering all the annoying things he used to do or say. Then maybe you could find a new hobby, something to distract you. Maybe you really enjoyed that boxing class? Or maybe you could try something completly new. Just try to get your mind off him :)
November 29th, 2015 12:38pm
You can't move on after your break up because you still care about that person. You still love him/her. That is understandable and no one can judge you for that. However, you have to come to think of this. Is it worth it when you are still hurting and your ex is there somewhere, happily living his/her life, WITHOUT you? Move on. You should. And I know you can. Just be strong enough to face the future without them.
March 21st, 2015 8:07am
You can't force yourself to move on quickly. Feel the emotions for now because it might be the last time you'll feel these emotions. Don't push yourself if you know you're not yet ready. If you're not yet ready to accept things, you can't proceed to moving on. You can move on, I am sure about that. Maybe not today but someday, when you're ready, brave, and strong enough to do so.
September 15th, 2015 12:20am
Because you need time to heal. Some people take a few weeks, others take a couple of months. It all depends on the person and how in love you were and how much you cling to that relationship.
November 17th, 2015 4:28am
You may have not done enough to find peace. It's hard to move on when you can't accept your situation, you may feel that something in your life is missing. Find that something, and you'll be able to work around it or find a solution.
January 25th, 2016 4:02pm
I usually because you don't want to except the fact that is over and that's okay and normal .. you need to give yourself time to grieve and its okay to cry but you need to except the fact that its over and you can do that in anyway you would like.
February 3rd, 2016 4:47pm
For the most part, simply because we're still in it at that point. We can't move on from a breakup, when we haven't left that breakup. All our soft spots are still sore, and we're still wrestling with everything that just happened. Although our perception of time at this point is warped by the pain, time really is what it takes- that and the acceptance of what we're going through is a kind of pain we have to feel and embrace in order to move on from it.
April 25th, 2016 5:52am
We grow accustomed to a person emotionally and physically. Even when they're gone physically, there is still an emotional attachment that takes time to break. Do your best to distract yourself with healthy coping strategies and in time it will get easier. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. You will go through some phases: anger, depression, self blame etc... but know that it is normal and it WILL pass. Its one of those things you must go through to get through. Be strong...even when you feel emotional, you are being strong by letting yourself go and feel those emotions.
August 9th, 2016 11:03pm
Sometimes seeing someone or things that remind you of them can make it difficult for you to get over them. Spring cleaning your items in a sense, will help you prevent having reminders like this. If there is any way you can avoid them, do so.
May 24th, 2015 1:58am
Because you may still have feelings for that other person and with the time you two spent together isn't something you can just forget about and move on to someone else. You may also be very hurt from the breakup and you're still reflecting on those feelings. You may also feel that your heart will be broken again and this is something you're not ready to take a chance on at this point in time.
June 22nd, 2015 2:27pm
Because you have emotions, which is perfectly natural. Everyone takes different times to move on, and some people are affected differently. I'll never forget my last relationship and how it hurt me, and it took me a very long time to move on; she was with another guy immediately, which is a stark contrast of how I would have handled it. Take time to move on, don't force yourself. Sooner or later, things will turn upward, and you will be able to.
June 30th, 2015 6:36am
I think because your not fully trying on should try letting it should keep in mind that they were not worth it and good is yet to come
July 27th, 2015 1:56pm
You can't move on right after the break up because you're human. Don't be so worried about it. You're going to be able to move on eventually but it's going to take time. You cannot just easily turn off your feelings for someone, especially if you've invested so much time and effort. And that's okay--- because people have different time frames and ways on coping up.
October 27th, 2015 11:24pm
Sometimes it takes time to process an emotional loss, break ups might seem common, but they can have heavy emotional consequences, moving on can be difficult, but time does heal, and if you find yourself in a difficult position, reach out for help, family and friends can always be of great support.
November 30th, 2015 3:11am
The reason you can't move on after a breakup is because you have invested all these feelings and your own experiences into a relationship. So leaving that relationship means leaving all of that behind , and it's not as simple as just walking away.