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Why can't I seem to move on?

141 Answers
Last Updated: 03/19/2021 at 5:24am
Why can't I seem to move on?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 17th, 2016 5:37pm
Please excuse the cliche "time is the best healer", I know that it is easly said and much harder to allow. From my own personal experiences I can admit that its very true that it takes time to move on. Try keeping yourself active through this time with hobbies or mindfulness exercises as they will help. If your finding it really hard then please contact a listener or therapist for support.
EsperanzaGP
February 15th, 2017 8:52pm
Sometimes there are strong emotions that can get you stuck in situations that have shocked you or made you sad while you relive them in your head over and over trying to make sense of it. It can take quite a bit of strength and time to learn to put your thoughts aside and concentrate on something else instead, but it can be helpful to remind ourselves that we can't change the past, but we are still in control of our lives.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2017 10:29am
It's often hard to move on from someone you love and from someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. Usually it's hard move on because we hold on to memories. Try keeping yourself busy
brightHeart99
November 29th, 2017 9:11am
Because were still holding on to that memories or so were still holding in the hope we have, if we let it go even it hurts, little by little we can be happy and move on.
Fluttrr
January 5th, 2018 1:16am
I think that in most cases, people take the wrong approach to moving on. People repress their feelings and try to rationalize the pain away, while that only pushes the pain away instead of removing it. You don't heal, you just avoid. In order to properly move on, you need to embrace the pain, let yourself feel bad, admit to yourself that you did something wrong and cry in bed about how dumb you are for doing what you did, no matter if it's true or not, just anything your heart tells you. This might seem counter-intuitive, but it really does work, even for the moment, because you quickly stop thinking about it if you do it this way. This doesn't mean you should lose hope though, that is still really important. I think that if you do this, you are on your fastest way to properly move on, I sure hope you will as soon as possible though.
Anonymous
February 28th, 2018 3:08pm
The broad nature of the question asks many other questions that can only be answered by converging to a general answer; the reason for the question is usually the answer. You need to search for the basis of the question to enable you to understand the reason for the question. If you then insert moving on into the context of the answer you can then formulate a means to approach the way to ask yourself what am I moving on from? What can I do to enable myself to move on? and How can I ensure I do not fall back into the same question? The answer really falls with yourself. You need to probe to understand what you are moving on from, how you can enable yourself to move on.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 1:56pm
There’s still a tiny shade of hope inside you, that things will change to your favor. You are afraid of being alone.
Scarlett15x
May 26th, 2018 5:58pm
You may not be able to move on because you don’t have closure, or maybe it’s because you didn’t get say what you wanted or just need to talk through the relationship with someone?
Anonymous
September 26th, 2018 3:13am
We sometimes find it very difficult to let go of things that once meant the world to us. We love the memories and refuse to forget about them and that's ok but it won't be ok when you lose touch with reality.. it's totally normal to not want to move on, whatever your reasons may be , but it's important you learn when to let go when you are hurting too much. Ask yourself is this really worth my mental and physical health? Is what I refuse to move on from contributing positively to my life? If the answer is no then you must let go. Seek help if you must
positiveXia63
August 17th, 2019 2:59pm
The reason most of us can't seem to move on from something that was toxic to us, is simply because of the regularity and routine. Take a breakup for example; people tend to not miss the person themselves, but they miss the routine of when they were with them. The always having someone knowing they'd be there to listen, always having the plans with someone, and without it, life can start to feel lonely because we feel as if we couldn't make it work on one thing, we'll never succeed in another and that's just not the case. The truth is, we will be okay, but it will take time to get back to what makes us happy for ourselves rather than focusing our energy on other people.
Eclipsa93
January 18th, 2020 7:10pm
When someone doesn't want to move on, it could be linked to many things like regret, fear, hurt, or sometimes just not being ready. First, figure out if you really want to move on. If you decide that you don't, then it's okay. In order to move on, you have to be mentally, emotionally and physically ready to move on. When you've gotten yourself ready to take the next step, analyze why you can't. Ask yourself questions like "why am I still holding on?" and "What the pros and cons are to letting go?" Accept how you feel and try to keep yourself busy. Idle hands make for wandering minds. Focus on yourself and do things that make you happy and better your situation. Remember that laughing is the best medicine. Share laughs with those that you care about. I have a hard time moving on so I had to learn to make myself happy and if it's meant to be it will be.
JoeyTribbbiani
October 8th, 2020 9:14am
I think there may be a couple things going on here. For many people, the only way to move on completely, is to get into another relationship. It's just how humans are. There can be a person shaped hole in your heart, and you need someone else to focus on specifically to get your thought processes past the past. You loved that person. It is probable that this person was an almost good fit, BUT for some big reason that interfered with the long term. This happens all the time. Humans have feelings. And nothing is more difficult than having to realize that what we want we can't have, or is bad for us. Re-framing your thoughts would help. eg. Mary was a good person, but she couldn't commit. That's OK, she has to live her life, I have to live mine. I will do better. Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? If the person was truly a bad force in your life, please seek some therapy. Continually choosing cheaters, abusers, addicts, or people doing criminal activities is a cycle you want to break. There is a drama aspect that can make these sorts of relationships very exciting, and so addictive. A little CBT, and you can learn to alter your thoughts to be more real in your own life Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) If you are having anxiety, you can also try EFT Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - Emotional Health Many people have found relief in this simple method of redirecting your thoughts.
divinewillpower86
April 16th, 2015 11:12am
well, cause you have looked at one point and just stumble upon there. Life is full f things. Though one stopped at one place till though life is going on. Philosophy!
Anonymous
October 9th, 2016 6:47am
It takes awhile to move on. Especially when you're still talking to them, distract yourself with good friends.
intern
October 28th, 2016 12:05am
Hmmm because you are attached to someone who you cannot forget or life without you are addicted to someone
LeighAnnListens
November 10th, 2016 5:41pm
Moving on is hard and done in your own time. You may still have reminders in your life that are pulling you back. In other words, you might not have a blank slate to start anew from.
Anonymous
November 27th, 2016 4:40am
You probably can't seem to move on since a part of you is still hung up on that certain thing. You can't just wish for yourself to move on. It take time, and before you know it, you have moved on without thinking about it.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2016 10:54am
Letting go can be tough but the reason for me to not move on was that I was trying to forget whereas I should have tried to realize that I needed to remember the bad in order to identify the good which will come in future, once i did that, I could move on happily.
Katsgaloree
March 3rd, 2017 12:04pm
You're stuck in the past. The lovely memories that has since past. You desire to recreate them. You're trapped in that fantasy world filled with happiness and adoration. Only time away from that person can heal you until look at them as a memory of your past.
Laks1
August 13th, 2017 5:52pm
You can't seem to move on because you keeo dwelling on the past. When you still hold on to something, it prevents you from moving on. You can't move past it but when you let go, it has no room to even be on your mind or affect you
generousWaterfall39
September 14th, 2017 5:16am
Everyone heals at their own pace. One of the most important and sometimes challenging aspects of healing is being gentle with yourself. Listen to your needs, stay positive about the progress you have made and revisit the feelings when you are ready. You are not alone. People often go through times when they feel "stuck". My experience has been taking a deep breath, acknowledging where I am and accepting it with compassion allows me to move forward once again.
comfortingTruth71
October 15th, 2017 3:57pm
We often find excuses for ourselves when we need to do some changes: "it's not the right time", "I am not ready yet", "I don't have time." Changes scare us and we rather choose to stay in our comfort zone than go out there and chase our dreams. Stop repeating the same stories in your head and decide to take the leap.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2017 3:33pm
Part of you is still attached to what you are stuck on and part of you doesn't want to let go to whatever you had
eeveeon
December 6th, 2017 9:15am
Moving on isn't meant to be easy. It is one of life's many challenges. We are here to learn from what we do - and here you are learning the case of letting go and moving forward. You probably can't because you are so stuck to the norm, you might be scared of something new and a new life. You could be experiencing negative fortune telling. There can be many things causing you to fear or retract moving on, but with time you will get used to it and become more comfortable with it.
JRAS
December 9th, 2017 7:45pm
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SEEING THE OTHER HAPPY PART OF LIFE,LIMITING YOUR HAPPINESS IS NOT GOOD THERE ARE OTHER FACES TOO TO MAKE YOU HAPPY
mc1529
December 10th, 2017 12:52am
Moving on can be a truly hard experience. It takes not only time but actively trying to put them out of your mind. It will be hard but at some point you will be able to feel yourself let go of the feelings attached.
absentveins
December 13th, 2017 7:09pm
Moving on can be a pretty hard process. When me and my boyfriend broke up, I had trouble getting over the fact that we did. I was looking for him everywhere, and this went on for as long as I can remember. I still loved him even though he was an asshole but one day I had enough and went my own way. It's not easy for everyone, but for me, I started taking care of myself mentally. I started writing to express myself in poetry and I got into sports and reading. I went my own way and I kept telling myself that he didn't deserve me, and that I deserve someone who loves me and won't hurt me. It wasn't easy, because I still kept looking for him at times but taking care of myself mentally and physically took my mind off of things and made me focus on myself more. Try to look at the bright side of life, even if for you, it was them. There's so much at life you're gonna miss if you keep focusing on how it used to be with him/her. Live for yourself, not anyone else.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2017 1:23am
We can't move on because we still don't accept the fact that we have to. We're still holding on to the memories, and to the joy we once had.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 9:56am
Moving on takes time. Letting go takes time. In time you will forge new experiences and new memories that will replace what you are hanging on to. Be patient... time heals
Recall
January 4th, 2018 10:50pm
Moving on always seems the most difficult task in life and it is okay to feel you're stuck and unable to move forward. The first step that may aid to move on is acceptance. Acceptance starts when you accept that chapter of your life is over and many good things to come along in the near future :)