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Why can't I seem to move on?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 8:17pm
Why can't I seem to move on?
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
Recall
January 4th, 2018 10:50pm
Moving on always seems the most difficult task in life and it is okay to feel you're stuck and unable to move forward. The first step that may aid to move on is acceptance. Acceptance starts when you accept that chapter of your life is over and many good things to come along in the near future :)
krishna9762
January 18th, 2018 5:30pm
Moving on is not based on how we think about ourselves or how we try to change ourselves to the surroundings. Moving on is when we decide that what we have been doing so far is not the best for us and we are able to see a better future.
Thegirlwhowrites101
March 1st, 2018 1:17am
When we go through something, sometimes its hard to move on. It takes time to heal and move on from something.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2018 10:12am
A few reason: you could still be attached to the idea of the person, the memories you shared with them, maybe being afraid that you may not have that again with someone else. But, it ended for a reason - remember that. Once you stop surrounding yourself with the thought of them or things that remind you of them, then you can fully move on. Don't dwell on what was, think of what could be ( a better, happier, you)
Vikas
May 30th, 2018 9:35am
Hi dear friend ! My personal experience on this is that its not easy to do so in general, as your existence somehow gets defined / limited by something; i.e, its some sort of comfort zone or, habit or something like that. You just don't want to take risk to explore the other possibilities.... maybe you're lacking confidence or, faith or, just --- you think moving on may lead to further complications, i.e you fear... But believe me ... at times its the best thing to do which can enable you to grow further in life, rather than sticking to something you're not destined for .... Good Luck !!!
FakzWift
June 14th, 2018 2:43pm
There is never a definite answer as to why someone cannot move on. It is different for every person and every relationship.
Octoberskye1996
June 14th, 2018 5:41pm
Sometimes it is hard to move on after a breakup. I think if you give yourself some time that you will eventually start to feel better.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2018 7:20am
Maybe it's just the psychology of yours playing with you, maybe subconsciously you are holding yourself back, this isn't something you should blame on yourself, this is something you should be aware of so that you can overcome :)
endlesstory
February 22nd, 2019 6:23am
People get attached to things that make them happy, and everyone moves on at their own speed. From personal experience, I know moving on can be difficult, but telling yourself you can helps. Sometimes moving on is harder at first, but once you start moving along, the process can become easier. Just because you have a hard time moving on, doesn't mean you never will. Remind yourself that you can do it, and I know you can too. Everything takes time, but if you are determined, you will be able to move on. Stay strong, and keep going! Goodluck!
Anonymous
April 4th, 2019 5:34pm
Moving on is challenging. Personal growth is challenging. Moving on requires healing, forgiveness and confidence. When my heart is broken after a situation that I cannot move on, and think of 'moving on', I have to evaluate myself and understand why does this situation affects me that much to the point that I cannot stop thinking about it, makes me anxious, or it causes me fear. Sometimes it is because we compare ourselves to others... sometimes it is that shock and sense of unbelief that makes us unable to accept what has happened. When we don't dedicate time to analyze, understand, and accept, we cannot heal. When we don't heal, we don't forgive, and when we are not forgiving, we cannot trust or/and have confidence. It is a process, which begins within the heart, and a true desire to be free from negative feelings.
Bry3995
April 20th, 2019 9:23pm
Break ups can be draining. You've invested a large part of yourself in another person. You've devoted time, energy, and feeling into being with someone. When the relationship ends, you can't get that investment back. You need to replenish what you lost. That can take some time. Building up your confidence and trust can be difficult. You shouldn't expect to be ready right away. Over time, be it weeks, months, or even years, it should all come back naturally. Good things take time. This is a natural occurrence. If you need help feeling ready, feel free to contact myself or another listener!
Anonymous
December 5th, 2019 4:56pm
Our feelings of love could still be there but instead of cooling it off, thinking more about it fuels those feelings which may lead to yearning. It makes us want what we once had, despite the difficulties that relationship had. I have only been in serious relationships and those are truly heartbreaking when it ended. I couldn't seem to move on as I kept on reminiscing how perfect I thought we were for each other despite the flaws we had. But I cannot continue picturing the past so I distracted myself with good thoughts and productive activities. I surrounded myself with supportive friends and family. Recently, I've learned that it's not moving on but "moving forward". It's unlikely to forget and just move on as if it's easy, but to move forward in life as you carry those burdens, hurts, and the memories of the past. That even if you do not forgive or was not forgiven, it takes acceptance of the reality and to continue on in spite of it.
incredibleTurtle3588
April 16th, 2020 7:56am
The truth about not being over it, about not moving on, about not being able to let someone go is simply, because you aren't ready to. It means you aren't ready to face a world where you will be okay without them. You aren't ready to see the instances where they were not right for you. Maybe we should see the bigger picture. Accept the fact that this wont work. Maybe you still have a hope of him/her coming back, which clearly will not happen. So you should accept the fact and let it go. Free yourself from his/her thoughts and focus in yourself and your growth. And soon you will do great.
kindEars2121
May 22nd, 2020 2:55am
I think there may be a couple things going on here. For many people, the only way to move on completely, is to get into another relationship. It's just how humans are. There can be a person shaped hole in your heart, and you need someone else to focus on specifically to get your thought processes past the past. You loved that person. It is probable that this person was an almost good fit, BUT for some big reason that interfered with the long term. This happens all the time. Humans have feelings. And nothing is more difficult than having to realize that what we want we can't have, or is bad for us. Re-framing your thoughts would help. eg. Mary was a good person, but she couldn't commit. That's OK, she has to live her life, I have to live mine. I will do better.
Acekismet27
June 3rd, 2020 7:52pm
When I feel like we can not move on from something or progress through something then I try my best to let it go for a bit. I distract myself with an old interest or hobby that is tried and true for me. Get some More fresh air and move my body more. I meditate and make the goal to quiet my mind or focus only on one thing. I ask myself what is it that holds me back? Am I scared? Is there something I am struggling to understand. What is the next step? Can the step be broken into smaller steps? Whats the worst thing that could happen if I move forward? Whats the best thing that might happen?
Rebekah029
June 12th, 2020 11:30pm
Sometimes moving on is a lot easier than it sounds. A person may have treated you poorly whether that be cheating, lying, or not coming to you. But sometimes it's hard to remember that and instead you can foxate on the good times, even if there were very few of them, making it even harder to move on. It's important to remember that this is completely natural and one day, it will get easier. Remember you are worth more. And if actually they were good... Maybe they just weren't ready. Always reach out to talk to someone if you can.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2020 3:26am
yes its not natural that's rightyes its not natural that's rightvyes its not natural that's rightyes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right yes its not natural that's right
Anonymous
October 9th, 2020 4:46am
I think I have moved on after all those hurdles of life. If I tend to push myself then it will happen eventually. Nothing can be as important that someone will self harming ones own motivation. So we always have to look beyond our limits to find those colors that will make us feel lot more better about ourselves. If we do not help ourselves and understand ourselves, who else can. We just need to give ourselves thag time and patience that we have always invested for others. Sometimes that helps us to grow from within. It also reflects how we have Hopes to love ourselves like we want to be loved
Anonymous
September 15th, 2016 4:29pm
Because you kept thinking about him/her. You'll get through it someday before you even realize about it
Anonymous
January 7th, 2017 10:43am
Sometimes it's hard for us to move on from things because a part of us hasn't finished with whatever it is you want to move on from it's like a reading a chapter in a book you need to finish that chapter deal with emotions in there first
TiffanyLauren
April 16th, 2017 3:50pm
I can't seem to move on because no one can't replace him.. on what he did to my life. he literally colored up my greyscale surroundings by his love for me, endless courage and bravery in dealing with our own lives alongside our relationship. I still hope he'll come back. I just cant seem to man up and color up my life on my own.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2017 2:01pm
Moving on is hard, in order to do it you need to have got over whatever is stopping you. To do that you have to embrace the changes in you life
BigLuMonday
July 28th, 2017 4:40pm
It's easy to get bogged down when you don't see any tangible progress. The mind wanders, sticks to old pains and failures for an odd sense of security. And moving on is scary, it's change and we're conditioned against change. Positive change requires long-term commitment and it's all right to fall off the path. But we can always get back on it, we just have to be patient.
princess00
November 10th, 2017 9:30pm
This happens to people a lot, you truly loved this person and they ended up hurting you pretty bad in the long run, and you just can't move on, all you really can do is wait patiently because nothing can mend a broken heart better than time. But if you want to, you can try talking to other people and see if any of them help you move on..
stormiethomas
November 11th, 2017 9:11pm
Being stuck or hung up on a situation is perfectly normal. It is okay to be afraid of change or otherwise. Letting go is a difficult task so be patient with yourself.
discreetCat9959
November 12th, 2017 10:35am
The Anxiety of the next step(s). be strong. life is short. I say this sitting in the same boat. Perhaps we are too afraid of the pain others may feel.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 9:28pm
Because you've caged yourself in a place that you don't belong to, so you're feeling that your goals are useless related to the cage you're in. Get out of the cage at first, then think what are your goals and set a plan to reach them.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 4:18pm
Sometimes we feel that we can never move forward after things happen I think one step at a time is important as in time join all of the steps together and you will have a future
Demons3
April 4th, 2018 3:40am
Moving on can be hard but from my personal experiences it is because your either constantly reminding yourself of what your trying to move on from or you are around things/people who constantly are reminding you of it/a person.
Ivoishereforyou
April 12th, 2018 12:51pm
Because there is still some memories of your ex left. Try to fill your day with more activities that keep you in a positive mood. Go on a new relationship sounds like the fastest way to make new memory. But that's all on you.