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Why can't I seem to move on?

147 Answers
Last Updated: 12/10/2021 at 2:34pm
Why can't I seem to move on?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2020 7:24pm
There are lots of reasons why you might not be able to move on, it depends on the situation! Sometimes you are constantly reminded of something and you just can’t forget it. Being reminded everyday means every time you are ready to move on it all comes back. Sometimes something is just in your mind, like an itch. You always end up thinking about it even though you know it will make things worse. Why you can’t move on depends on the situation, is it someone of has something happened? Whatever it is means that there are different reasons behind why you can’t just move on. Moving on is hard and just because it can feel like you’re the only one struggling, your not. Moving on is difficult for everyone and can be one of the hardest things to overcome. You’re not alone!
heretohelp5555
April 15th, 2020 6:06am
Moving from something you are attached to can be difficult because of the emotions involved with it. It takes time and effort to make peace with your feelings. I think taking sometime to discover what you like and focusing on your hobbies and building on yourself can be a great way to move on from a traumatic event or whatever you went through. It is important to seek the support of your loved ones and even professionals if necessary. Your life and health should be the utmost important to you because it is a gift that you have for a very limited time.
incredibleTurtle3588
April 16th, 2020 7:56am
The truth about not being over it, about not moving on, about not being able to let someone go is simply, because you aren't ready to. It means you aren't ready to face a world where you will be okay without them. You aren't ready to see the instances where they were not right for you. Maybe we should see the bigger picture. Accept the fact that this wont work. Maybe you still have a hope of him/her coming back, which clearly will not happen. So you should accept the fact and let it go. Free yourself from his/her thoughts and focus in yourself and your growth. And soon you will do great.
Luxia0
April 17th, 2020 2:32pm
There may be many reasons for you not being able to move on. You are a unique person, and therefore you are the one who would know the best answer. Try to view your issue from your best friend’s point of view. What would you suggest for him/her to do? Try to identify the main problem which may be holding you back or causing you doubts. It may be helpful to break it into smaller things and try to develop possible solutions for them. If you identify the main problems, it will be easier to move on. You can start by thinking of major changes in your life which might have caused your situation.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2020 2:14pm
Maybe it's because you have been so stuck on the past that you find it weird to let go, you feel as if you let go everything will be lost or you will be lost, you feel as if you will never be the same again if you let go, or you are just afraid of moving forward, it can also be the fact that you don't want to go through that again, or the fast that you are afraid of the future of what it may hold for you that you may not be ready to take on anything else so you feel the need to hold in to your past a little more longer until you are ready
kindEars2121
May 22nd, 2020 2:55am
I think there may be a couple things going on here. For many people, the only way to move on completely, is to get into another relationship. It's just how humans are. There can be a person shaped hole in your heart, and you need someone else to focus on specifically to get your thought processes past the past. You loved that person. It is probable that this person was an almost good fit, BUT for some big reason that interfered with the long term. This happens all the time. Humans have feelings. And nothing is more difficult than having to realize that what we want we can't have, or is bad for us. Re-framing your thoughts would help. eg. Mary was a good person, but she couldn't commit. That's OK, she has to live her life, I have to live mine. I will do better.
Acekismet27
June 3rd, 2020 7:52pm
When I feel like we can not move on from something or progress through something then I try my best to let it go for a bit. I distract myself with an old interest or hobby that is tried and true for me. Get some More fresh air and move my body more. I meditate and make the goal to quiet my mind or focus only on one thing. I ask myself what is it that holds me back? Am I scared? Is there something I am struggling to understand. What is the next step? Can the step be broken into smaller steps? Whats the worst thing that could happen if I move forward? Whats the best thing that might happen?
Rebekah029
June 12th, 2020 11:30pm
Sometimes moving on is a lot easier than it sounds. A person may have treated you poorly whether that be cheating, lying, or not coming to you. But sometimes it's hard to remember that and instead you can foxate on the good times, even if there were very few of them, making it even harder to move on. It's important to remember that this is completely natural and one day, it will get easier. Remember you are worth more. And if actually they were good... Maybe they just weren't ready. Always reach out to talk to someone if you can.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2020 10:19pm
It can be difficult to move on because things that are familiar tend to be more comfortable than new things. Anything that is new has so many different possibilities, which makes it a really scary thing to move on towards. Another factor may be some remaining hurt that keeps your mind on the past rather than focusing on moving forward. Moving on takes a lot of time and can be really hard, so having support and someone that will listen to you can be really beneficial! Remember not to put too much pressure on yourself and to remember that everyone has their own unique timeline.
creativeMist74
July 12th, 2020 3:21am
you can’t seem to move on because there will always be a piece of him/her with you. every time you hear your guys song or if you see a picture of you guys together all the emotions will flood back. which absolutely sucks but you have to want to move on and have to want to get through this. the hardest thing is trying to speak to them like you are fine and it isn’t bothering you. believe me it may feel like everything is crashing down right now but it has to get better. please remember you are good enough.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2020 1:45am
Whether it was the end of a relationship, or something tragic happened where you are dwelling on the past, there could be a number of reasons why you can't seem to move on. Perhaps you lost someone special to you and you can't move on because they impacted your life in many meaningful ways. Or let's say you don't want to move on from a major setback in your life. This is understandable because you might've not seen this coming and it came at a very bad time. The list goes on and on. Ultimately, just know that it's probably hard to process and this is a normal stage of coping with the new reality.
talkswithariba
August 15th, 2020 1:38am
Moving on requires a lot of effort. Or maybe none of it. Moving on doesn't mean to forget everything, it doesn't mean to never think about it ever again. Moving on means that whatever happened, it doesn't affect you anymore. You don't care about it anymore. It's a thing of the past, and now you have a future to look forward to. It can be difficult to move on, specially if it's something or someone you were attached to. And it can take a long time. Moving on is a natural thing. When we get involved in other things, when are priorities change, we forget about previous stuff and we slowly move on. Indulging yourself in other activities, surrounding yourself with good people, spreading positive energy, focusing on yourself and your health can help you move on. But try not to stress about it. You'll move on! ❤️
contentedBeauty22
August 20th, 2020 9:09pm
The reason why you can not move on is that you have a big heart, and sometimes you want to keep someone because they once made you happy and who does not love having those types of memories. But that is the thing we need to stop thinking because we might not see it, but it's hurting us, and it is not letting us move on. I would say that it is something you should take baby steps; you can not just sleep it off. Making new hobbies or new friends is what helped me. but that does not mean that you should mask your feelings, you need to acknowledge the fact that you feel that way and make mental notes on how to improve and how to be happy on your own and not to depend on others for your happiness
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 12:09am
Moving on is always hard, no matter the situation. It takes time, patience, and sometimes healing yourself along with it. If you're having trouble figuring out what thoughts are going on inside your head, write them down. Journal what you are feeling. Guess why you're feeling it. You might not find an answer, but it's good to put things down instead of leaving them in your head in a confusing mess. As humans, we are very passionate and sensitive. It might take a while to move on, it varies among each person. But don't get tripped up when it takes you longer than expected, or when other people move on more quickly. Everyone is different.
Shantha135
September 26th, 2020 10:34am
The past keeps holding me back. And sometimes it feels impossible to let go of some people or some things. I guess its just difficult. As much as you want to let go you can't. Ive come to a point where i feel like im at a stand still. I want to let go and move forward from all the hurt and all the pain everyone has caused and the pain i caused myself. But it just feels so difficult. Im soo used to choosing everyone and not myself that this is why its so difficult to walk away
Olivecoloreddreams
October 7th, 2020 8:56pm
Moving on from a relationship is very difficult. The deeper the connection, the more difficult it will be. Oftentimes we try to hide the pain that we feel from ourselves. This sometimes can extend the time it take to "move on". Take time to let yourself feel what you feel. Own your emotions. Take as much time as you need. Your feelings and emotions are valid even if they don't match to the thoughts and timelines of those around you. Your emotions matter, so allow them to take all of the time they need. Your timeline is your timeline.
CarrieBeans
October 10th, 2020 4:04pm
Moving on or any sort of change can certainly be difficult, especially if you have been in that situation for a long time and depended on it. It feels like a part of you has been ripped away and you often keep thinking back to how it used to be and wonder where it all went wrong. Then, there may come that period when you move back in forth between between wanting to move on and not being able to from even the smallest hint from the past. It can seem uncontrollable you may feel disappointed in yourself for not being able to get past this. However, from relationships, to friendships, to even parts of yourself, the most helpful way I learned was to talk to people about it and accept that this process can take time and be painful. Talking to people may allow you to realize that there are others supporting you and that there are other ways to feel normal and happy again, and that you WILL be content once again. Many people want to support you as long as you let them in. Accepting your weakness in not being able to move on gives you time to heal and be kind to yourself. This most important thing is to focus on yourself and your own needs at this time. It's okay to slip up once in awhile and dive back to the past, but as long as you keep thinking of ways to make yourself fulfilled, it will get better.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2020 8:04am
can be a few different reasons, first you need time. if your breakup is fresh, you must wait atleast a couple months. time heals wounds we never knew were possible to heal, you just need to be patient. another reason could be that you don't want to move on. i feel that anyone who actually want to move on and makes a genuine effort to do so can do it. For this you need to get out of your house, talk to your friends, meet new people and date others. If you are doing this half-heartedly, without putting genuine effort, it will seem difficult to move on. Make an effort and you will definitely move on from the past.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2020 5:05pm
People seem to think they cannot move on and that's not true, reason why you never see progress is because you never put actions to it, in order to move on you need to act on it. Basically you can't just sit down and say you a failure without even trying to write the paper, basically what I'm trying to say is that as a person you need to act on something before you conclude reason being is because nothing is impossible in life, everything you do has and advantage so if you want to move on then you should start working on it which is by doing what you like and what makes you happy
Anonymous
March 19th, 2021 5:24am
It is normal to be stuck on something. It is hard to move on from things important to you. What helps me is writing things down. It helps get all my word feeling and emotions out on paper rather than holding them in. Writing is a safe space just for you. Try getting a cool notebook or journal to make it more fun and enjoyable for you or even a cool pen or pencil. Once you get your thoughts out it will help you move on and get unstuck from some of those thoughts. Don't worry if your not into writing there are many more ways such as typing or saying your emotions out loud.
FuturePsychologist
May 1st, 2021 2:46pm
Moving on have certain steps. You have to understand that there is no quick path on moving on. First you have to acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to feel the pain, to grieve your loss. Second understand that it takes time, dont force it. We all have different time of moving on, walk at your own pace. Third, Allow distractions, experience new things and search for new hobbies. Fourth, Talk to someone, allow yourself to unburden your thoughts and feelings buried in your mind. Talking is therapeutic, it's a way to heal. And lastly make peace with the past. Understand that you can't change it anymore. You are not in control of your past anymore, what you can control is the present and your future.
bubblegumPuppy68
July 31st, 2021 5:15am
In answer to the question, "Why I can't seem to move on" In my experience when I get stuck and feel like I just can't seem to move forward is because I have not resolved the problem I am dealing with. Outwardly I think that I have made peace with the problem but that the interbrain has not been able to process the problem to satisfactory. So there is an inward war going on inside our heads. What has been helpful for me is to sit down and think about what I am stuck on and begin to brainstorm every aspect of the problem that comes to mind and then I can look at all I have written and weed through things that are not productive to resolving the issue and the things that are relevant to the issue which gives me a clearer view of where I need to start to work on. There'll always be times that we may get stuck in an area where there have been high levels of stress. This is just an opportunity for us to keep working on ourselves. The trick is to just not stay in that spot. Past experiences are ingrained in our bodies and our subconscious mind that it does become hard to move on. If you can't do it on your own it may be time to ask for professional help.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2021 4:34am
Thank you for reaching out! Being in a relationship for long and having that strong bond or connection makes it really hard when someone chooses to split from you or you choose to split from them. The intoxication of being in love with someone can be addictive. However, when they leave the exact opposite feeling happens. You can feel like there is a void in your life that you are unable to fill. It’s important to think about the potential triggers making it difficult for you to move on. Have relationships in the past ended in a similar way? Could it be that this is your first relationship so it’s incredibly shocking how things ended ? Are you looking for ways to be in contact with this person such as being tempted to talk to them on social media, text them or try to talk to them on the phone? If the answer is yes to you trying to make contact with them then this maybe the reason why it can be challenging to move on. Unfollowing them on social media maybe something to reflect on if wanting to try to move on. Perhaps there are some unresolved experiences of trauma in terms of people related to you abandoning you. Ask yourself do you reject others before they have a chance to reject you to avoid being hurt? You may want to explore what your defense mechanisms are, what helps you move forward with your life and what holds you back in your life. The answer on being able to move on would be a conversation with friends and family or discovering a new interest or hobby. Try discovering a new hobby or do some things that you love. There are tons of listeners that are willing to help you explore your thoughts further on 7 cups as well. Specific support such as Relationship support room is available on Thursday’s 24/7 for communication with members also going through any issues just like yourself who just want to open up too! :)
adoredLily42
September 21st, 2021 3:59pm
to truly move on you need to distance yourself from your ex. it's a mental game. everytime you remember or start to think about him, catch yourself in the act and consciously STOP it. get yourself busy as much as you can. Even when you do all of the above you will still think about them from time to time and try to cheat, but eventually you get carried away and busy and it starts to happen less and less until you suddenly realize you completely forgot about them and you don't have the urge to check on them anymore ! You are moved on!
Anonymous
October 6th, 2021 5:36pm
It's absolutely normal to not be able to move on. Depending on your specific situation, you could be not moving on for many reasons. Sometimes people are really attached to something and it can seem impossible to let go. People get attached to other people, emotions, physical things, memories, ideas, and each and every attachment is valid. Another reason people have a hard time moving on is because if the person did, they'd affect everyone around them. When people are holding you back from being your highest self, it's best to get rid of them and let them go. Yes it could be painful, but if it's going to help you it will.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2021 3:13pm
Moving on can take time which is completely normal. Everyone is different and it may take some people longer than others. If you are still interacting with the person, it's just going to make it harder for you to move on from them. You might want to be mutual or friends but you will need to wait for all romantic feelings to vanish. Take some time for yourself and don't stress about the other person. Do things that you enjoy doing or find a new hobby. Meet new people to talk to or find someone you can trust and explain the situation to them. For someone non-judgemental and understanding, you can try a listener on 7 Cups. The community cares about you.
AvrilGraceofGale
December 10th, 2021 2:34pm
Sometimes we find it difficult to find strength and ... - To not give up. Work on and try. But this is necessary. Your path won't be easy, but you'll pass it, I'm sure. No other way. Pull yourself together and understand, you can do more. - Move on. Failure haunts you over and over again, and trying again creates fear. It's okay, I understand you. But sooner or later this step will have to be taken. Do not postpone it, every new action and every new attempt will bring you closer to the result. - Work on yourself. Yes, sometimes it's easier for us to ignore our flaws and weaknesses than to believe in them. Yes, sometimes we think that everyone needs to change except us. But such thoughts will not bring us closer to a better version of ourselves. It's okay to work on yourself. You are not adjusting to someone, you are looking for yourself. - Look for a way out. Sometimes we choose to lie and stare at the ceiling rather than look for a way out and try to make a difference. Everyone is to blame: people, circumstances, but not us. This is not always the case. There is always a way out. Just find the one that's right for you. - Believe in yourself. But who will do it for you? You are strength. You can change everything. Just imagine how many chances, opportunities and options you have. Never despair.