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Why can't I stop thinking about the person when I know I don't even like them anymore?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 12:41pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner


I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
September 21st, 2015 1:05pm
Because, you subconsciously do like them. You are just trying to deny that feeling. That is called trying to suppress the memory. You might still like that person but you consciously know you shouldn't, so you're doing what your brain tells you to.
June 30th, 2015 6:44am
Because of the effect that they have on you. Some people whether they are around or not, whether you like them or not, tend to strike your deepest fears, till your fear persists, the person persists in your thoughts.
August 18th, 2015 8:22am
Because the good moments that you live with that person are the reason why your brain is repeating the memories again. You want to feel like you felt at that time, but not with the same person.
September 2nd, 2017 9:28pm
Because you like the attention the person gave you or maybe you want people to want you. I was like this when I was younger and I dated a guy who gave me so much attention and wanted to be around me. I soon broke up with him (because I found out I never liked him but the attention he gave me and I got bored with his attention) and found myself daydreaming of him wanting me back even though I was relieved he didn't want me in reality but also a bit disappointed. I wanted guys to turn their heads and look at me as if I was the most gorgeous person alive and to want me. A very shallow desire from a person who was insecure in themselves at that time. Luckily I only dated one guy during that time because once I found out who I was, i stopped myself from ever dating someone again even. I don't regret doing that to a person but I know it's not right but however, I do regret that time I wasted being with him. Not saying this is you but could be a thought.
May 30th, 2015 8:50pm
The person used to be a really big part of your life, they were a part of you. They were like a habit and habits are not easy to break
August 10th, 2015 4:26am
You might not like them, however having strong feelings for someone doesn't change overnight. Even if said person has wronged you in a way that can never be forgiven. The feelings are real or were real and it isn't about still liking them, its about having had an emotional connection with them at one point. It doesn't just go away.
June 22nd, 2015 4:39am
to some extent you have developed an autonomous chain reactuo of train of thoughts about that person. Its difficult and makes you feel irate and feeda anger. I know how you feel. It hinders in your everyday routine and distracts you living a normal life
June 6th, 2015 4:35am
Sometimes our feelings for people linger, it's normal. Things will get better with time. Continue focusing on things that matter the most and eventually you will not think about them as much.
February 29th, 2016 11:36pm
Maybe you do like them but are forcing yourself not too if you think you do not like someone you can never be to sure you might think you don't think them but you probably still do.
April 18th, 2017 12:04pm
Your mind gets thrown into a sort of loop when you lose a person. Even though you don't like them anymore, you've spent a considerable amount of time with them and thinking about them was your habit. Breaking habits is hard and can be a long process. It needs time, you will think less about them every single day until a day comes when you'll realise you haven't thought about that person for a day or more already. Just know it does pass.
June 23rd, 2015 3:50pm
If you cannot stop thinking about the person when you know you don't even like them anymore is because YOU ARE STILL LIKING THEM. Maybe they have done something you dislike or they hurt you, then you immediately force yourself to hate them. Perhaps they are someone you loved/liked and you guys had great memories together that you always keep remembering about all those sweet moments that keep you still living in the history.
February 16th, 2016 12:59pm
Because you enjoy hating the person ... You just don't wanna stop thinking about how much you hate this person ...
October 27th, 2015 4:22am
Your feelings are not something you can just turn off. Even though you may think you dont like them anymore deep down you may still care about their wellbeing.
April 12th, 2015 9:52pm
Your heart still yearns for that feeling that you had before. They might have played a special role in your life and it can be hard to let go of them, even if you have let go of them emotionally.
January 28th, 2015 4:42am
We people are a creature of habit. Sometimes even when we don't want to see that person anymore we still miss the company and the things we used to do with that person. As time goes by, we learn to move on and live a new life.
August 8th, 2016 9:47am
Hello I am here to listen and try to make you feel better after our conversation, happy to help. helping you
June 7th, 2015 10:46pm
Maybe they were important in your life at one time or another. Just because you stop seeing a person doesn't mean they where never someone you cared about.
February 28th, 2017 2:25pm
This person likely had a large part in your life for some time. We can't pick and choose our thoughts and our subconscious can bring them to mind. Keep distracting yourself and reconnect with other friends etc to keep your mind busy and in time you won't think of them anymore.
June 22nd, 2015 7:48pm
the question you got to ask yourself is whether you feel hatred and anger towards them or is it something more complicated .... if its the first then there might be some unresolved issues that needs to be sorted otherwise it may be some hung up expectation or something different
November 30th, 2015 11:37pm
Maybe that person is still on your mind. Or you may have unresolved issues with them that need to be resolved before you can move on.
January 24th, 2015 4:12pm
Personally, I couldn't stop thinking about my first boyfriend, even months after we'd broken up. I think it was because he was the first person I had really loved, and I will always remember him because of that.
December 4th, 2018 12:15am
Sometimes we hold onto the memory of a person because they were a large part of our lives. The time after a breakup/seperation from a crush or relationship or even a friendship can be difficult and to combat anxiety we often hold the thought of that person and find it difficult to move on because you are nervous about a future without that person in it. You may feel uncomfortable for a while about the prospect of being alone. Sometimes, you think about an individual because you have not given yourself the space to heal and need help or time to shake away those feelings.
July 20th, 2020 12:41pm
First we need to understand that our mind works on and identification and repetition of thought process. So, if you want to stop thinking about the person you don't like anymore, first start identifying the thought pattern like 1) what things and situation makes you remember that person and after identifyng that now attach your real experience with that situtaion. 2) In this way you will identify all the materialistic things and situations, which makes you remember that person and alter your thinking pattern in every aspect and you will be free one day. This will help you a lot and your life experieces will start changing. Thanks